The Dump and Run
One thing I absolutely deplore is the dump and run. Someone did it to me today. I walk in the Men’s Room to use the urinal and someone else is in there just polluting the stall. I suspect he was well-fed on a diet of burnt broccoli and baked Yeti fur topped with a rich tarantula demi-glace.
The dump and run technique is brutal and unfair. While the victim is at the urinal, the perpetrator makes a hasty retreat without pausing to wash their hands, leaving you alone in the bathroom with a putrid stench. Naturally, anyone who comes in afterward assumes it was you. Evil.
Has you ever been the victim of a dump and run (or something similar)?
You should try the infield bathrooms at Fontana, first thing Sunday morning on NASCAR weekend!
I personally hate it when they forget to flush! C’mon ladies, if you don’t want to touch the handle with your hand, then use your foot!
I hate it when it doesn’t flush clean: 1) when you SHOULD flush a second time because the water pressure didn’t flush it all, or 2) when it leave a mark on the inside of the bowl-please, put another ass-gasket or some TP in the bowl to help scrub off the residue! Why the hell are we discussing this at 9:45 a.m.???
The Sultan strikes again, filling the Eastern half of the United States (and probably some of Canada) with the lofting scent of shitting squirrels & skunks.
Would a
“COURTESY FLUSH” be to much to ask? 
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i know, right??
Howdy Doody woke the instant he landed in the ice-cold water.
“Oh shit!†he thought as he bobbed to the surface.
“Why do I feel so crappy? Ugh, have I put on a few pounds! And….oh! What in God’s name is that SMELL?â€
Looking around him, he became aware of his surroundings.
“Classical music piped into the bathrooms – check! Royal Doulton porcelain - check! Gold-plated plumbing fixtures – check! Shit, I’ve landed in an advertising agency again!â€
“And that guy who was using the urinals – why is coming over to take a look? Get lost, buddy!â€
Pervs don’t got manners.
I personally believe in flushing the moment the turd hits the water. Yes this involves several flushes but it saves on air polution!
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or good grammar.
Where the hell you been? I’ve missed you!
Damn that Ronald McDonald video is annoying! Someone should shoot whoever made that.
I’m sorry but sixty second is all I could stand of the Ronald McDonald video. The first part reminded me of the Zapruder film, “back and to the right, back and to the right”. We could only get so lucky.
In some cultures, the Dump and Run is considered a high-point of social courtesy. This includes any community whose name ends with “ucky” (including Hazeltucky).
You should feel honored.
The Dump & Run should be followed by the -
WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
This one struck gold this morning in the site shed…
The Beer Dump
Nasty! Depends upon the dumper’s tolerance and is the result of too many
beers - doesn’t matter if it was 2 or 22. What you get is a sinister,
lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by an odious malevolent fog that could
close the bathroom for days. Naked flames are ill advised…..
In fact I might go so far as to say that paint was seen peeling off the outside walls.
I wanted to not say anything but try taking a piss when there is the nasty vapor+the smell of a cigar or cigarettes -that will make me wanna puke when Im drinking-and I smoke…So hella nasty I’ll pull my shirt over my face ninja style
:puke:-vapor bombs so nastee
can we talk about naked chicks instead
Dave
I hope none of your readers are epileptic dude , That fuckin Ronnie McD’s shit nearly gave me a seizure.
So I’m with J
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AnnieB, Meagan, Mandy…we know your out there.
Dave I hope none of your readers are Epaleptic that damn Ronnie McD nearly gave me a seizure.
So I’m with J
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AnnieB, Mistress Darla, Mandy…we know your out there
I didn’t last :30 seconds w/ Ronald. As for Dump n Run… it could be worse… they could Dump n Dump some more…
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And the guy playing Ronald too , or at least bitch slap the hell out of him
The dump and run is mild compared to a dry dock. The dry dock is taking a shit, turning the water off, then flushing, leaving the shit “dry docked” in the toilet. No amount of flushing will fix it. Oh my god its the worst.
What irks me is when someone takes a dump, and Lysol or some other air freshner is provided and they could have used it before anyone else walked in.
Ever go in a restroom knowing you are wearing nice perfume/colgne, and when you walk out you don’t smell it anymore because of someone elses’… “inconsideration”? 
Man, I hate that when that happens! 
I has something similar happen to me. I don’t know if there is a term already out there for this, but if there is please feel free to post it here. We always called it “The Drive-by”. This happened to me several times back when I worked retail. Anyone that works retail knows you spend a lot of time cleaning up and straightening the aisles after the herds of oxen that qualify as customers rampage through the store.
On more than one occassion while performing this duty a customer quietly wandered through the aisle, paused not more than 10 feet away and dropped a ridiculously wretched, malodorous 10-megaton SBD only to make a speedy getaway. There I sit with a pile of merchandise choking on this wonderful gift of shock and awe, when another customer rounds the corner only to give me that incredulous look and beat a hasty retreat at the first whiff of the immediate surroundings. Even better is when the store manager does it to you and laughs his ass off the rest of the day because he spied on you from 2 aisles down to see the hapless victim’s face and the retreat that would make Speedy Gonzalez proud.
I sure don’t miss retail.
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Amen & hallelujah.
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I am and I’m waiting… naked in bed!
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Mistress Darla may I serve you breakfast in bed , I have some reeeeeeeeally gooooood SAUSAGE you should try
You kept everything on the same topic today. Someone taking a dump, Zombies in the sewers and that video was pure crap.
BTW if there really are any zombies in these sewers you would think they would starve. They eat brains, right?
Oh god I am so sorry Dave, I didn’t know you were there…
Supercharged_goddess
I love the way your mind works but really if any of us Zillaguys ever got the chance to tear clothes off of the Zillagirls I dont think any training would be necessary for that .
Training for stamina yes but I think in the end we would still need Paramedics and O2
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With special sauce too?
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A rich warm creamy sauce just for you
Just to get off the dump point, I have forever been a victim of Spray and Go. You ladies know what I mean, you walk into a restroom, use the facilities, and as you’re washing your hands, another woman walks in and begins to spray her ridiculously coiffed hair with an entire can of hair spray! Then she leaves you there to choke as the next woman in hits the noxious cloud and gives you a dirty look. Bleck!
Test Test this is my third try to post
Relax and enjoy Jimmie it’s all good here.
Mistress Darla why have I not been disciplined for spewing….uh I meen spilling cream sauce all over you .
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And all over my shoes! I’ll whip you thrice as hard for that!
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Planet? PLANET? WE DON’T NEED NO STINKIN’ PLANET!!
What to do? Grab on to something :boobs: (your call here), hang on (or out
), and enjoy the ride!! 
I goofed again!! I meant to quote this….
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Planet? PLANET? WE DON’T NEED NO STINKIN’ PLANET!!
What to do? Grab on to something :boobs: (your call here), hang on (or out
), and enjoy the ride!! 
(Sorry for the misquote, Nicolette. I’m overcome with embarrassment.)
I stopped to use the restroom at one of those plazas on the NJ turnpike awhile back. I walked in and all the urinals were busy as were all but one of the stalls. I entered it and understood why it was empty. In the toilet was a turd of massive proportions! I can’t even imagine what kind of being left it there. It certainly wasn’t going to flush down the can. I turned and left looking for another place to take a leak. As I left the stall a loudmouth guy with a Jersey accent stepped in. In a second he was loudly stating his disgust and came out accusing me of leaving it there, asking me what the fuck I’d been eating and if my ass was sore. It would have been real embarrassing if I happened to live at that plaza but I just laughed, jumped in my car and headed back to Boston.
The porta potties and outhouses I had to deal with while I was in the military were no picnic. Plus there was no run and dump. People would ask ya what you thought about their achievments whil you were sitting there! Nothing more viled than digested and evacuated MRE’s
Hey Dave - So post already, this place is startin’ to REALLY STINK!
I was in a mens room of a a bar/restaurant that not only smelled like 13 rotting Yak carcasses, but the guy was still in the stall grunting and moaning like he was trying to push Yak corpse #14 out his butt. I almost asked, “Dude, are you o.k.?” and I was hoping that I didn’t have whatever he had that caused it.
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I work surrounded by Mexicans. The SBD’s from after the lunch break are awful!!! I was able to get them back one day though and they kept at least 4 ft away from me for the rest of the night! ROFLMFAO!!!!
It happened to me this weekend, but it was a walkby farting. I was in Blockbuster and moved over to a different section of wall, that’s when the smell hit me. Didn’t have time to move away before an employee came up to me asking if he could help. I was grateful that he was able to give me a copy of the movie I wanted to rent, but horrified that he might’ve thought that I was the one to create the awful stench!
I’m going to have creepy clown nightmares tonight… WTF!!!
I had a kid on a school bus I drove who thought it was funny to stink up the bus. Several times he stood up and let out a loud fart on the captive victims of a moving bus. One day, I smelled it, yanked open the side window, in freezing weather. Some kids laughed at that so in a slightly complaintive voice I stated, “Hey, I’m trying to drive here!” I think that embarrassed him, he quit doing it.
Ok I can handle the dump part , it is the not washing your hands afterwards that I hate. I have to stop at truck stops a lot to fuel up and witness this more and more. Then the person goes around the store touching everything ewww . Quick story once I was walking up to the urinal and couldn’t help notice a man with a chicken drum stick in his mouth. .
Not only do I perpetrate the “Dump and Run,” I also “hotbox” the elevator on those days when I feel particularly flatulent. I get down to the lobby level, and if no one is there waiting, I’ll do a full-on fartgasm in the elevator, with the doors closed, it locks in the “seasoning” for the next schmuck.
PS: Someone else in the building has a penchant for hotboxing, so I’m hoping it’s him who gets a snootful.