Comments on: How to drive a waitress insane http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/ If you're not spewing your coffee, we're not doing our job Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:11:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: Vicki http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-298042 Vicki Thu, 08 May 2008 12:47:53 +0000 http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-298042 <p>Order my water well done.</p> Order my water well done.

]]> By: Master Solace http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-295973 Master Solace Tue, 06 May 2008 16:02:39 +0000 http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-295973 <p>When it comes to tipping, I'm a get-what-you-got kinda guy...seriously, if they did a decent job, I'll leave them the usual 3-4 dollars....if they did a great job, I'll give them 5-7....if they were amazing, I'll give them 10(yeah, I have done this a few times)......if they were bad, I'll leave a dollar............if they were rude, I'll take the bottle of ketchup, and squirt out enough to cover a 1/3 pound burger, and take a penny a turn it face down in the middle of it........and if it's worse than that, I'll mix in some A1, mustard, salt, and sugar with the ketchup.............and if it was bullshit, you get the idea..........</p> When it comes to tipping, I’m a get-what-you-got kinda guy…seriously, if they did a decent job, I’ll leave them the usual 3-4 dollars….if they did a great job, I’ll give them 5-7….if they were amazing, I’ll give them 10(yeah, I have done this a few times)……if they were bad, I’ll leave a dollar…………if they were rude, I’ll take the bottle of ketchup, and squirt out enough to cover a 1/3 pound burger, and take a penny a turn it face down in the middle of it……..and if it’s worse than that, I’ll mix in some A1, mustard, salt, and sugar with the ketchup………….and if it was bullshit, you get the idea……….

]]> By: AnnieB http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-295386 AnnieB Tue, 06 May 2008 00:26:34 +0000 http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-295386 <p>Ah good news, Lung took his funny pill today. Good stuff babe, laughed my... head off! :razz: :lol: :grin: :kiss:</p> Ah good news, Lung took his funny pill today. Good stuff babe, laughed my… head off! :razz: :lol: :grin: :kiss:

]]> By: Jessica L. http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-295363 Jessica L. Tue, 06 May 2008 00:05:11 +0000 http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-295363 <p>[Comment ID #293923 will appear here] Yea, I worked as a waitress for my first job. It's horrible, just horrible, so don't piss them off intentionally. PLEASE!!! IF they are biatches or a-holes, then by all means: 1.Order something that's not on the menu, then when they say they don't have that, tell them you get it all the time here. 2.Leave them a tip in all change, that shit weighs down your apron.</p> [Comment ID #293923 will appear here]
Yea, I worked as a waitress for my first job. It’s horrible, just horrible, so don’t piss them off intentionally. PLEASE!!! IF they are biatches or a-holes, then by all means:
1.Order something that’s not on the menu, then when they say they don’t have that, tell them you get it all the time here.
2.Leave them a tip in all change, that shit weighs down your apron.

]]> By: Lung the Younger http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-294791 Lung the Younger Mon, 05 May 2008 13:04:29 +0000 http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-294791 <p>Before the waiter has a chance to speak, say the following:</p> <p>‘Well hi there. My name’s Dwane and I’ll be your customer for today!’</p> <p>‘Can you please explain to me why ‘you’ are called a waiter when logically it is ‘I’ who will have to do the waiting.’ </p> <p>‘Do you have any kind of plastic covering that you could put on the seat under my grandfather?’</p> <p>‘So the auditions are still going badly, eh?’</p> <p>‘Could you bring us a spittoon while we decide what to order?’ </p> <p>‘Bet you’ll never guess how many ‘waiter-there’s-a-fly-in-my-soup’ jokes I know.’</p> <p>‘Look, I don’t mean to be a drag but I forgot to take my medication this morning, so could you give me the bluntest knife you have?’</p> Before the waiter has a chance to speak, say the following:

‘Well hi there. My name’s Dwane and I’ll be your customer for today!’

‘Can you please explain to me why ‘you’ are called a waiter when logically it is ‘I’ who will have to do the waiting.’

‘Do you have any kind of plastic covering that you could put on the seat under my grandfather?’

‘So the auditions are still going badly, eh?’

‘Could you bring us a spittoon while we decide what to order?’

‘Bet you’ll never guess how many ‘waiter-there’s-a-fly-in-my-soup’ jokes I know.’

‘Look, I don’t mean to be a drag but I forgot to take my medication this morning, so could you give me the bluntest knife you have?’

]]> By: junkman http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-294777 junkman Mon, 05 May 2008 12:31:18 +0000 http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-294777 <p>quit watching after first pass with lawnmower so i don't know what happened next. just like saturday.....</p> quit watching after first pass with lawnmower so i don’t know what happened next. just like saturday…..

]]> By: junkman http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-294776 junkman Mon, 05 May 2008 12:29:06 +0000 http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-294776 <p>i think lawn of the dead was me walking home from the bar saturday night. :-(</p> i think lawn of the dead was me walking home from the bar saturday night. :-(

]]> By: Meagan http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-294398 Meagan Mon, 05 May 2008 00:19:35 +0000 http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-294398 <p>Drop your fork over and over, asking for a new one each time. At some point, throw up your hands and say, "Forget it, I'll use my own," and pull out a plastick fork.</p> <p>Tell the waitress you're on a strict clean diet where you'll only eat food that's been prepared by blind hermit monks and you're not leaving until you get what you want.</p> <p>Ask them if it's okay if you change your adult baby right there on the table. :wtf:</p> Drop your fork over and over, asking for a new one each time. At some point, throw up your hands and say, “Forget it, I’ll use my own,” and pull out a plastick fork.

Tell the waitress you’re on a strict clean diet where you’ll only eat food that’s been prepared by blind hermit monks and you’re not leaving until you get what you want.

Ask them if it’s okay if you change your adult baby right there on the table. :wtf:

]]> By: pablo http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-294238 pablo Sun, 04 May 2008 21:47:03 +0000 http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-294238 <p>Re: Link of the Day: Walking Bike </p> <p>Turn those shoes around and you have yourself an ass kicking machine instead!!!</p> Re: Link of the Day: Walking Bike

Turn those shoes around and you have yourself an ass kicking machine instead!!!

]]> By: Bigwavdave http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-294055 Bigwavdave Sun, 04 May 2008 18:01:09 +0000 http://www.davezilla.com/2008/05/03/how-to-drive-a-waitress-insane/#comment-294055 <p>That's not a drive...It's a short putt</p> That’s not a drive…It’s a short putt

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