Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

So my site seems to have been compromised by clever spammers. Not sure how they got in, but they managed to insert hidden code into thousands of posts that I now have to manually remove. Somehow it is affecting my sidebar and footer as well. The site isn’t showing any PHP errors, but the site hasn’t been working since that spam appeared in my posts. Will keep working on this. Might be a few more days of downtime. Apologies! Meanwhile, enjoy the links.

And we’re back! So it turned out to be a plugin that borked on me. The spam was coincidental. The plugin wasn’t crucial; it changed the “Older Stuff, Newer Stuff” links at the bottom to pagination numbers (like on CNET).

Try using some of these in a business meeting, or with a customer this week.

1. Shit or get off the Pope
2. It’s not pocket science
3. It is what it was
4. A jack of all maids
5. Like white on color
6. Familiarity breeds mice
7. Don’t rock the goat
8. The show must grow lawns
9. Caught with his pants brown
10. Sharp as a stack

Call me picky, but this isn’t how one blends in when wandering about Detroit.

1. At the exact moment you choose to use the airplane lavatory, the fasten seat belt light will come on
2. The size of the persons on either side of you are directly proportional to the amount of claustrophobia you exhibit
3. The more sleep deprived you are, the more the person next to you will talk (loudly) about themselves, eat loudly or make rude bodily noises
4. The last douchebag on the plane will be the first one to scream that he needs to exit the plane now
5. Aviophobia sufferers (fear of flying) are the sole cause of plane turbulence
6. The more engrossing your book is, the louder a baby will cry behind you
7. The hungrier you are, the higher the probability is that the flight will not have food service
8. The hotter the flight attendant, the more likely it is they will be working the other section of the plane
9. The tighter your connecting flight times are, the later your first flight will be
10. The weaker the air vents, the worse the person next to you will stink

Which ones did I miss? Tell us which ones you know.