Guide to Artists’ Models No. 2: The Nudist

Nude Model No. 2,The NudistSecond only in popularity to The Earth Mother, The Nudist is usually an elderly gentleman, with a silver ponytail collected from his few remaining strands of hair. His buttocks are withered as raisins and his hairy stomach hangs from him like a weaverbird nest.

The Nudist loves the outdoors and finds no greater pleasure than sunbathing on the front lawn, while waving casually to his astonished neighbors. He’s retired from his corporate job and now spends his days making wine in his basement in the nude, reading “Naturist” magazines while nude, and riding his Harley, in the nude.


  1. “Pretty young thing like you confined in all that clothing. It ain’t natural.”
  2. “Course, me and my ladyfriend still have sex from time to time. We did it last night on the bench you’re sitting on.”
  3. “How’s the Cabernet? You know I was nude when I made that.”
  4. “I’m just trying to get back to Eden. Fruits, nuts and nude folk. How God intended it.”
  5. “I know your aunt! We shared a hot tub up north. Nude.”
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  • logan

    wtf is up with that:eek:

  • http://MIGHTYTHOR Carl

    This is why people have sex in the dark.

  • Mandy

    Sex in the dark? But you don’t get to see the :wang: and :boobs::boobs:. What’s the point? :razz:

  • Marcus

    :razz:Yes, a cup of tea would be quite nice. This is a beautiful print of “Nude descending a staircase” It’s what I do every morning.:wtf:

  • rust

    father… father…!

    *son!* *wheeze*

  • Sir Osiss

    yes…Luke…search your feelings…dang, I mean rust…my bad! :geek:

  • mYstEryGirL

    can you say ‘scared for life?’:-?

  • GentleRose

    :!: i agree that definately *scar’d* me almost enough to not ever stay married long enough for my old man to get that ugly

  • Paige