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September 21, 2001 :: "Gross mangling of computer terms #2"
I’ve heard so many misuses of common tech terms lately that I cannot hold it back any longer. The part I find most frustrating? Many of these originate from people who are themselves, competent computer users.
Lazy.
All of these are real. All of them I heard in person, on the phone, or are questions asked of me through email.
Using proper names as verbs
He said. She said. There’s 17 Comments
If the phrases are being abused, might as well enjoy them. Instead of "you rock my world", you could use "you break my Internet"!
Using a computer program as a verb could be embarassing if it were a porn program. "Could you LickMe2 that file to me?"
By Jon :: September 21, 2001 03:07 PM EST
Personally, a term that I've become fond of over the years is pebkac, a term that has been used to describe many a hapless computer user, from the novice to (in their eyes only) expert levels. The term is an acronym for problem exists between keyboard and chair.
By Mike Kares :: September 21, 2001 03:30 PM EST
Yup. I’ve devoted many blogs to PEBCAK> Also to the ID10T error [idiot]
By Davezilla :: September 21, 2001 03:41 PM EST
All of which are usually solved by the RUTOK test (Replaced User, Tested OK)
By pixeldiva :: September 21, 2001 03:44 PM EST
I'll be happy if users just get the terms "download" and "install" correct. Not a day goes by that I don't hear someone say they downloaded a program from their CD.
By led :: September 21, 2001 04:48 PM EST
So I see you have all had to deal with my mother at some point. I'm sorry.
By michele :: September 21, 2001 05:44 PM EST
1) Yes, yes. I also love it when I ask a client to send me their logo or artwork, and they send it to me in a Word file...gee...thanks. Could I please just have the .tif, .bmp, .eps please?
2) Better yet, they tell you that you can, "just pull the logo from their website" (at 72dpi).
3) Don't even get me started on Email Attachments 101
By Brad :: September 21, 2001 06:04 PM EST
"just pull the logo from their website"
AAAAAAAAGH THE NIGHTMARES ARE COMING BACK
By Todd :: September 21, 2001 06:16 PM EST
Oh no, you don't know true horror until you're told to make a website and "just take the photos and text from the brochure".
The brochure being half postcard size, folded in half, and was printed in, oh... at a rough guess... 1972 and has been used as a hanky, floormop, flyswat and heck knows what else in the meantime.
Oh yeah, and these (2 or 3) photos are typically approximately an inch and a half on the longest side.
Oh yeah, and then there's the text. All two paragraphs of it.
Sure thing! Just hang on and I'll wave my magic wand!
Bitter? moi?
By pixeldiva :: September 21, 2001 07:03 PM EST
Oh god! I just had my supervisor send me a composition he made of how he wants the website to look. "I photoshopped this up for you" and when I looked at it, I realized he must have stolen ALL of the graphics from other sites. "I can't do that," I say, and explain that if he wants a photo like that, they can 1) hire a professional photographer, 2) pay for stock photos. "We don't have the money for that. Just make do with what we have." What do we have? Nothing.
By chunkbot :: September 21, 2001 07:11 PM EST
to the graphics designer: "you only gave one rounded corner graphic for this website. i need four."
graphics designer: "can't you just rotate the graphic in HTML?"
me: *longpause* I'm going on my lunch break.
By ernie :: September 21, 2001 08:13 PM EST
(Sigh) I just had a client tell me she wanted the blueline faxed to her.... This is the same person who complained she couldn't use Word to open the newsletter layout I had done for her in PageMaker. (Quark? Now you're talking about nucular physics, boy)
"Office" is just another word for "computer," isn't it?
By Pat :: September 21, 2001 11:08 PM EST
Note to self: 1. Assume everyone are idiots or morons. 2. Drink large quantity of coffee or caffinated substances (except carbonated beverages). 3. "I am not sure, but I can try..." will be the best answer to avoid work completely, because your boss is not going to remember it either.
By tian :: September 22, 2001 05:37 AM EST
I don't know, "photoshopped" is in pretty common use now. And my cousins call Adobe PhotoDeluxe "Adobe."
I love the "I may have broken my Internet" though I have one better. Some guy came into the computer lab at the Grand Haven library to look for info on something on the Internet. Failing to find it, he went to another computer. It was like... I couldn't find it on that Internet, maybe I'll try this Internet over here.
By Dagny :: September 22, 2001 12:27 PM EST
Exactly! That computer has a different version of the Internet. Like the one those foreign students use. It comes in different languages.
By Davezilla :: September 22, 2001 12:59 PM EST
I feel your pain. I work for an internet company...some customers can be very very dumb. but I won't go into that coz I value my recovered sanity. :)
By shel :: September 22, 2001 09:47 PM EST
Actual complaint heard at helpdesk: "My cursor's flashing" ... Q. What does your screen say? ... A. "Nothing!" ... Q. Is your computer on? ... A. "Yes, and it says [INSERT YOUR FAVORITE ERROR MESSAGE HERE]" ... Q. Let me understand, your computer is on, but the screen says nothing, but you can read [YFEM]? A. Yes! ... SOLUTION: Sound's like you have a major I/O (idiot operator) error. Turn off your computer and let it sit for about an hour so the disk drives can drain. Call me back if you have a problem.
By dave (no relation) :: September 23, 2001 02:55 PM EST
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