Tag Archives: Freaks

More People We Can Safely Dislike, #8

  • Jodi Arias supporters
  • Twilight fans. Fuck all of you. Vampires don’t sparkle.
  • People who change their profile photo to reflect the latest meme, social cause or trend with no clue why other than their friends are all doing it, too.
  • [DISCLAIMER: This one is probably only a Michigan thing] Drivers who get into the Michigan turn lane diagonally, thus taking up both lanes and refuse to pull out into traffic, even after a vicious, sustained honk.
  • Uma Thurman

  • While, not a person, Punxsutawney Phil, who needs to be made into a rug. That useless, pus-bag has never predicted spring correctly. Ever. And don’t correct me in the comments. He sucks. If I could make a movie, it would be called Kill Phil and Uma Thurman would take out Phil and all his kin in a deliberate and most brutal fashion.
  • People who leave their outdoor Christmas decorations up through the spring and summer—and continue to light them up nightly.

People Who Need to Go Far, Far Away

  1. People who hit their brakes inexplicably when nothing is in front of them and they aren’t speeding.
  2. People who use douchebag words like ‘braggadocious’ and ‘YOLO’ in everyday speech.
  3. The inventors of Powerpoint, Jeggings, Crocs and UGGs.
  4. The creators of ‘Call of the Wildman’, ‘Hillbilly Handfishing’ and other white trash train wrecks.
  5. Professionals who say, “Let’s really think out of the box on this one, guys.” As if their coworkers were intentionally coming up with tired ideas because no one reminded them to be innovative.
  6. Honey Boo Boo, although I rather feel bad for this kid. She’ll grow up realizing that she was the laughing stock of the entire world and no one really liked her at all.
  7. People who never wash their hands after using the loo.
What. The. Fuck. Is. That? Kill it. Kill it with fire!
What. The. Fuck. Is. That? Kill it. Kill it with fire!