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July 10, 2001 :: "If it can spray, it can kill..."

Today marks a new section on Davezilla: Manly Tips for Bachelor Living! Enjoy.

o.k., so hair mousse is unmanly but a big fuschia can of aqua net is *not*?

the last guy i knew with a can of aqua net was arrested for going door to door and asking people to spray him with it. hehe.

i like to say aqua net. aaaaaquaaaa neeeeeeeet. By denise :: July 10, 2001 02:47 AM EST

hee hee

That reminds me of when I was at camp one summer when I was about 13. The camp was in an area of Scotland well known (although not to me) for it's midgies (like mosquitos but more evil and scottish).

Anyway, I'm allergic to these little horrors, and there were MILLLLLLLIONS of them, and they were everywhere.

EVERYWHERE.

So I did what any self respecting teenager would do. I got out my can of cheap hairspray, and sprayed for all I was worth. I don't know that they ever got all those little black specks (and when I say all, I mean a black circle of about 4" in diameter around the light fitting) off the ceiling around the light fixture... By pixeldiva :: July 10, 2001 03:08 AM EST

Windex is great. I once killed a spider by smashing it with the bottom of the bottle. Then, when hundreds of little spiders creeped out of the carcass and began scattering about the floor, I turned the nozzle and hosed them to death.

Viva la Windex! By nik :: July 10, 2001 09:04 AM EST

Oh, and another one I just remembered, for getting rid of beasties in the bathroom or kitchen.

Thick bleach. Not strictly a spray, but amazingly effective.

A nice viscous dollop right on top of your intented victim and watch as they try and break their way out of it while it both burns and suffocates them.

Then, turn on tap/shower head and rinse.

Kill two proverbial birds - you can give the bath/sink a quick clean while you're at it! By pixeldiva :: July 10, 2001 09:38 AM EST

To kill lethal looking spiders, I always use WD-40 and a lighter -- a nice, quick, fiery death. Of course, I can't be held responsible for the charring on your walls as a result of taking my advice on this. Personally, I try to restrict my pyrotechnical sorties to the out-of-doors regions. By michaelbrown :: July 10, 2001 11:37 AM EST

Denise, Denise, Denise. You lose any punk rock credibility you ever had. Aqua Net is THE hairspray of choice for punk rockers. No other hairspray is as manly as Aqua Net.

Here is an article about Aqua Net and its popularity among Goths and punks. By Davezilla :: July 10, 2001 12:10 PM EST

chuck will tell you that except for my brief affair with blixa, i never had any punk rock cred whatsoever. By denise :: July 10, 2001 01:06 PM EST

Blixa is truly an Aqua Net man. But you do get half your points back for the Blixa affair. I had forgotten about that. :^p By Davezilla :: July 10, 2001 01:52 PM EST

Living here in South Florida (Fort Lauderdale area), we get these cockroach-like things called palmetto bugs that are pretty tough to kill. They laugh at bug spray. But anything with alcohol kills them instantly. When one surprises you as you visit the bathroom in the middle of the night, just reach for a bottle of rubbing alcohol and splash them to death. (The alcohol dries out the oiliness in their bodies.) Now, if I could just teach myself to pick the little corpses up off the floor... By Leslier :: July 10, 2001 02:37 PM EST

do i get any points at all for cringing in fear when i see a bug in my apartment and then asking my girlfriend to kill it for me? if it helps, she usually just wads up some tissue and kills it, doesn't even need a spray can. By bakiwop :: July 10, 2001 03:31 PM EST

That’s it! Turn in your Man-Card right this instant. Your testosterone levels are seriously in question young man. By Davezilla :: July 10, 2001 07:59 PM EST

Great list, but I have to take objection to your assertion that having Febreeze makes you unmanly.
Febreeze is quite possibly the first household cleanser-type item aimed directly at active bachelors.
Does your coat stink like smoke from the night at the bar? Febreeze it. Did you accidently sit on the couch after playing 5 hours of basketball with all of your manly buddies at the yMca? Febreeze it. Decide you like that shirt and have to wear it again before you wash it, even though it smells like that rut you had last night? Febreeze it.
This product is truly magical. Manliness cannot be compromised by the fact that someone wants to smell good, but is also too lazy to properly wash something. By bob :: July 11, 2001 09:30 AM EST

I cannot back ya there buddy. Nothing smells more girly than Febreeze. Except maybe a girl. Can’t do it. You lose three points from your Man-Card and I’m letting you off easy.

If you want your place to smell good crack open a beer and put in a pan on low heat. Potpourri, the Manly Way. By Davezilla :: July 11, 2001 11:11 AM EST

febreeze is pretty girly, but there is a clorox version that isn't. as fond as i am of men, i can say that a *little* hint of floral freshness vs. furniture funk factor would never make me question the masculinity quotient. By jocelyn :: July 11, 2001 02:23 PM EST

Clorox huh? I could do that. Bleach is a manly smell. Anything that tears out the lining of your sinuses is rather manly. Good call Jocelyn! By Davezilla :: July 11, 2001 05:53 PM EST