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August 24, 2001 :: "Wealth"

The preferred scale is one through ten, with ten being the wealthiest.

  1. Rich Bitch High-maintenance dates start out this way and only get worse. Madonna was once one.
  2. Loaded The rich uncle who lives vicariously through his nieces and nephews, smokes cigars indoors and leaves ashes in the flowerpots is usually loaded in one way or another.
  3. So F-ing Rich! Club owners and restaurateurs who feel compelled to pull up to drive-thrus in a stetch limo like to think of themselves as “so f-ing rich!”
  4. Serious Coinage The excutive VP who takes a woman to lunch in Paris in his private jet [that his wife paid for] has serious coinage.
  5. Rich Bastard People who flaunt their money for evil. Gene Simmons of KISS once bought a McDonalds so he could have the satisfaction of firing an employee he got bad service from. Only a rich bastard can do this.
  6. Mega-Fuckin’ Wealthy Dot-com billionaires who somehow escaped losing their shirts. Steve Jobs and Larry Ellis spring to mind.
  7. Zillionaire “My name is Elmer J. Fudd. I own a mansion and a yacht.”
  8. Katrillionaire Superstars who make ridiculous sums of money just to show up like Madonna, Oprah, Paul McCartney and Jakob Nielsen.
  9. Bajillionaire The members of the Bilderbergers, Illuminati, Rockefellers, Tri-Lateral Commission, Rothschilds, Davos and every other conspiracy group that are pulling our puppet strings from behind the scenes.
  10. More Money than God Only Bill Gates can claim this title.



He said. She said. There’s 7 Comments
Why is wealth equated to "large amounts"? What about small amounts of wealth? Things like "pittance" "squat" "and "in hock up to the elbows"? By Kevin :: August 24, 2001 01:46 AM EST
Because, Kevin, small amounts denote a distinct lack of wealth. By Davezilla :: August 24, 2001 09:10 AM EST
I loved the Jakob Nielsen comment :)! By allan :: August 24, 2001 09:50 AM EST
may i propose a #11? 11. Me, you biatch! I own your @ss! By bakiwop :: August 24, 2001 11:21 AM EST
#12: Bling Bling; the standard by which all of today's rappers measure their wealth. As in "I'm so bling bling I wear twice my weight in gold. Teeth." By michele :: August 24, 2001 12:07 PM EST
There’s also ducats. This may be a Detroit phenom but I hear kids saying, “Bee-yotch got hisself ducats and shit.” By Davezilla :: August 24, 2001 01:54 PM EST
A ducat is only about 1.5 inches around. So, I would think it would fall very low on the list. By allan :: August 25, 2001 01:16 AM EST

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