Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

Haven’t done these in a few years! The following URLs are all unintentionally funny and all real companies.

1. 1hourscrap.com
2. achildshaven.com
3. amigonefuneralhome.com
4. apetit.com
5. blindsexpress.com
6. cumbooks.co.za [A Christian bookstore offering "Cum Blessings"]
8. dailyfacials.com
9. doggiestyles.co.uk
10. ferrethandjobs.com [My personal favorite]
11. ilovebigals.com
12. ladrape.co.uk
13. masterbaitonline.com
14. michaelspornanimation.com
15. oddsexchange.com
16. oldmanshaven.com
17. penisland.net [A Zilla Girl Destination]
18. semensemble.org
19. therapistschoice.com
20. www.anker.com

Ohhhhh geez. What’s with the florescent light, buddy? I would kill for some eyelids right about now.

[swims a bit]

Christ on a crutch. Dere’s dat damn Pufferfish again. Swimming by my filter tube! Don’t he know that’s my turf? I better shows him who’s boss around here.

[swims up]

Hey! Yo, Puffie! Yeah, you. Get yer no good, bloated belly-havin’ prickly-ass outta my turf!
What? Oh is dat a fact? Listen pal. I been in dis tank since you was a fry. I remember the day dey dropped your bag in the tank. Dere goes the neighborhood I says. We all knew you was gonna be trouble. And look at you. You’re fat. You gots prickles all overs ya. You gots buggy eyes and a tiny dorsal fin. And you knows what the ladies say about fish with small dorsal fins. BWAHAHAHAH!

What? No, I’m a clownfish pal, get it straight. See dat anemone back dere? Dat’s mine. Go ahead. Touch it. The poison will kill ya. Whaddya mean, you gots stronger poison? In your scales? What the? Your cousin killed a Japanese guy? Serves him right for eatin’ him! BWAHAHAHAHAH! No offense pal, but I can’t sees why anybody would wants to eat ya. Yer uh, how do I put dis delicately? FUGLY!

Actually, this is The Cove, a very cool little restaurant in San Antonio that I ate at last Tuesday. Amazing food. Just don’t get how the laundromat fits in.

What’s the worst thing that’s happened to you while driving?

I ask because while driving home from the airport yesterday, a large Wolf Spider jumped off my visor and landed on my forearm