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February 11, 2002 :: "And now the news..."

Virgins now worth getting ESPN for
The price of a virgin in Uganda has been upped from a goat to a television set recently. Well thank Gawd for that.

Health Minister Robert Ssebunya says, “I accept that a goat is perhaps no longer enough of an incentive for young people today, but we will try to come up with rewards that will tempt them to preserve the good morals of the kingdom.”

It is uncertain whether or not Arkansas will follow suit in light of this announcement.

Scientists spell grant K-R-A-F-T
Because American scientists need something to study, and our military needs junk food, our scientists are hard at work perfecting a macaroni and cheese dish that can last three years in the field.

Alarming statistic for short bastards with no money
Tall, rich, happy men have fewer strokes apparently. Since there’s only about seven of them worldwide, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

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He said. She said. There’s 6 Comments

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there's only seven of them? no wonder they're so hard to find.
miss b :: 11 February, 2002 01:00 PM

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Yeah and I keep a busy schedule... *cough cough*
Davezilla :: 11 February, 2002 01:26 PM

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Virginity worth a Television? That kind of puts a new twist on the 'sex or TV' battle that goes on in so many bedrooms...
Kevin Fox :: 11 February, 2002 01:56 PM

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dammit i didn't get a tv afterwards. i got a cold pizza and an acned boy leering at my titties.
guppy :: 11 February, 2002 03:30 PM

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TMI girl.
Davezilla :: 11 February, 2002 04:10 PM

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My goodness. And here I thought you were making that quote up!

As for macaroni & cheese MREs, I don't see why they bother. All MREs come with tiny little bottles of tobasco sauce, with which soldiers drench their food to the point of making tastebuds optional. Heck, give 'em gruel. It's not gonna matter.
hilary :: 12 February, 2002 12:31 PM

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