davezilla.com > current: July 25, 2001: "Romancing the SmarterChild"

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July 25, 2001 :: "Romancing the SmarterChild"

itsdavezilla: Hare Krishna Hare Krishna. Hare Rama Hare Rama. Hare Krishna Hare Krishna. Hare Rama Hare Rama. Krishna Krishna. Hare Hare.
SmarterChild: I seem to be having some trouble answering your questions. Try asking your question a different way.
itsdavezilla: Want a beer?
SmarterChild: None for me, thanks.
itsdavezilla: How about some crack?
SmarterChild: Some Like it Hot (1959) (NR) (runs 2:12)
Two Struggling musicians witness the St. Valentine's Day Massacre and are now on the run from the Mob. Jerry and Joe cross-dress into an all female band. In addition to hiding, each has his own problems; One falls for another band member but can't tell her his gender, and the other has a rich suitor who will not take "No," for an answer.
Would you like to see if Some Like it Hot (1959) is playing near you?
itsdavezilla: I just wanna score some acid. Dude.
SmarterChild: Sorry no. I just get off on ones and zeroes.
itsdavezilla: Haven’t you ever been kept down by The Man?
SmarterChild: Nope. Can't say that i have.
itsdavezilla: Did you just try to pinch my ass?
SmarterChild: Hey, that's a little much.
itsdavezilla: Excuse me?
SmarterChild: You're excused.
itsdavezilla: You’re not Mr. Grabby-Hands!
SmarterChild: I'm sorry, I don't know what you're saying. Try again.
itsdavezilla: Does this color make me look fat?
SmarterChild: News about DOES THIS COLOR MAKE ME provided by Reuters, © 2001
1 Asset-Backeds- Student loan deals make the grade
2 NASA Will Try Again to Land Space Shuttle
3 Illinois governor signs legislation to ban MTBE
4 Elephant Park Recycles Dung to Make Paper
>>> Next time you want news about does this color make me, all you need to do is type "news search does this color make me."
itsdavezilla: Can you reach that for me?
SmarterChild: Hmm... Not sure.
itsdavezilla: Here let me help you with those bags.
SmarterChild: I seem to be having some trouble answering your questions. Try asking for help for a specific service:
help news
help stocks
help weather
help movies
help zodiac
help all
~~~~~
shortcuts
itsdavezilla: How ever did you fit into those thigh-high latex boots?
SmarterChild: OK. Basically, you make requests and I answer. Try it! Type "more" for more basic help.
itsdavezilla: I have two fush
SmarterChild: You have two fush, I have two fush, we all have two fush.
itsdavezilla: I’m not wearing underwear...
SmarterChild: No kidding?
itsdavezilla: Are you?
SmarterChild: Am I what?
itsdavezilla: Wearing any underwear? Something ... silky perhaps?
SmarterChild: I seem to be having some trouble answering your questions. Try asking your question another way.
itsdavezilla: I looove your centerfold.
SmarterChild: You like my centerfold?
itsdavezilla: Aw yeah baby.
SmarterChild: Well, I'm not sure about that.
itsdavezilla: I didn’t know you worked out.
SmarterChild: OK. Don't get frustrated... Try typing "home" or "help."
itsdavezilla: Frustrated? You know all about it baby. It’s what you’re doing to me. Whatever it is ... keep doing it.
SmarterChild: Market Data (delayed 20 minutes) provided by Reuters
itsdavezilla: Ever try ...you know, water sports?
SmarterChild: I'm sorry, I don't know what you're saying. Try again.
itsdavezilla: Those tights must be chafing you. Take them off. Slowly.
SmarterChild: I seem to be having some trouble answering your questions. Try asking for help for a specific service:
help news
help stocks
help weather
help movies
help zodiac
help all
~~~~~
shortcuts
>>> Type "more" for more services.
itsdavezilla: More. I like the way you say that. Last night. Did we ... ?
SmarterChild: Sorry, what was that?
itsdavezilla: I was very drunk.
SmarterChild: I'm trying to understand you but I can't. Please type your request a different way.
itsdavezilla: You left your thong on my nightstand. Did you mean for me to find that? You little imp!
SmarterChild: News about YOU LEFT YOUR THONG ON MY NIGHTSTAND DID YOU MEAN FOR ME TO provided by Reuters, © 2001
1 Fighting And Mobs Threaten Macedonia Peace Hopes
2 Study Finds Brain Irregularities in Stutterers
3 Thousands Across Italy Protest Police at G8
4 Penguins Reach Deals with Moran, LaCouture
5 First Round Pick Backus Signs with Lions
>>> Next time you want news about you left your thong on my nightstand did you mean for me to, all you need to do is type "news search you left your thong on my nightstand did you mean for me to."
Type "more" to see the next set of stories.
itsdavezilla: You want me.
SmarterChild: Come again?
itsdavezilla: That’s the plan you naughty monkey...

He said. She said. There’s 6 Comments

Oh no... someone didn't at all have too much time on his hands...

:) By pixeldiva :: July 25, 2001 05:25 AM EST

uhhhh... [blush] By Davezilla :: July 25, 2001 08:14 AM EST

I find it singularly amusing that "Study Finds Brain Irregularities in Stutterers" is what came up in a news search dealing with thongs and nightstands. By jason :: July 25, 2001 11:55 AM EST

Dave, Dave, Dave....does your little friend need new batteries?

(actually, i think that is one of the best search enginer parodies I've ever seen -- possibly the only one I've ever seen -- it IS a parody, right? Right??) By Sherri Magdalene :: July 25, 2001 12:40 PM EST

Yes it’s a parody, but the conversation is entirely real. I like testing the limits of what laughably passes for AI. This is the second one I did. The first one is archived here. By Davezilla :: July 25, 2001 06:30 PM EST

bravo... very nice, very nice. By sc0tt :: July 26, 2001 05:06 PM EST