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January 03, 2002 :: "Winter Driving Tips for Southern Drivers"
It seems that the southern states have been spanked with a ton of snow. Meanwhile, here in Detroit, we have but a dusting. Since many of you are unaccustomed to driving through such inhospitable conditions, I have graciously offered some tips to help you out. Pay attention as these tip may save your life.
Hey its actually funnier in person. I mean hell if you go to grocery store all milk, bread and yes toilet paper have been ripped off the shelfs. See an odd thing happens when it snows in the south. All driving laws just vanish, its amazing no stop signs, no turn signals nothing. oh don't think because you can tell the difference between the right and left lane does not mean the big red rusty ford truck heading your way does. =O
I'll remember your help when you drive down here on some of our back roads in foot deep sludge(mud) and see how well you do!!!!!! hee hee
Strangely enough, there is rain in the North... and mud! Amazing. ;p
I got a good laugh reading this one.
And in Alaska we laugh at Detroit drivers.
you damn northerners drive too slow on the highway
Hah! Ice, snow, sub 0 windchill and drivers from Iowa. A true northerner fears not these things.
I'll remeber that Freakster the next time I'm in two lane construction zone tailing a florida plated motorhome creaping at 20 miles under the speed limit.
Heh, born and bred new yawkah here, lived in GA for 4 years...if it's even a hint of snow, they clam up real good down there...I'll drive in any blizzard you can throw at me.
Actually, the speed limit here in NY is 65, not 55, and no one goes 65, we all go 75 or 80. And I totally agree with the fact that southerners can't handle an inch of snow! I mean, c`mon, they cancel school with just a light dusting. Here, we gotta get a few feet with a windchill of -10 before school is closed!
Detroit (40") gets more snow than Barrow, Alaska (28"), and Grand Rapids, Michigan (73") gets more snow than Anchorage (70").
depends on where in NY "a new yorker" I'm capital area... outside of it there's 65, but taconic is all 55... same with anything south of poughkeepsie cept for a stretch of 87
I love to hear about driving in the snow. I grew up in Iowa. Ive lived in Florida for 26 years and I have yet to wake up and think, "Damn, I wish I could drive in the snow today".
now if only that global warming would kick in sooner...
I just moved to the Grand Rapids area from Warren, Mi and we just got dumped with 54" in one week! I don't care where you live, if you can drive period, stay off the damn road! ;-)
Err...Can't.
Many of us in the south and southwest laugh just as hard at northerners whining about the summer heat. Right now I am picturing all of the pasty geeks that would literally melt if SXSW were held in August. ew.
HA! Good one. As a transplanted northerner to a southern state I can vouch for this.
The real kicker is DC when it snows. All of the foreign diplomats who can't drive their big Mercedes anyway, trying to drive in weather they haven't ever seen. And immunity will keep them from prosecution. Comical and tragic.
anyone who vouches for southern driving has donw far too many drugs... I've never seen worse driving in my life period.
Nebraska must be a southern state,
Six inches of snow, and the South shuts down? Christ, what kind of pussies are you guys? Fuck, here in Pennsylvania, six inches of snow means jack shit. Emergency crisis my ass!
Nebraska must be a southern state, because the morons here can't drive in any weather. Come to think of it, people drive with their thumb up their a** in every state I've been to.
Whatever state you go to, people drive with their thumb up their a**, I've been to most of them. Also, if you're the kind of idiot that feels it's necessary to get out on the road when there's a lot of snow or ice, you deserve to wreck.
Sheesh, I remember driving through Atlanta and it was a light rain. Cars had pulled off the side of the road to wait for it to pass. I live in Tampa, where your car needs to be more of a boat than a road vehicle. The rain here is so bad, and the runoff/water shunting systems they have to keep the roads dry is horrible. Not that anyone here cares.
Detroit reaches 98°F in the summer; -31°F in the winter. Very few states have that extreme a range. Ari, while it’s true we don’t get the extreme heat Austin gets, we’re not far below you, and we have high humidity and we get extreme cold. I’ve seen days where the temperature fluctuated by 60° in three hours. Michigan is truly the 7th plane of Hell.
Funny that most of the people "slamming into each other" down here in the south USED to live up there. Wonder why they moved?
Heh. I've lived in Minnesota most of my 48 years, and I still sometimes forget and leave the lock de-icer in the glove compartment.
You'd think that southerners would know how to drive better considering they usually start at like 10 yrs old!
you know what has always impressed me about webloggers? we are all EXCELLENT drivers. also, we are some of the world's foremost experts on how bad everyone else drives.
Oh Gawd I totally remember the carburetor days. I kept a screwdriver in my car to prop it open and then you had to spray Quick Start in there. Sometimes a small flame would appear in the carb; always fun on a date.
As a former Alabamian, transplanted to North Texas, I can tell you that driving in snow is an skill that most Southerners could easily master if we had to do it more that once overy three years. Since being here, I have had to do it quite a bit and haven't had any problems. Also, from what I have seen here on the plains, you don't have to worry about running off a cliff, a 90 foot tall embankment with no guards rails, or tumbling off the side of a mountain if you slide off the road. I yield to the point though that there seems to be a sharp cut off between the Southerners that can or cannot drive in any conditions. Some speed along the 8 lane interstate spurs and also the twisty, 1/2 lane country backroads with the skill and daring born of seeing 1 too many NASCAR races or of too much crystal meth, while others seems completely oblivious to the idea of turn signals, traffic laws, or the 15 mile long trail of cars behind them due to them driving 20 mph below the speed limit. What can I say.... we are a land of contrasts.
KD, We are experts on everything.
Well you got me on the cliffs ChainBlue. Michigan is just slightly hillier than Florida. If I stand on my tiptoes I can see across the state.
All of you should come to Buffalo. The Detroit people might have a chance, but the rest of you would last about 2 seconds. :p
Yeah you guys in Buffalo really get some serious snow. I can’t believe we don’t have any yet. other parts of Michigan got a whopping 92" of snow this week.
Didn't George Carlin say:
That little blizzard here in the late seventies...I drove thru it in a 68 camaro...over all tho this state has lame drivers, the irregular weather causes increadably bad weather forcasting...and we have the worst mix of folks...actually the weather doesn't ever scare me, only the other motorists..btw, now I drive an awd subie sport and yes awd does rule...but it doesn't stop any faster so get the hell outa my way!...and it's black so you won't see me coming...or does it show up better in the snow?
I grew up in a town of 60,000 in Southern Virginia and there was one snow plow in the whole county. The once a year 6 inch snow storm really did shut everything down because there was nothing anyone could do about it. That concept doesn't seem too hard to understand. When I went off to college I became friends with some guys from the north who never shut up about how people in the south can't drive in the snow. Enough already! Can you think of anything better to brag about? If you took the 2.5 million people that live in the DC area and transplanted them to Buffalo and then took half the snow plows away from them you would probably get the same results. The funniest thing I've ever seen happened a few years ago on the beltway in a snow storm. Some jackass with New York plates tried to overtake me on the exit ramp and I wasn't going below the speed limit. Of course this idiot with his superior ice driving skills wiped out and overturned his car. I wanted to stop and ask him how many times he laughed at the pitiful southern driver. By the way he had a Bills bumper sticker!
You're right. We Southerners don't get much practice driving in snow.(thankfully). But what you fail to realize, is that we really don't care what Northerners think about us, as long as they keep there black socks and sandles up north. Don't like how we drive? Who cares? Don't like our Confederate flag? Come try and take it. But that's a different story.
Okay, Gotta do it, I grew up in CO, so that's where I learned to drive and I gotta tell ya... yer all nuts!!! I've lived in PA and VA BOTH of which cannot handle snow.... But then again, it rains in LA and they loose their minds.... :)
like blue chain said, it does make a difference if there is a guard rail by a 90 foot drop-and yes, we could drive in the snow if we did it more often. I am from alabama, but i lived in chicago for 2 years, and you bet your sweet ass I can drive in the snow-'cause begging for a ride for 5 months out of the year got really old!!
You are dead on with the comments on southerners driving in the snow. On the other end of the spectrum, every time the temperature up north approaches 100 degrees, its all over the national news and people start dropping dead in their apartments. Haven't you people ever heard of air conditioning?
I grew up in Chicago and I remember snow that was so deep peoples houses were caving in ('78?). I have also seen every one of your horrible driving story except cliffs (I wonder if they people that overturned on the L tracks this last year counts?). It hasn't even snowed this year...bummer. Every year it's the same though - first snow NO ONE can drive, period. By the end of the season it looks like the Iditarod dog sled race to work.
I think they brake for moose and grizzlies up there.
Fark Rules!
I agree with Drew, Fark rules!
Yeah i'm texan. and i drive a little honda civic and i have the most fun in winter time. i love seeing all the suvs crashed into the walls of I-75 in dallas. "i love my 2 wheel drive suv it keeps me safe, even when i'm on my cell phone" YEAH RIGHT!! There could be cars a mile ahead of somebody and as soon as they see red lights they slam on the brakes. Oh its horrible. The worst thing of all PEOPLE act like its NEVER been winter before. Just because its cold outside (EVEN THOUGH IT HASNT RAINED IN X MONTHS) they assume theres ice on the ground so they drive 15 mph all the way home from work. people just drive too friggin slow down here period. youd think with the majority of Dallas being yankee transplants traffic would be better but its worse. winter to me is the best time to drive all season. its just plain fun driving on ice. while other people see it as a hazard i see it as a playground. maybe thats my problem. besides it only ices 2 days out of the year so i might as well enjoy it while i can.
A short story about a college girl slamming into my best friends parked toyota tacoma at a good speed. she was drunk but blamed it on her cell phone. some say its not right to hit a woman. my best friend didnt, but if that was me i probably would of shot her.
props southern man, props
davezilla:
What's the last thing heard out of a redneck's mouth before he wrecks his beat up four wheel drive?
oh, and fark rules.
Pure Californian here,
You yankees sound so confident! Your talk of SUV's and 4x4's not making it up there. SORRY GUYS, YOU'RE WRONG!!! If any of you have been to Georgia or Alabama you would know that 80% of our trucks and 40% of our SUV's have BIG "mudtires" which yall call "all-terrain" or "off-road" tires. Yall sound so confident about your compact cars or sedans making it through easily with it's "powerful" V4 or V6. My trucks got more power with it's V8 than 3 of yall's KIAS!!! BRING IT ON!!!!! Plus yall talk of your "superior" driving ability in snow, yet you can't do squat in mud. Then you come down here, and unless you're from NY, you drive like a snail! So slow, so precaucious, SO HORRIBLE! You talk so big and bad when it snows, but you cry like a baby when you get in Atlanta during rush hour. Also, we can drive on snow or iced over roads: we just knock every1 else out of the way. Sorry guys, but muscle and metal more than make up for the chains on your tires and "dent resistant" panels. Just come down here and see if you can make it Tallahasse in rush hour, then of you can survive that try Atlanta at rushhour. Then bring it on to the backroads and try some mud-boggin'! By the way, if you yankees think you can truly challenge me send me an e-mail at mls_co2002@yahoo.com so I can prove you wrong!
i've lost all faith in the idiots here.
Having lived in Joisey and upstate New York, I don't want to defend Southern drivers. But there IS a difference. Up north, we're prepared for snow. We have thousands of plows and tons and tons of salt to cover the roads. Georgia doesn't. The standard "all-season" tires we buy are specifically designed to handle snow. Your standard southern tire isn't.
I had no idea you got tornadoes in FLA. My apologies. I have heard about your crazy-ass lightning though. Saw something on the Weather Channel about Lightning Alley. Hectic.
y'all come and visit in February and feel what cold really is BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA thank you buffalo for taking the most recent hit just south of here ;)
whoever the pussy is that signed his name "Americans suck", why don't you move your faggot ass to afgahnistan with the rest of the world's pansies so we can bomb your ass to hell and back. People like you make me sick. You sit here in the comfort and security and freedom of America and then complain about her. fuck you, get out, you are not welcome here. No matter if we are from New York or South Carolina(my home), we all agree that we are Americans and damned proud of it. Northerners do some things better and we Southerners do other things better. That's why I love this country. and yes I still hold a little grudge from the civil war but not when it comes to outsiders or other pieces of shit putting her down. America-land of the free and home of the brave. love it or leave it
fogey:
Well said Captain.
Hey, its all about what you're used to. I've lived in the California Bay Area all my life and have never even SEEN snow, until last year when a freak storm dumped about 8 inches of it on the highway an hour or so before the morning commute. They had to shut down about 12 miles of highway because there weren't any snowplows in the county. Or any of the surrounding counties. Or in any counties that were remotely close to ours. Finally someone got one of those construction vehicles (those steel earth mover things) and ran it up and down the road to get most of the snow off. Unfortunatly it also scraped off all of the lane markers...was quite an adventure trying to get over the hill with all the morning traffic, everyone staring at the snow while nobody had any idea where the lanes were supposed to be. So hey, I feel for you guys down there.
"Plus yall talk of your 'superior' driving ability in snow, yet you can't do squat in mud."
Whoa freakster.. here in detroit, I get a good 115 on the highway. If you see a green blur and happen to notice it is a POS '95 Saturn, thats me.
Four-wheel-drive helps when it's time to go,
I live here in cincinnati, which does see it's share of snow and ice, which would lead many to believe that we up here in the nati have our act together. WRONG. if the local newscaster mentions that there might be a incling of snow later on in the week, people will go buy water and diapers for the kids and stock up on all the salt and shovels you could ever possibly need. But it's not only snow that people balk at, rain is just the same. So even though ohio is considered the "north" the drivers here are no better off than you guys down south. But some people just believe that a 1200lb car going 40 miles an hour on ice has the stopping ability of a M-1 Abrams Tank. ??? go figure.
Notice how there aren't too many Southerners commenting in here? It's because most of them haven't heard of that there internet and them damn 'lectronic deeeeeevices they cawl computers yet.
Notice how there aren't too many Southerners commenting in here? It's because most of them haven't heard of that there internet and them damn 'lectronic deeeeeevices they cawl computers yet.
Yes, I double-posted on purpose. I'm good like that.
Cause you got yerself one o’ dem new fangled computers...
Anyone who drives slower than you is an idiot. Anyone who drives faster is a maniac.
90 percent of all drivers think they are above average. it's clear what category you guys think you are in.
In my experience the corn states are pretty bad at driving...Indiana is the biggest offender, followed by Iowa, Nebraksa, Kansas, and SOUTHERN Illinois. Southwestern Virginia drivers are the worst I have ever personally witnessed though. I saw one guy towing a car with the spare tire under his truck when the tire broke free and the car ran over it and off the road into a tree. This was good weather, I can't speak for snow but I don't want to visit there again.
Hey sheepfucker! You're from Montana and you make fun of the south? That's about as ridiculous as people from Georgia and Alabama exchanging insults!
It's not just how we drive. I;m sure anyone will attest that Dallas has the best drivers in the world . . . One problem in Texas is we only get about 1/2" of snow every few years. As a result, we don't have a whole army of snowplows and deicing equipment like they do up north. so even a little snow or ice can really shut things down.
Heh. I can vouch for Doug in Cincinnati. Lived there for years before moving further north. The stores really do clear out their shelves. People do panic. It was so pathetic to witness that my family began to call snow "The White Death".
Yeah... They might insult their family
Funny thing is, is that only the "northerners" are stupid to go out into the snow down here. You can tell they're notherners by looking at their upside-down SUVs in the ditches...
Man! I wish I had content like that to illicit such a response. Except for the complete freaks that have posted here. Good lord. I think this set of comments has been the strangest cross-section of the american web-nerd underground I've ever seen.
I feel like I may have restarted the Civil War. Oops!
Davezilla, the South is gonna do it again...
Hey sheepfucker! You're from Montana and you make fun of the south? That's about as ridiculous as people from Georgia and Alabama exchanging insults!
-the fuck ever. I didn't realize you had to reach so far to find a reason to be proud of being from Detroit.
In response to the "northerners drive too slow" message... Come to northern Illinois. On the sections of I-94 with a 55mph speed limit 80mph will get you tailed in the fast lane.
Quit bitching about what we have no control over. Do you really think "bubba" called the mayor and said,"Ya'll need ta shut down them there cities cuz it snowed"? We will sit back and enjoy our free days off. So go drink pop and unsweet tea.
That is correct, Dr Baird. You fail.
K guys, for purpose of full disclosure let me say I have lived in Dearborn MI all my life, just west of Detroit. A lot of people are bragging about Detroiters driving abilities, but they fail to mention that the seem to have to re-learn them every year. First snow hits and it’s a good idea to leave for work a bit early: like three or four hours before rush hour starts. People either over-compensate and drive like snails, or drive like there is no snow at all.
89 ... er, 90 freakin. comments? who do you think you are, Wil Wheaton? :)
The real reason WizKd is so bitter is 'cuz a lady from the south was on Vaca' near where he lives and she broke his rear axle.. Southern people shouldn't breed
I might add that she broke my rear axle by hitting my car while it was parked alongside the road. She was shitfaced on Southern Comfort. I'm pretty sure all southerners are drunk behind the wheel, but she wasn't used to drinking/driving in the north where sane people live.
I got a speeding ticket in Massachusetts for going 110 in a 65. I hate state cops. Rumor has it, no speed limit in Nevada?
Sorry, chuckm, there is a speed limit in Nevada-and the cops get a little touchy when you suggest there shouldn't be.
the south lost and will continue to lose. forever. get over it.
Damn there are some rocket scientists posting here! First off, I have been in all of the states in good and bad weather and my experience has been that the idiots that run their mouths about how great they can drive in that bad weather either rarely go out once flurries fall or are so stupid that they think sliding all over the highway at 60 on ice and causing wrecks for everyone smart enough to get the hell outta their way makes them "A great driver in the snow." Obviously most of you jackasses are to stupid to actually comprehend the difference between snow...that pretty while stuff that accumulates and is easy to drive through and ice which glazes everything and renders your stupid "I can drive better than anyone cuz I know how to" asses useless. You see, the big 4X4 SUV's don't drive any better than your crappy ass Honda piece of shit on ice. Neither one drive well.
I lived north of mason dixion all
P.s.
I'm from Sweden. That's all I have to say about this discussion. Come back when you guys learn to drive....
Hmmmm. I am originally from Mount Morris, MI. I grew up driving in the dumb shit and joined the Army. The army sent me to Korea.... now, we allknow how bad Koreans drive on our roads. Consider millions of them on tniy streets where one season its a monsoon and the next its a deep freeze. SCARY! Then i got to be blessed by the great state of texas, which I beleive is half korean from all the GI's bringing em back with em( I did not). Now, Some texans can drive, some cannot. What I do know is that when the trucks throw the dirt down, DRIVE ON THE DIRT! NOT THE CLEAR TRACKS WHERE EVERYONE ELSE HAS BEEN DRIVING! THATS CALLED BLACK ICE! IF YOU FIND YOURSELF ON BLACK ICE..... DO NOT HIT THE BRAKES, DO NOT TURN YOUR WHEEL!
Dave, I think you broke a record with this one. With my two cents, you now have $2.02 -- still not enough to buy much at Starbucks, but it should warm the cockles of your heart that so many people care to share their deepest (?) thoughts with you. Too bad Fark brought a different type of contributor to this page, rather than the usual erudite citizens of Davezilla-land.
Good God!!! Dave, I've been reading your blog for about the last year and I don't remember you ever doing/saying anything that caused this much uproar. Way to go!!!
Dave - very nice. Growing up in RI and now living in Atlanta GA, I can definitely attest to the lack of "familiarity" most Southerners have with the white stuff. Usually, anything approaching 1 inch will close down work to all but the "Yankees" in the office - always good for a laugh. Still, though I can't speak for Detroit, I must admit in my experience, most New Yorkers and New Jerseyites don't know how to drive in the snow either. Ever seen 3 inches of snow on the turnpike during rush-hour? Not pretty.
You guys really need to get a life.
i gotta comment on all this insightful, self-professed knowledge of the south, and all things southern.
what the hell is a grrl learn how to talk damn southerners
For the record, here in Florida, the further south you go, the more northerners you'll find (except for the Latin Americans, but that's not part of this discussion). If it ever did snow here in the Fort Lauderdale area again (as it did in 1977), most of us would know exactly how to handle it. And if you northerners think so badly of us in Florida, why don't you just stay at home every winter and keep our streets safer, and our restaurants uncrowded?
All you need to know is if you weren't born with the ablity to drive in the snow is to stay off the road.
Florida is not part of the south. Really, it isn't. Well, maybe north Florida is. We don't have the slack-jawed yokel per capita to be qualified as the south. You know what? I live in Florida so I don't have to drive in the snow that often. A lot of people suck ass at driving around here. Luckily, whenever I suck ass at driving, the people around me compensate.
isol8d, you are 100% correct on all counts.
Dave, just one question: How are you gonna top THIS blog topic? In all the time I've been reading your site, I've never seen such anger, such fury, such stupidity, such controversy! Woo-hoo!
Us Southern Californians know how to deal with snow and hurricanes and all that!!! DONT FUCKING LIVE NEAR THEM!!!! Plus Californians are the best drivers anyway!! You guys can drive on snow sure....but can you drive while talking on two cellphones while trying to balance your double-foam triple tri-chai latte on your lap, and put on makeup at the same time? ....hmmm ....didn't think so!
Hey Matilda, are the norwegions
I've lived in Atlanta most of my life. I've seen all these damn yankees move into this once moderate city and build all these houses in the suburbs 40 minutes outside of town. I've seen you with your 2 cars and 3 kids. I've seen the schools double in size and the highways go from 2 lanes to 8. I've seen the office buildings multiply and the economy grow. I've watched the house I grew up in more than quadruple in value. I've heard the success stories of the old and the new. There must be a reason for all this growth and expansion. Why is everybody moving to the south? Is it because of the weather? The quality of life? Maybe they want a nice yard with grass that they can mow. Is it because the North is just that bad. Or is it because the south is just that damn good? Maybe it's a little of both. Tell you what.... you yanks teach us how to drive in the snow, which is useful 2 days a year in Atlanta, and we will teach you a little bit about southern hospitality, which is useful all year round. It's nice to walk into a Grocery store and not have to ask for assistance. It's nice when the person standing behind you at the gas station flips you a nickel so that you don't have to break another dollar. It's nice when the person in the car next to you lets you in front of them so that you can make a right turn. I enjoy these things. If that makes me a redneck, so be it. While you yanks brush up on your skills driving in the snow, you can find me on the Golf Course, at the park, on the Lake, or on my porch cooking some steaks and drinking a cold Beer. True, I may not be able to drive in the snow. There is a reason for this...... The more I learn, the less I want to know.... Let's get back to the good stuff. Later ya'll!
that happens in wv to jb and i don't consider us southern,
that happens in wv too jb and i don't consider us southern,
Pure wisconsinite here. I can attest to most people, that yes, we have to relearn winter driving. I can vouch for it, so can anyone else who isn't a total arsehole. Now, there's also a difference, when we learn how to drive in the winter, we know for the winter. plus we dont have to totally relearn how to drive, because it's just the fact that we're used to driving 55/60 on the highways for 7+months in the year, and the remaning months we have to drive 45/50 when it's snowing.... I too laugh at the southern states who have to shut down, but then also, i can undertstnad why they need to.. cuz they dont have plows. ya, they got "biggie-mud-tirez" but that doesn't help at all during the winter.
my 1989 ford tempo with a 2.4L 4-cyl engine has never been stuck in the snow. i live in the middle of indiana and i've been driving the little guy for 3 years. 147,000 miles and still pushing. and i've found that even people in indiana, where the temperature can fluctuate 60 degrees in 12 hours, still freak out and hoard milk when theres a little snow coming. it's been my experience that people everywhere are stupid, be they northerners or southerners.
My oh my, Dave. What a long comment you have.
That’s what all the ladies say Mel.
Here in Syracuse we had 195 inches of snow last year. Only 5 inches so far this year though :(
hey andrew, its heading for Georga, Sorry.
Dave, what a hoot!
He said. She said. There’s 123 Comments
Larfus :: 03 January, 2002 02:55 PM
Also wanted to add that I enjoy reading your blog!!
MishMish :: 03 January, 2002 04:30 PM
Jon :: 03 January, 2002 04:35 PM
Unfortunately, I live in a "border" state - notherners think we're southerners, and southerners think the other way. So we get a mix of both here. But I can see your point - most of the redneck idiots are what you would consider the "southerners" - and there's plenty of 'em here.
Point is, the thing cracked me up. I wonder if I can turn this into a bumper sticker, and start affixing them to vehicles in the dead of night to cover all the "Stars and Bars" I see...hmm...
Shelly :: 03 January, 2002 04:54 PM
JoeShmoe :: 03 January, 2002 05:04 PM
new york state. speed limit: 55. people driving: 55. (assuming traffic isnt standing still)
florida. speed limit: 70. People driving: 85 (assuming cops around, 90 with no cops)
freakster :: 03 January, 2002 05:12 PM
- Greatings from sunny South Dakota.
ds :: 03 January, 2002 05:17 PM
ds :: 03 January, 2002 05:23 PM
I agree with the speed limits though freakster, I miss I-95 in the carolinas...
Yank :: 03 January, 2002 05:25 PM
A New Yorker :: 03 January, 2002 05:25 PM
http://www.bestplaces.net/html/climateus1.asp
Jim :: 03 January, 2002 05:27 PM
Yank :: 03 January, 2002 05:30 PM
Tim :: 03 January, 2002 05:36 PM
AllYourBase :: 03 January, 2002 05:37 PM
Down here in Florida, we don't get much snow. As a matter of fact we ignore it if we do. We also don't slow down for it. We view speed limit signs as a curtesy not a obligation. If the concept of safe driving at 90 mph is beyond your comprehension, do use all a favor and stay off the road. Because it is only unsafe once one of you snowbirds hits the highway. Doing the on ramp at 30 mph is hazardous to the rest of us who know the minimum launch speed is 70 mph. Do not leave your blimker on for 20 miles, We want to get around your slow poke left lane driving blue haired ass. And it seems like the sudden we do you decide to get polite and suddenly switch lanes. Snow smow, we get rain lots of it. We drive around in catergory 5 hurricanes, that means don't park your butt in the middle of the highway during a drizzle. Parking constitutes moving less then 60 mph. Construction on the highway is a fact of life we move through construction zones at high speeds to test our hand eye cordination and ablity to manuver a vehicle during a alien invasion ( they got them lazer thingies). Do not slow down to 25 mph in these areas. The workers live here they know how well we can handle these areas. And finally if you do have to drive down here keep it to a minimum, much like your staying time, and take a canoke or 2 back with when you leave.
Southern Man :: 03 January, 2002 05:41 PM
mlcurtis69 :: 03 January, 2002 05:42 PM
mlcurtis69 :: 03 January, 2002 05:43 PM
ari :: 03 January, 2002 05:44 PM
One thing I really tired of is wiping the spittle off the inside of my windsield - it tends to splatter as I scream at the dumb hicks driving like morons in the snow.
On the subject of blinkers: If you see a car in driven by a southerner with the blinker on you can rest assured that it was on when they bought the car.
Rootman :: 03 January, 2002 05:45 PM
John :: 03 January, 2002 05:47 PM
I'm aggressive and safe about it, but man, it's like watching a car crash derby down there... =)
Yank :: 03 January, 2002 05:51 PM
Amy :: 03 January, 2002 05:59 PM
Straight Outta Pennsylvania :: 03 January, 2002 06:00 PM
Amy :: 03 January, 2002 06:02 PM
Amy :: 03 January, 2002 06:09 PM
...And yes, snowbirds on *my* roads just need to pass on into the next life. Luckily most of my driving time is during hours of the day when old people are asleep (between 4pm and 5 am) ;)
broccoli! :: 03 January, 2002 06:09 PM
True, we do not get Florida’s hurricanes, but our tornadoes more than make up for that.
The Motor City also beats all your collective asses in its ridiculous murder rate.
Driving in the D? Equally scary. Our highway speed limit is posted at 75mph so that we’ll contain ourselves to 90. Nearly every person I have ever met in this area has a story about exceeding 100mph at some point “just to see if my car could handle it.”
Davezilla :: 03 January, 2002 06:13 PM
Baghead :: 03 January, 2002 06:15 PM
Now that engines are all fuel-injected, what you young 'uns will never know is the adventure of trying to start a car at twenty below by taking off the air filter (and dropping the wing nut down into the engine recesses because your hands are numb), propping open the hinged flange-thingy on top of the carburetor with a pencil, and soaking the carburetor innards with a good shot of that incredibly flammable solvent stuff, just to loosen things up. Ahh, those were the days...
KAJones :: 03 January, 2002 06:22 PM
destructicon :: 03 January, 2002 06:25 PM
kd :: 03 January, 2002 06:28 PM
Davezilla :: 03 January, 2002 06:34 PM
ChainBlue :: 03 January, 2002 06:35 PM
michele :: 03 January, 2002 06:39 PM
Davezilla :: 03 January, 2002 06:43 PM
Squid :: 03 January, 2002 06:47 PM
Davezilla :: 03 January, 2002 06:51 PM
"Anyone who drives slower than you is a moron, and anyone driving faster than you is a fucking IDIOT"
Yharr :: 03 January, 2002 06:53 PM
Randy from ohio :: 03 January, 2002 07:02 PM
gc :: 03 January, 2002 07:06 PM
Love the humorous comments, though!
Stalag17 :: 03 January, 2002 07:10 PM
Amy :: 03 January, 2002 07:11 PM
kanaki :: 03 January, 2002 07:17 PM
Slappy White :: 03 January, 2002 07:20 PM
Nothing beats the winter I lived in the upper peninsula of MI though...that's just insane amounts of snow and no one stopping for anything.
Jeremiah :: 03 January, 2002 07:24 PM
My favorite Upper Penninsula joke is about two cars getting into an accident up there, which is funny cause both the cars up there are rarely on the road at the same time.
Davezilla :: 03 January, 2002 07:34 PM
Drew :: 03 January, 2002 07:37 PM
Stalag17 :: 03 January, 2002 07:41 PM
scott :: 03 January, 2002 07:41 PM
scott again :: 03 January, 2002 07:45 PM
freakster :: 03 January, 2002 07:49 PM
florida not only has hurricanes, we have tornados, flooding, and we (tampa) are the lightning capital of the world, meaning scared-shitless norhterner drivers who cry cause their wipers wont go fast enough
we also receive as much rain as some northern states receive snow (thats 10x the precipitation)
freakst :: 03 January, 2002 07:54 PM
"hold my beer and watch this!"
mbw :: 03 January, 2002 07:54 PM
freakster :: 03 January, 2002 07:55 PM
The only thing people in Florida should be driving is the nails into their coffins. All the geriatrics down there couldn't drive their shit into the toilet properly much less a car. Speed limit in Florida is 65 too bad all the fucking mummies can only drive 10. Anyone from Florida tells you they've been above 25 mph they're a fucking liar. 65 to a Floridian might as well be Lightspeed, because they'll never be able to reach it!!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHH!!
P.S. Your oranges suck too!!!!!!!
fogey :: 03 January, 2002 07:55 PM
Michael :: 03 January, 2002 08:03 PM
americans suck :: 03 January, 2002 08:06 PM
So yes, all those southerners should stay at home when it snows. But it isn't their fault.
Northern Boy :: 03 January, 2002 08:09 PM
Davezilla :: 03 January, 2002 08:11 PM
hello to Alaska, the only state that truly understands.
great white north :: 03 January, 2002 08:21 PM
captaintony :: 03 January, 2002 08:36 PM
i live in the south (florida) i've driven in the north (vermont, snow/ice) with high-performance tires
its not that big a deal, except for remembering to use your parking brake. hehe hehe. and im not old, either, 17. _I_ do 85 on the highway, and ive never gotten a ticket (verbal warning for 47 in a 30)
freakster :: 03 January, 2002 08:43 PM
Davezilla :: 03 January, 2002 08:43 PM
Sure, go ahead and laugh. I'll admit that I'm a wuss when it comes to snow, tornados, hurricanes or whatever. I told this story to a friend of mine who recently moved here from Chicago, and he started laughing so hard I thought he was going to explode. But then a few months later our area experienced a tiny, mild earthquake and I had to spend an hour convincing him that the building was not about to collapse. It's all about what you are used to dealing with ;)
fruitcake :: 03 January, 2002 08:45 PM
That's 'cause we don't have to chase farm animals when we want to get laid.
Yeah, right :: 03 January, 2002 08:48 PM
John the flying saturn :: 03 January, 2002 08:56 PM
but it's no good when it's time to whoa.
Why are there so many sport-utes in the center medians?
Chipshot :: 03 January, 2002 09:08 PM
Doug :: 03 January, 2002 09:11 PM
I've been to every state in the U.S. in the winter. I was in the military and in Enterprise, Alabama for a year. I grew up in Montana. Let me tell you, Southerners can't drive worth shit. Nobody else can either, including in Montana.
wizkd :: 03 January, 2002 09:16 PM
I've been to every state in the U.S. in the winter. I was in the military and in Enterprise, Alabama for a year. I grew up in Montana. Let me tell you, Southerners can't drive worth shit. Nobody else can either, including in Montana.
wizkd :: 03 January, 2002 09:16 PM
wizkd :: 03 January, 2002 09:18 PM
Davezilla :: 03 January, 2002 09:37 PM
Avrom :: 03 January, 2002 10:01 PM
give it a name... :: 03 January, 2002 10:14 PM
Jeremiah :: 03 January, 2002 10:14 PM
Jojo Lunchbox :: 03 January, 2002 10:29 PM
Charles :: 03 January, 2002 10:41 PM
Shark :: 03 January, 2002 10:42 PM
Why Shouldeye :: 03 January, 2002 10:47 PM
deez :: 03 January, 2002 10:57 PM
chunkbot :: 03 January, 2002 11:24 PM
Davezilla :: 03 January, 2002 11:24 PM
...whatever it is they did the first time, anyways
Marmot :: 03 January, 2002 11:35 PM
Jojo Lunchbox :: 03 January, 2002 10:29 PM
Montana Is on the CANADIAN Border, while Alabama Is on the Gulf OF MEXICO, I fail to see the connection.
FARK Rules
Dr Baird :: 03 January, 2002 11:39 PM
chris :: 03 January, 2002 11:44 PM
Nimbokwezer :: 03 January, 2002 11:55 PM
yankees suck :: 03 January, 2002 11:58 PM
Jojo Lunchbox :: 04 January, 2002 12:04 AM
Secondly, if you live in MI, and you buy a truck/SUV, GET 4WHEEL YOU DUMB F**K! Your rear wheel drive Ford Exploder is not going to do jack in the snow. 70/30 weight distribution and your driving with the wheels under the 30! On top of that, when you get your new all wheel drive Lexus SUV it ain’t going to stop faster just because you have AWD. I used to drive a 86 Ford LTD and I did better than most people on the road. Its called stopping distance folks. If you leave room in front an stop slow you’ll be fine.
In short, it don’t matter what you drive or where your from, if you can’t handle the snow, stay home and order a farking pizza.
Fark Rules!
Vampiel :: 04 January, 2002 12:12 AM
kd :: 04 January, 2002 12:18 AM
Totalogic :: 04 January, 2002 12:29 AM
wizkd :: 04 January, 2002 12:32 AM
chuckm :: 04 January, 2002 01:27 AM
Speaking of Nevada, I live in SoCal in the Mojave desert on the way to Vegas, I-15. And everyone with their "I did 100 once!" makes me laugh. The current record is my buddy in an Acura Integra getting from his bro's house Vegas to home (around 215 miles) in about 1 hr 45 min, you do the math. A few tips for all those from LA who travel the 15 to Vegas: there is one (that's right one) highway patrolman from Barstow to the Nevada border, unless it's a weekend or a holiday. So if you see him , you won't see another till the border. It gets hot in the desert, like 115 degrees, try checking your antifreeze before you leave because it can be 75 miles between services and no one is going to stop for you. And oh yeah, travelling at 95 with a fifth wheel isn't a good idea, every few months one of you turn yourselves and your entire families into stains on the highway, I've seen one go over right in front of me. Have fun!
P.S. Fark does rule
speedkills :: 04 January, 2002 02:50 AM
dweis bu-er :: 04 January, 2002 03:17 AM
Oh...and so your dumbasses understand, the south gets ICE!!! The ice that those of us from the North grew up skating on, the south gets to drive on. If they get snow, its because it fell on top of a layer of ice! The snow that you fools are babbling about being so adept at driving through was on top of a one inch layer of ice. That would be a good reason why those in the south struggle. Snow is easy for any moron to drive through. I mean look at the morons from places that you've mentioned like Michigan. Damn...more inbreeding takes place there than anywhere else in the country.
As far as the heat in the south...it gets damn hot here. It gets damn hot for the people that are from here. They are just smart enough to stay inside when it gets that hot in front of an AC, versus the ignorant pukes from the upper midwest and Canada who are at Disney World in August, keeling over from heatstroke because its 95 degrees and 99 percent humidity. Just cuz you can't make enough money in your shitty job to take vacations during peak season when intelligent people go out in the south and away from the AC's, don't bitch about it.
Driving speeds...everyone east of Kansas should shut the hell up. There is too much traffic ANYWHERE east of Kansas to even consider actually speeding and that traffic is full of damn fools who have that "To hell with that oncoming car that is going 40 mph faster than me cuz this road was built just for my dumbass"! North/South Dakota and parts of Arizona/Utah are the best for speed...no people, no cars!
And Floridians...they should not speak until spoken too...ever! Call me when you actually find someone in that scumhole state that isn't bred to an illegal immigrant. Then you may speak. But until then, get your illegal ass or your old ass back to the earlybird special buffet and shut up! Driving ast in Florida...yeah, because all your cars are crap that you bought from a smart Yankee who sold you his beatup Jersey clumker for twice what he paid for it and now you're just pissed cuz you know you paid twice what the car was worth AND did it with half the salary because you are competeing with Hector from Cuba who will work for three grains of rice and a pack a smokes an hour!
LOL...L-O-S-E-R-S
BiteMyAss :: 04 January, 2002 06:34 AM
my life, thank God, thats north,
see General Lee's lesson on heading
north. And we laugh our ass off
and fall off our ice blocks when
we see our sourthern neighbors
enjoy the snow we live with
sometimes six months AND cold.
ENJOY!
carolus :: 04 January, 2002 08:19 AM
Hey sheepfucker! Is it true you
finally got a speed limit in
montana?
carolus :: 04 January, 2002 08:54 AM
Matilda :: 04 January, 2002 08:56 AM
does everyone understand this? Also.... Texas roads are oily for some reason...... LOL
Slim_Pickens :: 04 January, 2002 09:22 AM
leslier :: 04 January, 2002 09:51 AM
Regarding people's ability to drive in various types of weather. I've lived in the midwest, including all states between North Dakota all the way down to Texas, as well as California (Bay Area) and Florida (Orlando/Jacksonville), and nobody can drive anywhere they are and that includes me.
No matter where you live, if you claim to be a good driver in any type of weather, chances are you aren't.
So, shut up all of you and argue about something more worthwhile.
Jon :: 04 January, 2002 09:55 AM
Ceedee :: 04 January, 2002 10:07 AM
Florida Cracker :: 04 January, 2002 10:15 AM
yeah. a foot of snow here does make driving difficult. so what? because we live in a generally humane climate? we have the luxury of NOT having to own snowplows and the like. novel concept, huh?
as for the lack of southerners posting here? gee, i dunno. maybe we're all having too much fun being snowed in? (we do that here) me? i spent my day baking a ham, shoveling my driveway, showing my son how to make snowballs? you know the traditional "ahm snowed in" southern stuff? oh yeah, i exercised my "southern technical ignorance", by flashing a bios, compiling a couple of *nix progs, and now i'm working online with a friend, trying to force a beta *nix OS into running a primary SCSI CD under IDE emulation software... you know? the regular?
as for driving in the snow? i find it amusing... especially 360s in empty parking lots...
so i hate to blow all these great theories... ya'll seemed so confident. here in the south? we have a saying? "dumb like a fox" . think about it.
oh, and just for the record? i'm a grrl. no... make that a southern grrl.
suzy_snowflake :: 04 January, 2002 10:16 AM
Syphon :: 04 January, 2002 10:20 AM
leslier :: 04 January, 2002 10:43 AM
I am not talking about some little 1 foot Dulth snow. I am talking about middle of nowhere Canada lose your truck in the 10 foot snowbank kinda snow.
You don't even know what winter is.
Some Canadian :: 04 January, 2002 11:01 AM
Davezilla: Great blog topic here. Thanks for the tips. You must truly live in "God's City"
Fark rules.
isol8d :: 04 January, 2002 11:18 AM
leslier :: 04 January, 2002 11:25 AM
leslier :: 04 January, 2002 11:49 AM
P.S. Florida: Your oranges still suck!!!
fogey :: 04 January, 2002 12:15 PM
bad drivers? My wife is from
norwegions and she could not drive
around the block without my pointing where to go or saying,
left,left left left! Just curious.
carolus :: 04 January, 2002 12:17 PM
JB :: 04 January, 2002 12:18 PM
ps if you was in the right lane to begin with no would have to let you in front of them :-P
Syphon :: 04 January, 2002 12:34 PM
ps if you was in the right lane to begin with no would have to let you in front of them :-P
Syphon :: 04 January, 2002 12:34 PM
It's WI, and there's a light dusting of snow on our lawn. I can still see the lawn. it's just wrong!
Starblazer :: 04 January, 2002 01:34 PM
ransack :: 04 January, 2002 03:05 PM
Mel :: 04 January, 2002 03:47 PM
Davezilla :: 04 January, 2002 06:58 PM
I suppose there must be a blizzard building up somewhere for us...
andrew :: 04 January, 2002 11:58 PM
vampiel :: 05 January, 2002 02:01 AM
I have had to good fortune to travel all over this wonderful country by all means of transportation mode. I consider myself southern (Savannah, GA) but lived in NJ, SC, FL and visit regularly in VT, MASS, CA. I have driven in blizzards in New England, on the NJ Turnpike, I95/I85 corridor in Va and NC. I have driven into Stowe VT when all the roads were closed and shown policemen on Georgia how to recover from spins (360)on the ice in the parking lot.
My two cents:
1. If you want to learn how to drive on the snow & ice, do it in a VW Beetle (the real ones, not the recent wannabe).
2. For southern CA - at least with the big hurricane I KNOW WHEN THE BIG ONE IS COMING and can decide to bug out or not. Which side of the fault are you?
Enjoyed the read.
dockside :: 05 January, 2002 10:39 AM
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