last "Confidence booster for men:" :: Current :: next "What’s in your pants?"
March 25, 2002 :: "My destiny"
There are seven types of 40-something men in Royal Oak. Should I decide to stay in this town for a few more years I will be among their numbers. Having recognized and identified them, I have a few years to decide which one is the right look for me. I’m open to suggestions.
- The Indiana Jones: These men seem to think they look like Harrison Ford. They drive Land Rovers and own handmade Klein mountain bikes which they are afraid of getting dirty.
- Morpheus: The mentor from The Matrix. I am partial to this look, the only difficulty for me in pulling it off, I am not black.
- John Belushi (Sportsman): Sloppy, unshaven sports nuts, partial to genital scratching and belching. Volume control is unknown to them.
- Ned Flanders: I’ve only seen The Simpsons twice. This character stood out as his real-life counterpart seems to be everywhere in Royal Oak and is just as annoying.
- Easy Rider: The aging hippie having his mid-life crisis with his new Harley. He’s certain women are swooning over his stringy, grey ponytail.
- Tech Support: Still living with Mom at 42. Every issue of Sandman and the Preacher (in protective plastic sleeves) are proudly displayed in his bedroom. Has Neil Gaiman’s home number, but does not have the numbers of any women that aren’t related to him.
- Tuffie (Trendy Urban Filipinos): Filipino men dress pretty cool, but refuse to admit they are aging. They show up at raves and think the bottled water is for health conscious attendees like themselves.
Err, you meant Morpheus the mentor from 'The Matrix' right?
interesting....
dammit, i took too long to write my thing...oh well. just ignore me and continue on with your life
ha! well, this counts as another entry on the "reasons not to move back to my hometown" list. and it was getting to be such a close decision...
Take the freakin red pill and be done with it =O
Jeez, what the Hell was I thinking? Good catch. It’s been corrected. I need to stop doing these at midnight.
dude.. at least there are 7 to choose from. When I lived in *cough* there seemed to be only one kind. Hunter green shirt with tennis shoes and baseball cap. And a beer gut for good measure.
Oh we’ve had those types eradicated. They were chased down, cornered and fed to the homeless.
hey, now that you mention it, i WAS that guy with the hunter green shirt, baseball cap and tennis shoes. no socks though...
None of the above. Well maybe Morpheus to some extent.
What do you mean, you've only seen the Simpsons twice? Is that some kind of sick joke?
This is one of those "regional" inside jokes isn't it?
Oh... I would love to be a Tuffie... lol.. the great thing about us Filipino men is that we don't age.. LOL
I liked the Simpsons Amy. But I don’t need to watch The Simpsons; I hear each episode replayed in its entirety at work by every GM employee.
i think you should break the mold and offer your political candidacy. wear drab blue suits, smile a lot, and sport interesting tie tacks appropriately chosen to appeal to whichever audience you're trying to win over. Royal Oaks needs more of these kind of men. find a wife and kids, preferably a former crackho so you can inspire "those out on the streets". it will help your career.
Let me take this opportunity to prove my cultural coolness as being greater than yours since I have only watched the Simpson's ONCE, and even then I wasn't really watching it cause I was busy darning hemp socks.
Oh. I wasn’t trying to be cool by saying that. I was apologizing for being an out-of-it hermit.
Dave, you will always be my density.
filipinos. cool points dave. you mentioned filipinos. :-)
I know the Simpsons is supposed to be very cool and very funny and all, but I just can't watch it. It drives me crazy and makes me want to throttle the characters. sigh. I know, I need to relax more.
Umm.... so what IS the bottled water for?
You can quickly suffer dehydration while taking E at a rave. Add your two cents
He said. She said. There’s 22 Comments
My younger brother and I are both from China, now I live in Chicago and he lives in Royal Oak. All his years of life there have affected him: he looks more like Truffie every day.
Lucy :: 25 March, 2002 01:16 AM
i would just like to point out that neo is keanu reeves' character in the matrix, rather than the black bald man of whom you speak, played by laurence fishburne. his name is morpheus.
hallie :: 25 March, 2002 01:18 AM
hallie :: 25 March, 2002 01:20 AM
leslie :: 25 March, 2002 02:33 AM
Goo - Roo :: 25 March, 2002 04:59 AM
Davezilla :: 25 March, 2002 06:28 AM
lynn :: 25 March, 2002 07:48 AM
Davezilla :: 25 March, 2002 08:02 AM
john :: 25 March, 2002 08:42 AM
But you *know* you are closest to Inter galactic space yeti.
Minnie :: 25 March, 2002 09:24 AM
amyc :: 25 March, 2002 09:56 AM
Dan :: 25 March, 2002 09:58 AM
rannie :: 25 March, 2002 10:07 AM
Davezilla :: 25 March, 2002 10:30 AM
branOphelia :: 25 March, 2002 01:40 PM
Brodie :: 25 March, 2002 02:58 PM
;^p
Davezilla :: 25 March, 2002 03:11 PM
mcfly :: 25 March, 2002 03:44 PM
you should watch the Simpsons more. it's a classic.
mike :: 25 March, 2002 05:50 PM
Karen :: 25 March, 2002 06:17 PM
hilary :: 26 March, 2002 09:48 AM
Davezilla :: 26 March, 2002 09:59 AM
You may use limited HTML in your comments (bold, italic and urls)
