davezilla.com > current: May 26, 2001: "Lunchtime"

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May 26, 2001 :: "Lunchtime"

Phineas suggested this for lunch. Thanks pal.

I was thinking about The Question again. But this time in reference to food. Most of you know I am primarily vegetarian [one day a week I have fish or sushi]. Personally, I always thought vegetarianism was a no-brainer. You eat vegetables. Shockingly, some people do not grasp this concept. Allow me, [in the classic Debbie Swenson writing technique] to present a conversation based on years of stupidity.

Carnivore: So wait... vegetarian. Does that mean you don’t eat any meat?
Me: Correct.
Carnivore: None?
Me: Well duh!
Carnivore: Not even hamburgers?
Me: [ stares in utter disbelief ]
Carnivore: I could never go without McDonald’s.
Me: You’ve obviously mistaken me with the David who gives a shit.
Carnivore: But you still eat like chickens and turkey right?
Me: No, of course not.
Carnivore: How come? You can still be a vegetarian and eat chickens. My cousin is vegetarian and he eats chickens but like no hamburgers and shit.
Me: Then your cousin isn’t a vegetarian; just a healthy eater.
Carnivore: Well he says you can. Besides, chickens aren’t meat.
Me: They aren’t mangoes either. Nor do they fall in the pumpkin or legume family.
Carnivore: What’s a legume?
Me: [ stares in utter disbelief ]

What’s the stupidest food or diet-related question you’ve been asked?

He said. She said. There’s 13 Comments

i used to be a vegetarian, but then i took a shower. now i feel much better. By charles :: May 26, 2001 02:21 PM EST

We're glad you took one too Charles. By Davezilla :: May 26, 2001 02:23 PM EST

i waited tables for 10 years. where do i begin. but i think my favorite was a woman who asked if the pumpkins for the pumpkin pie are indiginous to the area. or the guy who asked if the shrimp were from lake michigan. or the time.... By jocelyn :: May 26, 2001 03:55 PM EST

Oh yes. Shrimp are quite abundant in the freshwater Great Lakes. As are shark and swordfish. By Davezilla :: May 26, 2001 06:23 PM EST

Here is one for the books.
While working a meaningless job at a bowling alley/resturant, a regular customer who always ordered the same thing.
"A cheesburger with out cheese."
So I ask her then don't you want a hamburger it'll be cheaper. And with a quick snap the lady said, Boy do I have to get the manager?
No Ma'am I got it. Your total comes to 5.95, Then in typical fashion "That is too much" Ya know if you had gotten the hamburger you would probably only had to have paid 4.50 or so. But what do I know I'm just an employee. By J_dogg43 :: May 26, 2001 06:55 PM EST

My father works in Japan a lot and said the Japanse order hamburgers that way. They refuse to believe that a cheeseburger is a hamburger with cheese. He was baffled. By Davezilla :: May 26, 2001 07:33 PM EST

http://www.jtcwd.com/vegie/types.html

They left out the other kind of vegetarian. The meato-vegetarian - the kind that eat meat. =) By the other michael :: May 26, 2001 09:03 PM EST

I'm vegetarian. I get so many people asking me "What do you eat?" Don't they understand that it's really only western societies that eat meat all the time, which leaves me with food from the majority of the world to choose from?

I was also asked once, "So, you can't eat chips, can you?" But then again, after the whole McDonald's "vegetarian fries aren't quite vegetarian" thing, perhaps that was a serious question. By Zoe :: May 27, 2001 03:05 AM EST

I have a strong aversion to anything that falls under the seafood category, and most people who know me know this.

So when I say "I don't eat anything that swims," and they ask if that includes shrimp and lobster "cause they kinda crawl" I get irritated.

"I don't eat it if it was born into and lives and breathes water, okay?" By Tara :: May 27, 2001 04:26 AM EST

What’s the stupidest food or diet-related question you’ve been asked?

"Six, would you ever consider being a vegetarian?"

(I love ya Dave!) ;-) By six :: May 27, 2001 10:38 AM EST

I have one friend who is almost exclusively carnivore. He cracks me up. When we go out for lunch he'll say, "Give me something dead between bread." By Davezilla :: May 27, 2001 10:58 AM EST

the Albert Brooks movie mother has a hilarious vegetarianism scene toward the beginning, when Brook's character arrives at the home of his mother (played with painful perfection by Debbie Reynolds) and announces that he's going to stay indefinitely. Of course, she wants to make him something to eat, but doesn't understand what to prepare for a vegetarian. They finally settle on salad, even though she keeps the lettuce in the freezer (because it keeps longer that way, of course) with a sprinkle of cheese (also kept in the freezer, same reason) and ice cream for dessert (which has grown a "protective layer" of ice on top). yum. By ari :: May 27, 2001 11:54 AM EST

Being a multi food group eater (almost all types as long at it's not slimy) and a person on a perpetual spiritual path, I come across many, many vegan/vegitarian types, so I tend to get the opposite response of, "How DARE you eat meat!"
me - I'm just a dare devil!
"Don't you know it destroys your karma!"
me- I didn't think karma could be detroyed, just badly damaged....
"You know, meat lowers your vibration"
me- Honey, I'm flying so high, I could use a little grounding
well the list goes on, but suffice to say, I love veggies, I Love Meat, I love sugar, I love bread, I love fruit and I wear it proudly! By Jacki :: May 27, 2001 01:26 PM EST