davezilla.com > current: October 11, 2001: "No naked clowns today. I promise."

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October 11, 2001 :: "No naked clowns today. I promise."

But there has been a rash [’scuse the pun] of stories involving underwear and unmentionables lately. Enjoy!

Wonderbum Tights
Ass-shaping tights for women. “These tights help to lift up the bum and allow the cheeks to express themselves.” That sounds absolutely frightening. And they look like they would leave some funny red rings on your posterior.
Link via Brainsluice

Underpants Fail to Mask Robber's Identity
A drunken Norwegian who pulled a pair of underpants over his face and robbed a post office was awakened by police two days later to find he had tipped them off about his identity. His wife’s name and personal details were on the back of the demand note, the newspaper said. You had me at “A drunken Norwegian...”

Odor-eating underwear
Buck Weimer of Pueblo, Colorado, claimed a biology prize for inventing “Under-Ease,”' an air-tight undergarment complete with a charcoal insert that traps gasses before they can escape. God help us.

Scrotum-biter to take anger management classes
A New Zealand man who bit a bridegroom in the scrotum has been ordered to take anger management lessons. How about getting his head examined?

Man survives crash then dies taking a pee
A New Zealand [What’s wrong with New Zealand men this week?] student survived a car crash, only to die a short time later when he answered a call of nature. He lost his footing while attempting to pee too close to the edge. I think maybe he – forget it. Too easy.

Jilted man cuts off own penis
A dumped boyfriend is in hospital after hacking off his own penis with a knife. He cut it off after learning his girlfriend had married someone else. There is no mention as to whether he put the member in a fruit juice bottle or not.

He said. She said. There’s 13 Comments

You forgot to mention Green Eggs and Ham boxers from WebUndies.com. There is just something so wrong about green eggs and ham on your underwear....well, we won't go there.

Also in the "this is so wrong" underwear dept. I saw this on anil dash a while back. Manties .
Brad :: 11 October, 2001 01:07 AM

Yaaaauuughhhh! Those are wrong for so many reasons. [shudders]
Davezilla :: 11 October, 2001 08:13 AM

scrotum biter? that's one of those headlines you hope you never have to read.
pike street :: 11 October, 2001 08:29 AM

As for the ass shaping hosery.. let's just say I like to keep my ass as silent as possible.
Lana :: 11 October, 2001 09:01 AM

i agree with Lana on the hose. whoog. i think what creeped me out was the "allows the cheeks to express themselves". the day i begin to see my ass as an entity unto itself and worry about it's self expression... and as for the druken Norwegian? living in a community rife with them sadly i have to say it's not far off the mark.
jocelyn :: 11 October, 2001 09:53 AM

I’ll buy that Jocelyn. But wearing underwear on the head? Do they do that frequently i Wisconsin? [Besides you I mean.] ;^p
Davezilla :: 11 October, 2001 10:12 AM

i have to where them *somewhere*
jocelyn :: 11 October, 2001 10:13 AM

I think I speak for most men when I say that more women need to think like you Jocelyn.
Davezilla :: 11 October, 2001 12:50 PM

well, at least it's just the drunk norwegian in me. you should see what the drunk irish in me does with underclothing.
jocelyn :: 11 October, 2001 01:18 PM

Let me get the camera focused... hold still.
Davezilla :: 11 October, 2001 03:56 PM

Guess you did not read about the surgeon who farted in the OR and two of the circulating staff got "necrotizing fasciitis"...they would have been safe had he worn that gas trapper contraption. True story.
othercheek :: 11 October, 2001 07:05 PM

That *would* be a good time to "turn the other cheek". Smoochie-boochies!
Jon :: 12 October, 2001 11:17 AM