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November 15, 2001 :: "Cinnamon brick"
I’m not a gambling man, but I rarely turn down a dare. This got me into a lot of trouble in high school.
In tenth grade my friend Clark brought in a vial of essential cinnamon oil. He dared several of us to gulp the entire vial. In an ominous tone, Clark informed us that, “One drop is strong enough to make over 40 sticks of gum,” as if that were somehow a frightening statistic to a 16-year-old.
I chimed in with, “How much will ya give me?” Ten dollar bills started slamming down into my palm, With $70 in hand, I was there. “How could this be a bad dare?” I thought. “Cinnamon is good.”
I slammed it down with the confidence of a seasoned drunk. The taste was overwhelming, but not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I expected a burning sensation in my throat and there really wasn’t any.
Later during my British Literature class, I realized that I had a 17" cinnamon brick in my stomach. Heavy too. It wasn’t moving, growling or demanding attention. It was merely there. I got scared and asked to be excused and went to the men’s room.
But nothing happened. Just that brick-in-the-Dave feeling. I’m certain I punched a hole in my stomach lining. Clark was stunned. Not only did I win the dare, but I wasn’t dead yet. He wanted to hear me screaming in the bathroom.
Later that day, Lisa K, a pretty, blonde girl I had a crush on, leaned in close to me to whisper a secret in my ear. She happened to be chewing gum. Cinnamon gum. I think you can pretty much guess the rest.
Just one question... Was the pretty Lisa K in the splatter zone, thus crushing any hopes of the young 'zillas thoughts of a nubile blond conquest?
Her hair was the splatter zone. It was ungood.
I think that falls into the realm of Double-Plus-Ungood, Dave.
Well... Uh, at least her hair smelled nice afterwards.
i am going there. that would have been the nicest smelling puddle ever. i am sure the entire bottle would have overwhelmed even the most ghastly of your other stomach contents.
I have never heard anything that more deserved to be in Pathetic Geek Stories. That's just brilliant.
The saddest part was, she didn’t even wince. She just looked at her hair and a tear rolled down her cheek. I felt even worse.
See, if she had still gone out with you after that incident, you would have had a cool girlfriend on your hands.
OMG, that's funny! hehe...I mean, how sad. ;) Hey, at least you got 70 bucks. *smiles*
He said. She said. There’s 9 Comments
Mike Kares :: 15 November, 2001 11:18 AM
Davezilla :: 15 November, 2001 11:34 AM
chunkbot :: 15 November, 2001 11:50 AM
Oh god, I can't believe I went there. I am sick.
GeekMan :: 15 November, 2001 12:01 PM
p.s. i was dared to post that ;)
tbit :: 15 November, 2001 01:54 PM
Phineas :: 15 November, 2001 02:24 PM
Davezilla :: 15 November, 2001 02:54 PM
Charles :: 16 November, 2001 12:26 AM
Kira :: 16 November, 2001 06:18 PM
All material is ©2001 Dave Linabury. All rights reserved.