- Modern Ninjas are generally six foot-tall white or Asian males, unmarried, who live on islands working as bodyguards for evil, French billionaires.
- Guard dogs cannot kill or overpower Ninjas, no matter how large or well-trained.
- Ninjas are not only silent — they’re mute from birth. They moonlight as mimes.
- Orphaned, white teenagers invariably become better at Ninjitsu than the 80 year-old Japanese masters who taught them.
- Ninja clans can hold grudges longer than the Middle East.
- Ninjas frequently hold practice sessions in abandoned New York warehouses that somehow still have electricity, but no rat or roach problems.
- Ninjas inevitably meet their end fighting in death matches held by their evil, French billionaire bosses.
- Despite their secrecy, Ninjas are actually quite easy to encounter or hire.
- When it comes to the discriminating, evil French billionaire, an army of Ninjas is the preferred weapon of choice over nuclear weapons, computer viruses, bio-terrorism or rabid Yorkies.
What have you learned about Ninjas?