Complete this sentence #27 (182)
Keeping abreast of my readers #2 (152)
What is your kryptonite? (128)
More people we can safely dislike (113)
A pigment of my imagination (106)
Note to Self, No. 6,001 (103)
Keeping abreast of my readers (94)
Caption Time #105 (94)
Top Signs You May Be a Walking Asshole (92)
More people we dislike: The unwashed masses (91)
Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments © Davezilla 2008 |
Freedom-Black and Widgetized by Tina Silva
Freedom Blue Plus improved by Eyoung. Kudos to Frank Helmschrott, Michael and Fredrik for the original Design.
Dave, I’ve started to take you for granite, but even tho you sometimes seem kinda stoned, it don’t mean schist…You Rock!
You know, being too sedimentary and sitting there guzzling quartz of coal beverages till slate at night will just give you an asphalt. Shale we conglomerate with the Zillagirls and do something about it? That might be pretty gneiss!
(If they won’t, I bet Dolomite!)
NOW you put this up. I waited all day to say Happy Birthday to Bjorn on the proper date!
Well Bjorn, I was thinking about you and hope you’ve had a great day!
Damn Dave, you really did some partying last night! You look like you just fell off a cliff!
Lake - you’re in rare form tonight! You gave me the giggles.
Lake, that was just too much!
Dave, was this taken at your company’s human relations department or in the customer service department? Is it a Rockies fan or more of a Avalanche follower? Does it spend quiet afternoons skipping itself across streams or enjoy rock concerts?
Caption? Oh Yeah…
Despite Pebbles’ successful climb up the corporate ladder, she really missed her childhood days as a pet rock on Little David’s bookshelf…
Wow…I think I felt my tectonic plates shift…I think I’m going volcanic…
You remembered! Thanks. I got a free lunch (always the best) and took a nap. Everybody should have a birthday at least once a year.
Ok, caption time…
“And I would have gotten away with the deception, if my productivity hadn’t gone up 30%.”
Wow this internet porn really gets my humans off
Happy B-Day Bjorn.
Is that my pet rock all growed up?
His excitement quickly dissapated while during his first day on the job, Iggy realized he had no arms and therefore could not finish his TPS reports, much less even plug in the cable for his internet connection.
Seth boulder over with his latest P & L report….
Rocky VII: see Stallone “rock” the corporate world as Rocky does battle with evil venture capitalists. Can Rocky save Wall Street from itself?
Datamining, the old fashioned way.
Who says you can’t get rock hard abs sitting at a desk?
So, I’m sitting there singing Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 and…
Fred so annoyed the Witch with his constant singing of Paul Simon’s “I Am A Rock, I Am An Island” that….. Well, you see what happened…. Turns out his boss really is a witch.
Happy B’lated Birthday, Bjorn!
“Rockman! Where is that report? And where the hell is your phone?!”
Happy Birthday Spankings, Bjorn!
can’t fool me……that’s the same fuckin guy from yesterdays video! happy felated bidet. bjorn.
Is it just me or do Lake Effect & Bjorn Freeh look like one in the same
Did you ever notice you never see them in a room together?
I’m just sayin’…
“Now what did I do with my pen??!!??!!”
Kieth Richards at the office.
Happy Bjirthday Bjorn
For the last musical reference… “Help! I’m a rock!” from Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention’s album ‘Freak Out!’
Perhaps its in your
Careful how you sits. 
:wang: 
Looks like the lead singer in the video is a proud customer of the Macgyver Hair Salon…
Maybe Bjorn’s like Clark Kent. He whips off his Supersmartman glasses and turns into Lake Effect, Superfunnyman.
You’re looking a little mousey lately BigWavDave. Who would you become if you cut off your long tail?
Can you smell what the Rock is blogging?
Greg immediately regretted his wish to be a Rock Star.
Sadly, you could tell by the look on Brick’s face he was in dire need to “go make gravel”.
You knocked my block off…
Though a great guy Bob was a total blockhead
Yea regarding your tech support call, there appears to be a problem between your keyboard and chair…
Hookers with massive
:boobs: for Jesus? Mary Magdalen would be so proud!
The name’s Rocky; of the firm Rock, Paper, and Scissors. We never lose.
It took a while, but they finally found someone who could work in the cubicle next to the Sultan. Even so, errosion was a concern.
“Let me state this for the record: I … never … inhaled!”
Of course, YOU can play with my tail whenever you like. And let me tell you…Once you try mouse tail, you’ll never go back!
The next “Big Rockstar” looking for his next big “HIT”
Hadda boss like that once but he wasn’t as funny…………….
inner-voice
“Sigh….. Does Dave really think this is working? I mean, come on….. How dumb does he think I am? For fuck sakes, it’s a gigantic boulder! I swear to God, if Dave doesn’t straighten up his attitude, I’m….
Oh who am I kidding. I’ll see Dave in a day or two and I’ll be all like….
“Dave, we gotta talk”
..and he’ll be all like
“WTF man! Can’t see I’m burried here?!?”
.. and I’ll be all like
“For fuck sakes Dave, maybe if you’d show up for work every once in a while, you’d actually get something done!”
.. and he’d be like
“GO FUCK YOUR SELF YOU DOUCHE BAG!! Do you have ANY fricking idea how god damn hard it is to stay up all night taking pictures of your damn cat, whom I might add, happens to somehow know what the fuck a camera is?!?!? It’s next to impossible!!”
“Fuck your god damn cat Dave! You have a JOB!”
“Well fuck your job! AND FUCK YOU TOO!!”
….. well….
“It IS pretty hard trying to get all those funny pictures ‘n stuff”
“You’re god damn right it is asshole, so just get the fuck outa my office!!!”
….. and this is where I just tell Dave that he’s on probation, and he should seriously take a second look at where his carreer is going… completely letting him off the hook.
… I’m such a pussy”
Between a rock and a hard place…
See? I told you guys I was an old fossil.
YOU, hopelessly out of date? NEVER! You’re quite hip and cool for a man YOUR age.
So did you have to transfer to the Flint Michigan office?
Porno talk makes me rock hard
DAVEZILLA INDUSTRIES
with offices in Rockville, MD; Stone Mtn, GA; Rock City (”See 7 States”), GA; Flint, MI; Little Rock, AR; Granite City, IL; Rock Springs, WY; Rockwall, TX; Pebble Beach, CA; Big Sandy, TX; & Flintridge, OH.
-Sharon Stone, Customer Servicing.
Oops, Lake Effect, you left one out; Slippery Rock, PA
This is the longest birthday I’ve ever had. Feels like it’s lasted for days…
Well, thanks! That really is my office, btw.
It takes some real stones to do what you do Dave!
Really? What do you keep in the little frige in the background? Something alcoholic for your victims… errrr…. CLIENTS?
WARNING! Working 3 to 5 years in the future for extended periods can lead to hardening of the brain and surrounding extremities. Traveling 3 to 4 days a week can alleviate these symptoms. Don’t become another statistic.
Ah. I see you’ve met one of my coworkers.