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March 31, 2001 :: "Flu Shots"

Flu Shots
American: [Turns on television]
Perky newscaster: Have you gotten your flu shot yet? Each year thousands of Americans go without their flu shots and suffer for weeks from the flu. It’s news you need to know.
American: Damn. I’d better get one o’ dem flu shot thingies.

[Stands in line for three hours]

American: Damn. They’s lined up so far back you’d think they was giving away free money! [grunts]
Over-worked foreign doctor: Dere you go. Now don’t lick any strrrange doorknobs.
American: Damn. OK Doc. I won’t.

[Next day... ]

American: Damn. I don’t feel so good. [sniff*hack*coff*wheeze] Damn. I done got the flu anyhow! [Turns on television]
Perky newscaster: Have you gotten your flu shot yet? Millions of Americans waited in line for hours to get their flu shots yesterday. But are flu shots really effective? You’ll find out in our exclusive story tonight at 11. It’s news you need to know.
American: Damn. I’d better stay up and watch that story. Sure do feel poorly though.

[11pm... ]

Perky newscaster: Billions of Americans get flu shots every year. But most of them still get the flu. We asked a local over-worked foreign doctor for some answers. It’s news you need to know.
Over-worked foreign doctor: We tell dese peoples not to lick any strrrange doorknobs. But dey do anyways. Any dey get de flu. It’s unaboidavle.
Perky newscaster: But doctor, not everyone licks doorknobs. And they still get the flu. How do you explain that?
Over-worked foreign doctor: Well. They are getting a different flu. We give dem a shot for de other flu. Dis one was unaboidavle.
Perky newscaster: Well there you have it. And you saw it here first. Flu shots do work. But we need to make sure we get shots for the right flu bug. Apparently there is more than one type of flu. It’s news you need to know.
American: Damn.

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He said. She said. There’s 2 Comments

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Note to self: Quit licking doorknobs.
Leia :: 31 March, 2001 11:23 AM

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Dey just never listen to me! [shakes head]
an over-worked foreign doctor :: 31 March, 2001 11:32 AM

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