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August 12, 2001 :: "What’s in a name?"

I once worked at a cemetery. They had telemarketers that would call people up during their supper and sell them graveplots and caskets. Somehow this worked and they managed to rake in several million dollars each year.

I liked collecting odd names that the telemarketers would encounter during their calls. I was cleaning out a junk drawer today and came across one of the lists of names. You may be a writer in search of unusual character names. Have at it. These are quite unique. My next AIM screen name may come from this list.

The List:
Ghouse Syed, Rudie Boss, Billy Clink, Carlon Scalf, Roland Kittendorf, Gerald Wankett, Alethal Swann, New Chin Jr., Bruno Jasevicius, Germaine Prybys, Prudence Yochim, Delvin Cadilac, Eon Morgan, Jack L. Redhead, Worth Sloan, Beverly Gearhart, Stella Blatt, Nicholas Nichols, I. Shotwell, Noble Culp, Jack Santa, Cecil Moix, Ida Posmuga, Kayo Robbins, Cleo Zang, Dick Clingenpeel, Merlin Engeldinger, Cassandra Feijoo, Albert Felstermacher, Christ Geoga, Valam Grossbauer, William Mothersell, Anton Openpeyn, Zorco Petrovicci, Floyd B. Quackenbush, Dick Reising and Lola Yoho.

He said. She said. There’s 22 Comments

Is there an Old Chin, Sr.? By Jon :: August 13, 2001 12:45 AM EST

your "next" screen name?

[walking out of the door to southeast asia in half an hour...] By Tara :: August 13, 2001 01:24 AM EST

For those of you contemplating making a porn movie: may I suggest Dick Reising as your star's name? Dick Clingenpeel could be the name of they guy who removes the condoms after the scene is shot. Then there's always Mr. Chin. Okay, so it's gay porn. Gotta make a living somehow. By michele :: August 13, 2001 07:30 AM EST

A friend of mine encountered three Mr. Faggots during his stint as a telemarketer. One of them lived on Gaylord Street, in a town called Butte. By Brenda :: August 13, 2001 12:05 PM EST

i know a 65 year old woman named honey squirt. By bobthecorgi :: August 13, 2001 12:59 PM EST

Having had a few jobs in membership organizations, I've come across a number of last names that begged to be changed: Longbottom, Butts, and many others along the same lines that I've unfortunately forgotten.

We also had a couple whose last name was Taylor. His first name was John Wayne. Hers was Mona Lisa. By Kristin :: August 13, 2001 01:17 PM EST

A friend of mine had an aunt who married into the Merry family. Her first name was Mary.

Other unfortunate last names: Hoare (mainly when spoken aloud), Slutsky, Doody.

Ironic surnames? My dentist is called Dr. Sugarman. By Natalie :: August 13, 2001 05:51 PM EST

I personally know a girl named April May June. By michele :: August 13, 2001 06:27 PM EST

My mother knew a woman named Fémâlé. No, that is not a pretty African name. Her mother was semi-literate and thought the hospital named her on the birth certificate. [Read it again minus the accent marks.] By Davezilla :: August 13, 2001 07:20 PM EST

Well, at least there is no Chinese kid that named "Sum Ting Wong", or is there?... By Tian :: August 13, 2001 07:38 PM EST

I once worked in a cemetery - digging graves, actually. Now I was not a gravedigger. Believe it or not, gravediggers do have a union and are licensed and everything. The guy who was our gravedigger did not actually do much digging - he more like supervised us grunt workers. Apparently there is a whole set of regulations, as far as depth and moisture and placement in relation to other gravesites. I don't think it was all that complex, but the licensed gravediggers wanted to make damn sure they kept their franchise.
I've also heard of authors walking through graveyards and reading the tombstones to find character names. By Charles :: August 14, 2001 01:19 AM EST

my mum has a friend called sandra, who married a guy called tom shaw. so now she's sandy shaw. (does that work with an american accent?? sandy shore?) By kristen :: August 14, 2001 04:11 AM EST

My parents knew people named Shmencer who named their son Spencer...Spencer Shmencer.

I went to school with a guy named Tim Burr. (Timber!)

We've known a Candy Kane.

My friend works with Candy Fish. By leslier :: August 14, 2001 09:42 AM EST

Oh...I forgot one...

Two doctors I've come across...

Dick Passwater
and
Dick Finder (a urologist, no joke!!!)

I swear these are absolutely true. By leslier :: August 14, 2001 10:18 AM EST

OK you win Leslier. Those are THE BEST names ever By Davezilla :: August 14, 2001 11:14 AM EST

oh no - you didn't have the pleasure of working with Holly Goodhead - who married her co-worker Dick Ramsbottom. I swear, it's true. By hannah :: August 14, 2001 11:58 AM EST

I went to high school with a girl named Sunshine Day. Her nickname was Sunny.

Poor thing. By Upser :: August 14, 2001 12:08 PM EST

There's this guy I know, his name is Jish. How wacky is that? *ahem ahem*.

We have family friends who saw fit to give their daughters "cutesy" nicnames: It started off with Dimple, then went to Simple for the next daughter. I was unfortunate enough to pipe up during dinner one evening (the lady was then pregnant with her third child) and say "Will the next daughter be named Pimple?" We never saw them again. By JISH :: August 14, 2001 01:44 PM EST

the hell kinda name is jish? By Davezilla :: August 14, 2001 01:48 PM EST

If you say it with a French accent you get "Jeeesh". Which, as we all know, is the verb "to pee" in Persian. As in "Damn, I really need to Jeeesh". I'm so proud. By JISH :: August 14, 2001 02:12 PM EST

My sister just married into the Shaw Family, her new name is Patricia Shaw (did I stutter) and her brother in law goes by the name Rick Shaw.

I saw an ad for True Lee Love running for some city councel somewhere.

Many years ago, I had a hair dressers who's last name is Butinski (no kidding), her husband's first name is Bud

I'm sticking with Smith By Jax :: August 14, 2001 06:12 PM EST

I know a guy named "Ho Lee Chow" (sounded like "holy cow"), then my buddy Andrew told me that there is a Chinese restaurant called "Ho Lee Chow", then I found there is a Chinese restaurant chain called "Ho Lee Chow". How about that, HO LEE CHOW... By Tian :: August 14, 2001 07:33 PM EST