Davezilla

Clean humor, filthy comments

Guide to Artists’ Models No. 6: The Dribbler

  • 15 November, 2005
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The Dribbler Despite his brutish, troll-like appearance, the Dribbler is an excellent model, able to hold unchallenging poses for an hour without tiring. Yes, he has more body odor and hair than a Musk Ox. Yes, he has 5:00 shadow by 9:15 am. These are all excusable and minor in comparison to the trait that gave him his nickname. You see, unlike the Closet Perv, who gets off on being naked in front of young women, the Dribbler takes his work seriously and with great dedication. If only his body had the same attention span that his brain had. His second brain has a leak. Not pee. Pre-cum. Spidery threads …..

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Guide to Artists’ Models No. 5: Former Fashion Model

  • 14 November, 2005
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The Former Fashion Model At first glance, the first year art student may assume the professor had brought a cadaver for the class to draw. Then the cadaver coughs, a miserable, cancerous cough that produces more than a few moths and dust. It is not a cadaver, but a former fashion model, driven to nude modeling in a last ditch attempt to get men to appreciate her faded glory. Back in the 1970s, when boob jobs were still in their infancy, she rushed at the chance to get the operaion in hopes that it would increase business. Large breasts were big back then (excuse the pun). Just as she traded …..

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Guide to Artists’ Models No. 4: The Closet Pervert

  • 13 November, 2005
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The Closet Pervert Possibly the ugliest known human (certainly the ugliest person I’ve ever drawn) is the Closet Pervert. At only thirty-three, he looks closer to ninety-seven, owing to chronic masturbation which has sucked away his life force. With his greying locks, he resembles one of the Founding Fathers, but as no woman in her right mind would sleep with this panty-sniffing letch, he hasn’t fathered a thing. During art class, the Pervert’s eyes never stand still. They are constantly looking under easels to see what color underwear the women are wearing. A bead of sweat forms on his brow if he spies some cotton and shortly after, he salutes …..

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