Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

I looked up the definition of thong by accident (yeah, right) and found an interesting word as part of the definition:

Thong underwear and swimwear is a style characterized by a thin strip of material along the center of the garment’s rear designed to sit between the wearer’s asscheeks connecting the front or pouch to the waistband behind the wearer.[1]

1. Dogs lay eggs. Your parents hide them from you and you eat them on Easter.
2. Clowns eat children. After your pointless birthday party, one of your friends will be sacrificed to appease them.
4. If you don’t eat your vegetables, you will have to stay in the third grade forever.
5. Your parents only make you take math as a punishment.
6. The only kids that can see Santa Claus are the ones who eat broccoli, rhubarb and spinach.
7. Sixth graders learn to turn invisible in science class. Then they watch you in the bathroom.
8. Diaries are closely monitored by the government. Everything you write in them gets read aloud on the evening news so your parents can have a good laugh at you.
9. Your parents stopped having children when they saw how embarrassing you turned out to be.
10. What mean things would you teach a third grader?