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January 08, 2002 :: "Get that dog a latté"
Everytime I see a dog owner bring their mutt into a restaurant, I wish I was packing a piece. Not to shoot the animal; it’s not the dog’s fault its owner is a cap wearing, germ-ridden proto-hominid. It’s because the poor beast is no longer a pet at this point. It has been relegated to being a conversation starter.
“If I take my dog out for a walk, babes will pet it, and I will get laid.”Fucking genius. The truly sad part? Seeing how many women play into it.
I hear the French take their dogs everywhere. Maybe it's imitation, the French supposedly being great lovers and all.
The chick magnet thing has never worked for me while walking either of my two dogs. Perhaps I project that beaten and worn down married man look that repels the ladies more than horseshit in August.
French = great lovers? That's a good one. Don't take any wooden nickels, is all I'm sayin'.
Now what makes you think that I am a cat owner Jessica? I’ll have you know I own a beautiful, five-year old tarantula and two Red Tiger Oscars.
damn. chick magnet? oh goodness.. my 4 cats are definetly not chick magnets. no, when you move about in a community that is so widely known to be cat owning that it has become the butt of jokes and one of the stereotypes (the lesbian community), showing pictures of your cats and talking about them is kin to talking about and showing pictures of kids. :)
I never got that either. Especially the frequency with which these guys are being dragged around by "manly" pit bulls and rottweilers. Yeah, cause there's no greater chick magnet than a snarling, hostile dog.
Augustine is/was so precious!
[sniff]
I thought the reason we have pets is as a substitute for real significant others. That's why I have turtles. They're realistic, and that's about as much as you can say for them.
If it were easier to take a cat for a walk, im sure people would try it.
TC, I have had more trouble with adults and their cell phones in restaurants and theaters than I ever had with kids.
TC, your pricing theory is about the most rational thing I’ve heard in ages. I offer one modification: Adults put down a deposit for bringing in kids. If the children are well-behaved, the parents get their deposit back. That alone may be an incentive for neglectful parents to pay more attention to how awful their kids are acting.
There's a pussy joke in all this I just know it.
Dave, what about adults who pay no attention to their own behavior? Shouldn't this deposit plan apply to everyone? Or do you just prefer to discriminate against the kiddies when adults behave just as rudely, if not more so. Besides, if an adult brings a child to a movie that is not child-appropriate, they should be bitchslapped.
i wish my cat liked to go for car rides. i always envy those people that have their happy doggies in the car with them, but kitty would just get neurotic. well, more neurotic.
Lets give a hand to those Mom's who leave the kids at home when going to a restaurant or movie...to all the non-parents: you're welcome!!!
People with dogs in restaurants suck. I feel sorry for the dog & more sorry for MYSELF having to eat around the dog. That's just YUCKY.
Michele, I have no problem with the deposit for adults too. Like the points system on your drivers license. What if you got points for being a jerk? It would be hilarious to see some of these losers stoped at the door of Denny’s because they had too many asshole points on their behavior license. Being a staunch Libertarian, I am loathe to get too Big Brotherish with this though. I am only kidding. Folks just need to learn how to behave...
I tried to use my brother's dog to attract women once. Unfortunately, because I'm allergic to them, it didn't work very well. *L* Women don't generally come up to guys with swollen eyes, stuffy nose, and breaking out in hives..
You neglect to mention, my sweet Dave, that a large majority of cat owners are also elitists.
The cat owner elitists are easier to pick out of the crowd... there are roughly the same # of dog owner elitists.
The cat owners would be the ones who finished their degree programs.
www.mycathatesyou.com
I saw a study once that said a large number of male cat owners are gay.
Yes, I saw that Michele. It was written by a semi-retarded dog owner who had never been laid. I feel sorry for him.
You mean that guy who has been waiting on line to see Episode 2?
I believe it was him yes.
Um. my mum sometimes brings her wee little yorkie places. But not to use to pick up girls (I don't think . . .) So is that OK?
Dogs have owners
Here’s the difference between a dog and a cat:
OK, ladies, I'm waiting. (Don't you love this, Dave?) Oh, and I have a dog one, too.
Well, I have to admit having a dog is a great starter for conversations. Especially when the dog in question has a leg missing. ("Ooooh poor thing, what happened?" - "Well, you know, a dog that good, you can't eat it all in one go...")
He said. She said. There’s 32 Comments
Cat owners could never do it, because, they (us), in truth, do not own cats: the cats own them (us). The cats would bring us out on walks to meet other cats if we weren't such embarrassing creatures.
andrea :: 08 January, 2002 08:40 PM
machaus :: 08 January, 2002 08:48 PM
So, Dave, where are your cat pictures?
Jessica :: 08 January, 2002 09:09 PM
And ummm *ahem* ... three [cough] cats.
Jade [Scroll down a bit. Image pops up in new window]
St. Augustine[Scroll down a bit. Image pops up in new window]
Astrid
Davezilla :: 08 January, 2002 09:33 PM
brooke :: 08 January, 2002 11:44 PM
Mike :: 08 January, 2002 11:47 PM
So where are the spider photos? And the fishies?
I had to give away my tokay geckos when I got my cat, after he hunted all my frogs and reptiles to little panicky heart attack deaths, but I still keep the occaisional spider.
Babes love spiders. And carnivorous barking lizards.
Jessica :: 09 January, 2002 01:56 AM
I miss my cats...
[/sniff]
ann :: 09 January, 2002 03:26 AM
Personally, I have a BB gun all nice and oiled for people that bring their small children to restaurants and movies. I have this theory that people should pay twice, not half, price for their kids, on the basis that kids are at least twice as much trouble as adults. But, barring that, I'm keeping my BB gun oiled.
TC :: 09 January, 2002 04:32 AM
matt :: 09 January, 2002 06:09 AM
So, does anyone want two albino underwater frogs? They are great conversation starters. Guaranteed to help you attract like-minded people who are too cheap and and lazy to get involved with any real pets. Going once...going twice....
michele :: 09 January, 2002 06:21 AM
Davezilla :: 09 January, 2002 06:54 AM
dan :: 09 January, 2002 09:04 AM
Now, where was that pussy joke? I had a minute ago...
michele :: 09 January, 2002 10:10 AM
kd :: 09 January, 2002 12:02 PM
M.A. :: 09 January, 2002 12:14 PM
Kimberly :: 09 January, 2002 02:10 PM
Davezilla :: 09 January, 2002 02:39 PM
Mike McBride :: 09 January, 2002 02:47 PM
Admit it.
Tara :: 09 January, 2002 03:22 PM
Jon :: 09 January, 2002 03:24 PM
Davezilla :: 09 January, 2002 03:45 PM
dan :: 09 January, 2002 03:47 PM
michele :: 09 January, 2002 05:57 PM
Davezilla :: 09 January, 2002 08:01 PM
michele :: 09 January, 2002 08:23 PM
Davezilla :: 09 January, 2002 10:24 PM
Charles :: 10 January, 2002 12:24 AM
Cats have servants
Dogs follow orders (which is often mistaken for intelligence), while cats do as they please and make you go out of your way to accomodate them. A dog owner will often also like horses, two of the most bossed-around animals in the world. Stay away from these people if you dislike being told what to do (not everyone does). A cat servant will appreciate you sooner when you display the weirder aspects of your character, if you have any (not everyone does).
Beno :: 10 January, 2002 06:59 AM
A dog looks at his owners and thinks, “Wow! They feed me, they brush me, they see to my every need... They must be Gods!”
A cat looks at his owners and thinks, “Wow! They feed me, they brush me, they see to my every need... I must be a God!”
Davezilla :: 10 January, 2002 07:04 AM
timo :: 10 January, 2002 03:34 PM
I wholeheartedly appreciate the fact I live in a country I could call dog-owners's paradise. A dog which is well-trained (ie, lies under you chair/table pretending it isn't there) doesn't cause much trouble in a restaurant, and is probably much happier there than alone at home (gah- sorry for the serious streak there).
As for the cat, his uncanny ability to get into other people's flats and steal from their fridges allowed me to socialise with many people of my neighbourhood ;)
Didn't pick up anybody with all that, though - except maybe a colony of fleas at some point.
Stephanie :: 10 January, 2002 04:39 PM
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