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January 10, 2002 :: "Coe-shnizzle"

[phone rings]
MARY: Yeah wussup?
GOD: Hey baaaaabee!

MARY: Heeeeeeeeey God!
GOD: Hey girl. Y’know.

MARY: Right right. Where you at?
GOD: Heaven y’all. Aight?

MARY: Word. I ain’t seen your ass in an age babeee.
GOD: Well you know how I got it going on.

MARY: Uh huh. Right. All your hootchies in heaven. I see how it is.
GOD: Grrrrrlll! I gots them mad skillz n such. You need to see the Gates. All tricked out wif’ pearl and shit.

MARY: Day-amn! We ain’t be having them foin things back on earth.
GOD: Hells no! You think I’m gonna waste my skillz n such on you peoples? Get rid of Babyface and Nelly. Then we’ll talk. Till then, y’alls can just deal wif’ my sloppy seconds on the flipz.

MARY: Harsh.
GOD: Straight up. Coe-shnizzle.

MARY: Heh. You ever finish them prophecies?
GOD: Which ones is that babee?

MARY: Sheee-yat. You know what I mean.
GOD: Don’t be hating on me grrrrrrl!

MARY: The ones! We talked about? Don’t even tell me you weren’t listening to me. Unh uh. Talk to the finger beeeyotch.
GOD: You. They are in motion as we speak. Revelations is in the hiz-ouse. All them shits.

MARY: Harsh.
GOD: True that.

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He said. She said. There’s 20 Comments

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Every once on a while, Dave reminds us he's from Detroit city.
Charles :: 11 January, 2002 01:18 AM

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Every once in a while, Dave makes me homesick for Detroit. Of course, this is not one of those times. ;)

btw...that was hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.
skits :: 11 January, 2002 01:27 AM

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dave, you must upload this to fipilele (but illustrated.)
wantwit :: 11 January, 2002 02:48 AM

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Word

- God
ds :: 11 January, 2002 03:36 AM

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Don’t be hating on my boiieeeeee Diggety-Dave.
Jesus :: 11 January, 2002 06:37 AM

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too funny dave!
guppy :: 11 January, 2002 09:08 AM

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What up G?
Davezilla :: 11 January, 2002 09:44 AM

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L.M.F.A.O
holy (ha haa)CRAP that was too funny !!!

lolol
jen :: 11 January, 2002 10:29 AM

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So you're saying god all bling bling - sporting gold chains and a Bentley and listening to Jay-Z? Or is he just a poser?
michele :: 11 January, 2002 10:30 AM

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He down wif it. Don't hate on J-Fresh
Davezilla :: 11 January, 2002 11:25 AM

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I love it!
Tara :: 11 January, 2002 11:50 AM

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Das right. Don't be messin' wit my baby favvah. He ALL that. And a bag of chips. MMMhhmm. (swivelling head in a circle on neck)
--Mary
jen :: 11 January, 2002 12:06 PM

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As one who is racially, ethnically, geographically, and in all other ways, unable to even fake this sort of language, all I can say is "Holy cow, Dave, that was frickin' hi-larious!"
Kristin :: 11 January, 2002 12:59 PM

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Ditto Kristen, only without the "F" word. ;o)
hilary :: 11 January, 2002 01:31 PM

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I do miss Detroit. Then again, livin' in Philly, it's really all the same shit...but I do miss the Motown flava!
adam :: 11 January, 2002 02:39 PM

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Daves going to hell, yo.
dan :: 11 January, 2002 06:07 PM

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Sooooo - get any hate mail from this yet? Heh.
batgrl :: 11 January, 2002 10:52 PM

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No! I’m so bummed out. Thought for sure this would be a sure hit...
Davezilla :: 11 January, 2002 11:03 PM

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If you want hate mail...say bad things about Kevin Smith. heh.
dan :: 11 January, 2002 11:38 PM

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Juat came across yur site....made me laugh and God knows I needed to laugh today :) You Rock!
Sandee :: 12 January, 2002 02:20 AM

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