Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

Longtime readers know that the every year I post my resolutions and ask for yours. I like to make mine easily achievable. You know, aim low and finish the year having achieved all of them.

1. I resolve not to smear jelly on the face of my enemies.
2. I resolve not to run naked through the office when I don’t get my way. Anymore.
3. I resolve not to commit acts of genocide. Unless an island of spammers is found, in which case it’s open season!
4. I resolve not to run out of coffee.
5. I resolve not to be caught whistling Dixie. Ever.
6. I resolve to remember the Alamo.
7. I resolve not to break into song and dance during client meetings.
8. I resolve not to turn into a flying dolphin with heat-vision, seeking to steal the souls of those I deem unworthy to live.
9. I resolve not to kick my own ass.
10. What are your resolutions?