And furthermore… Part II
After the chair debacle, Liz and I sat down in chairs from polite persons of less than great intelligence. An hour or so later, we saw someone else approach the rude genius from Channel 4. A portly woman, dressed rather like a peasant or Renaissance Festival employee. Being somewhat large, she was possessed of—to put it bluntly—a large rack. This is important to note for later on.
She carried on a long conversation with the genius and we rightfully ignored them. Suddenly Liz poked me. “Look at the freak couple. Now.” I turned to see the left breast of the woman had escaped its confines, seemingly unbeknownst to her. His eyes, however, were transfixed on the sidestepping sweater kitten. From the size of his pupils, which we could see from 3 meters away, it was clear he had never seen a bare breast before.
A draft from the door or the genius’ heat vision finally prompted the pendulous peasant to her situation and she quickly adjusted herself (she had a wraparound top). Liz and I sat in shock, trying to determine how anyone could not notice that their breast had gone on holiday. Not five minutes later, it happened again. And again. We tried to figure out the odds (and physics) of three wardrobe malfunctions within five minutes. We were unsuccessful.
What are your theories?
Tags: Words.
Wow! First! I always wanted to do that!
Boobies. Maybe he was a virgin. Hell, I’ve seen more than enough breast in my time. Nothing Shockin’.
Don’t think that happened by accident. Women know damne well they could rule the universe if they united as one. “Give up the guns and I’ll give up the pooty poo”. End of war, end of discussion.
I am not at all opposed to being flashed and I try not to make my ogling obvious. Makes a bad day good, and a good day better! Like Ron White says, “If you’ve seen one boob, you pretty much want to see them all”.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL YOU ZILLA FREAKS AND FREAKETTES!
A loose tit is up for grabs!
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Oh, I totally concur about the virginity. He looked like Richard Dreyfuss in Jaws.
Perchance he was taking a thought process, dave. Trying to decide just WTF she was putting in front of him, or Perhaps she thought the best way to get him to STFU was to show him something he’d never seen before and would never see again, without full up front payment of course.
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Patrick & Ron White…Thank You! After all these decades, I finally have a diagnosis! Bless You!!
DaveZ…it’s not clear in the story…did Olive Boobzalott ever sit down in the legendary chair? Or did she (and hers) have to stand in his exalted aura??
It looks like our uber-intelligent, although socially retarded, channel 4 celebrity has found new use for his enormous brain power. From shear will alone he can cause nipple slips in large, poorly dressed women.
Hey Dave! re: video link, all I got was “The url contained a malformed video id”. Now I’m used to looking at a lot of malformed videos linked from this site, but………
This place should start charging admission! Come to Star$s for java AND a show!
Btw, I think she knew exactly what she was doing and just was having a wee bit of fun with old bug eyes.
Your genius was trying to read the tattoo - was the left breast ‘E’ or ‘Mc*c’?
I think I saw that lady, in a Navy bar in Little Creek, VA! It was 1976, I think, and the lady was heavy set but short. They called her ‘Big Shug’, and she could set a pitcher of beer on a straight back wooden chair, flop her boobs over the back of the chair, and stand up. With no hands, the pitcher of beer rode the chair into the air! She then grabbed the pitcher with one hand, and lifted off one boob, and held the chair with only one breast draped over the chair back. Inspirational! If your flasher was about 60, she may just be used to ‘hanging out’ at work!
A friend tells me the Egg Nog Latte at Starbucks is to die for. Perhaps she had been spiking hers.
Oh, gag me with a spoon! You don’t suppose THAT was what ‘genius’ meant about approaching gradually!? That you were expected to flash skin as penance for disturbing his thought?
And where was the camera, Dave?
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You are quite observant, Lake. She was standing the entire time, waiting for her S.O. to get out of the men’s room.
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Sorry about that. I only copied part of the URL I guess. Fixed now. You can’t miss this one.
Unleash them I say unleash them-free them from their bondage ahhh yes!
well, it is SO frikkin obvious! She wanted to have a little tête-a-teat with Mr Wheaties-Brain. Actually I should call him Mr Shreddies-Brain, but I think that would be counter-productive for the NaBisCo people. And as for her Fun-bag attempting to go over the wall… well, maybe she was a double-bagger.
oh, and speaking of Mammaries…
Sounds like you might have been witness to some form of twisted coffeehouse LARP.
Well Dave, now you know that if you ever spot that guy again, just flash him your
and take the chair while he is in a trance. He won’t even notice the chair is gone and you have saved yourself the headache of having to speak to that 
.
If I were her, I would have been offended that I didn’t get applausefrom the old fucker! I usually do when mine go free!!
Happy New Year my fellow Zilla-ites!!
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I’ll bite seeing as how it’s New Years…
What’s a LARP
I hazard this - Large Angular Reclining Person
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Heck, I’ll even stand up and salute!
HFNY to all in Zillaland!
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Much sadder. Live Action Role Playing. People that play Dungeons and Dragons for real with fake swords, dressed like elves. I’m not making this up.
What ! You never heard of cellphones with a camera?
As they say Dave, “a picture is worth a thousand words”
So were are the pictures!!
Let me guess, they were double D’s? No amount of fabric can hold those dirty pillows. Not even lycra.
:boob:
Regarding Part II: Let’s hear more about the drop dead gorgeous babes, K?
Re: Star Wars Trumpet Solo…Well if she’d unleashed a boob (or
:boob:) I might not have noticed she had no trumpet talent. She might have strong lips though :wang:.
And finally, I gotta say I never thought a link would strike so close to home; I regret to say the #1 WORST Realtor Photo/Poster is right from my own neighborhood.
The Horror, The Horror…
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Kinda like a geeky version of furries.
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I LARP but only my own life. Its not very exciting but my costumes appear completely normal. The “A” part is also a little lacking at times.
For some folks, subtlety is an artform; for other’s it’s an urban myth. Obviously the “errant sweater kitten” owner is of the latter of the two groups. A slip of the nip? Hey it happens to the best of us. You adjust. You blush. You get on with your life. However, to have it happen repeatedly in such a short span of time? It’s obviously one of two things is afoot:
She doesn’t have her mammoth mams properly ensconced in a foundation garment;
She’s trying to get someone’s attention, or any attention, for that matter.
Pitiful! I couldn’t tell if that was a trumpet
:wang: 
solo or a Charlie Chaplin retrospective. She would
have done better twirling a baton or mouthing an
organ.
Happy freaking New Year, Zilla mavens.
Uhhh, number 6 on the Top Ten Worst Realtor Photos is a guy from Arizona who owns (literally) huge chunks of the Phoenix area. The guy is one of the most successful landowners / landlords in Arizona history. To top it off, while he looks lame, he is really nice and isn’t afraid to own and improve strip malls in the crappy part of town. It’s from this guy that we get $2.50 movie seats and cheap but tasty popcorn. He also has the biggest display of Christmas lights at his “investment” company that I have seen anywhere. It is stunning.
So…he may be ugly, but he has survived a meeting with Dick Cheney and has the photograph to prove it.
Long live Rich Mr. Mulletstache!
Sorry, Mr. Pollack, no disrespect meant.
I think Pablo has something there. The guy has telekinetic powers, he was literally undressing her with his eyes.
Hey, what’s up with the comments being closed on the new post? I wanna share my New Years resolutions!
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Fixed. I have no idea what caused that.
LARP’s I’d suspect.
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Looks like someone forgot to tell Brunhilda that in order to haul those puppies around, she’s gonna need a bigger boat.
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Dude, that’s hiliarious!
you all know the deal…we all see these big women trying to fit into small cloths all the time…try and put a bowling ball in the hole for a golf ball what do you get?