davezilla.com > current: February 05, 2002: "That tingling feeling isn’t your conscience; it’s your shampoo"

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February 05, 2002 :: "That tingling feeling isn’t your conscience; it’s your shampoo"

Don’t know who to vote for in some of those obscure Anti-Bloggie categories? Here are some shameless hussies who have bribed, pimped, cajoled, blackmailed, ass-kissed or just [gasp!] politely asked to win certain categories. Vote for them. Vote till it hurts.

Michele wants to win Best Heterosexual Weblog and/or Biggest Potty Mouth. [Ya think?]
Tracy wants to win Biggest Potty Mouth, Most Banal Content, Dumbest Title [FujikoSmurf] and Most Annoying and/or Irrelevant Commentary.
The adorable Min Jung Kim wants to win Biggest Stalker and Worst Abuse of the Third Person.
My dear friend Ann is shamelessly link-whoring to win Coolest Mirror Project Photo.
Amy wants to win Most Annoying and/or Irrelevant Commentary “because my blog sucks and I doubt I'll ever win anything *sob sob*.” [We feel your pain. I guess.]
Stephanie wants to win Worst Café Press Gear. [She has none]
Nick wants to sweep the Best Comment Tags two years running.
Vying for attention for Chronic Redesignitis we have the loudest, extroverts I’ve ever met: Amy and Nikki.
I myself, am pushing for Most Caffeinated Blogger. As co-creator I should be disqualified, but dammit, if Nikolai can be a finalist in his own awards, so can I.
And lastly, Tamity doesn’t know it yet, but she really, really wants to win Least Updated Blog.

Whew! Did I miss anyone?

He said. She said. There’s 29 Comments

Yeah, me, I wanna win... uh, which has the best prize?

Wil Wheaton DVD?! Holy cow! I wanna win that one!
D :: 05 February, 2002 09:17 AM

ah, yes. i'm afraid i have redesignitus. and i'm late for work everyday. and i love cheese sandwiches. mmm, cheese.
amy :: 05 February, 2002 09:58 AM

Support groups are available for counseling Amy.
Davezilla :: 05 February, 2002 10:01 AM

you know i have to have the "mentions their cat the most" award...or i'll cut you.
denise :: 05 February, 2002 11:10 AM

But where‘s the swag, I mean, love Denise? Neither Leia nor I have gotten any decent bribes from you or Chuck.
Davezilla :: 05 February, 2002 11:12 AM

The only reason I want the best heterosexual blog award is so I can win Choire and Philo's nifty prize and then write a lovely acceptance speech referencing anal sex.
michele :: 05 February, 2002 11:54 AM

Yeah, you missed me!! I wanna win! I wanna win any Anti-Bloggie! I mostly want to win traffic, and I'd kill a clown to simply be mentionned on davezilla.com!! Actually, I'd kill a clown any time, if I wasn't busy cowering in a corner in fear when they're around, but... I had a point when I started this... oh yeah, Anti-Bloggies! I want one! I can stalk! I can be a jerk! I have bad hair! hmm, no, I don't. That one was just a shameless lie.
I was thinking, though, may be next year you could have an Anti-Bloggie category for "female going online under a male name, having French as a first language but writing mostly in English, addicted to her own website and living in Montreal". No? Well, I had to try.
Please, Mr. Zilla (I just love that people actually call you that!), can I get an Anti-Bloggie??? ;-)
vieux bandit :: 05 February, 2002 12:12 PM

Bah. I deserve "Least Updated Blog". I don't update circles around everybody else, and have been successfully keeping people in the dark for several months now. If my archives were working, I could prove that.
Arvid :: 05 February, 2002 12:13 PM

I was thinking I could be in the running for "MOST BANAL CONTENT" or "MOST DISTRACTING BACKGROUND IMAGE." Maybe "DUMBEST TITLE"
Morgan :: 05 February, 2002 12:21 PM

I'll take anything, but honestly, if there was ever a case for redesignitus it's me. I mean, I made a new design every day for the nine days leading up to Lord of the Rings.

Wait. There's not a Lord of the Rings geek award, is there?
Xkot :: 05 February, 2002 12:41 PM

ahem. and all this time i thought i'd won you over, dave [biggest a-lister suck-up]. i thought for sure you wanted to get in my pants like all the rest of them [best use of blog for dates and/or sex]. oh well. i guess i'll have to be satisfied with just being me [best heterosexual blog/biggest jerk - whichever].
miss b :: 05 February, 2002 12:56 PM

*LOUD SIGH*

you all know you just want to be me.

I am the redesign queen. see?

then again, these delusions might simply be fever-inspired, and you might not want to be me. hell, you might not even like me. but I do free designs for other people, and since this *is* all about bribery....
erika :: 05 February, 2002 01:19 PM

Ah See Miss B. You were sucking up the wrong person. I’m not an A-Lister. I just play one on the Internet.
Davezilla :: 05 February, 2002 01:20 PM

I volunteer for worst Cafe Press Gear (check it out, it's bad) or biggest potty mouth. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck. :)
RedDwarf :: 05 February, 2002 01:35 PM

I see how it is. Y’all just want me for my big ... hit count.
Davezilla :: 05 February, 2002 01:38 PM

Damn straight we do....
Arvid :: 05 February, 2002 01:43 PM

what, I get no points for honesty??
(going sweesh sweesh sweesh with extra-long eyelashes...)
vieux bandit :: 05 February, 2002 01:49 PM

Don't forget to vote for Phineas for Biggest Potty Mouth, and yet another Amy for ... er, for something.
jima :: 05 February, 2002 01:58 PM

is that what we're calling it these days?
erika :: 05 February, 2002 02:18 PM

Hmmm... having been laid off for 9 months, does that mean I'm *still* late for work?

2 years sweep! Weeee!
Min Jung Kim :: 05 February, 2002 04:27 PM

That’s the worst kind of late Min Jung
Davezilla :: 05 February, 2002 04:35 PM

You're telling *me*
???

See, now *I* am stalking you.
Min Jung Kim :: 05 February, 2002 06:12 PM

Wow Dave... Thanks for furthuring our shameless cause. :)
tracy :: 05 February, 2002 08:46 PM

You lot may drink coffee, but who else is Caffeine's Bitch?
Most caffeinated!
Hunh, hunh?
Bill :: 05 February, 2002 10:14 PM

I can’t argue with that Bill.
Davezilla :: 06 February, 2002 11:01 AM

Woohoo!

So, do I need to send you food or money or a two-dollar Tijuana ho?
Bill :: 06 February, 2002 02:06 PM

it's a shame that you can't punch someone in the face over the web, otherwise i'd add that to my sponsorship of the biggest jerk category. i'll have to add that to the gracious gift that i'm already offering.

there's nothing better than a toy that farts, dammit.
Jason :: 06 February, 2002 11:33 PM

You’re a class act Jason. No doubt about it.
Davezilla :: 07 February, 2002 12:06 AM

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