If you’ve ever read the Song of Solomon in the bible—a love poem between two lovers—then you’ve read one of the weirdest books ever. The way the woman is described makes her sound like something only H.P. Lovecraft could conceive of. In fact, this guy may have been writing about Cthulhu. If I told my fiancée that her breasts looked like two deer and her teeth like sheep, I think I’d be sleeping on the couch for a month. Let’s look at a few choice verses: Her: # Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves’ eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a …..