Email chain that won’t die
Dear Dave Zilla,
We are longtime fans of your website DAVEZILLA.COM!! Who are we? Good question. We are a large network of blogger enthusiasts who are partnering to form the largest ad network of bloggers. We only want the top bloggs — like DAVEZILLA.COM!! We want your sight to be one of ours. What do you say?? One click is all it takes to be on your way to securing your financial freedoms.
Joey Balducci, President
JGB Productions
Dear Mr. Balducci,
I am thrilled that you are fans. Are there more than one of you? You asked to have my sight become yours. Are you sure that’s what you want? I am rahter myopic, afterall. I’m not certain what my financial freedoms are. Is there a list of them somewhere? Greatly appreciated.
Your friend,
Davezilla (one word, like Cher or Madonna)
Dear Dave Zilla,
Apologies. I guess we should proofread before mass emailing 1 million blogs. That’s just how we roll at the JGB. Strike while the iron is hot and social media is HOT HOT HOT!!
Joey Balducci, President
JGB Productions
P.S.
Just checked your sight out. Good stuff. Not sure I agree with the politics, but good points overall.
Dear Mr. Balducci,
Politics? Are you sure you have the URL correct? Davezilla.com is not a political site. As for the points, I try to avoid those whenever possible. Keep striking those hotter irons, JB.
Zilla
Yo Dave.
First you tell me you are not two words, but you sign off with ‘Zilla’. What gives? B) I get the feeling you are not being serious with me. That’s fine. I can take it and dish it .
Joey Balducci, President
JGB Productions
Dear Mr. Balducci,
Ya think?
Zilla
Tags: Words.
Striking with hot irons? Now that’s something I haven’t tried yet.
Hahahha… Good stuff.
Iron is hot? In my humble opinion, I think it’s on the down turn, and only going further south.
SMM is certainly an avenue to look at for potential revenue these days, however I don’t feel that it’ll ever become a real long-term strategy.
The only REAL revenue involved, that is ‘potentially’ long term, are those that feed the ads.
Sure, I suppose there are those that have their stories, but will those same business models be in existence in say 10, 20, or 30 years?
Sure took him a long time to figure out you were fucking with him. Good job!
and life around here will never QUITE be the same…
Hey, Dave, you think this Joey is a hyped up 15-17 year old kid who made himself a fancy title or what?
This makes me want to respond to some of my crazy spam emails and hope I get hilarious responses.
Gollllleeee! Dave is gonna go big time on us. Shazam! Gee, Mr. Zilla, kin I have yer autygraph? Maybe when you get to be a gazillionaire like me we can hang out together. I’m waiting for my check to come any day now. I found a way to get rich quick! I’m agonna launder money from Afferca. See there’s this disposed kang and he’s needin’ a way to get his gazillions outta the country. Shhh, gotta keep it on the down low, don’tcha know.
Hey, maybe “Joey” could pull his head out of his ass long enough to actually look at the site before he secures “your financial freedom!”
What a twat!
Unplug the iron! I don’t want Zilla going on strike! He already takes too many vacationz and sick dayz!
You mean those emails from all my rich African dethroned Prince friends are not real???
Pooka Zilla, President PZ Productions
Lets coin a new word - “Undemographicable”
Definition: (adj.) (a) That which makes marketing managers’ brow furrow. (adj.) (b) That which should be aspired to. (adj.) (c) Describes the act of not watching Nascar.
Huzzah, Dave huzzah!
to be honest, if I was going to email lots of blogs asking for something, I would’nt inform them that I wanted to take of thier site.
I wonder if Hitler sent emails to all the countries in Europe saying;
Dear Poland,
We are longtime fans of your country POLAND!! Who are we? Good question. We are a large network of eugenics who are partnering to form the largest empire of nazis. We only want the top countires — like POLAND!! We want your country to be one of ours. What do you say?? Putting your jews in gettos is all it takes to be on your way to securing your financial freedoms.
Adolf Hitler, Furher (sp?) Nazi Party
Dear Mr. Balducci,
I want to pull your eyes out of their sockets in a very slow painful fashion.
Please advise availabilty a.a.s.p.
Your friend, Wonkyzilla - (2words cojoined)
dear danny bonnaducci of (J)oey (G)onad (B)alducci (P)roductions, i was reviewing the postings on mistre zilla’s (actually 3 words) site that you were referring to without having read. don’t tell me there is a sty in my eye when there is a (B)log in your own. although there has been little proo fredding their seems to be financial freedom roaming about in the form of political commentary of which you do not agree. har har. you are a very funny individual. your soul is a bluemolded canteloupe with an empty grey pupal carapace hanging inside it. except for all the togetherness you did not remember to display, i believe that you might be a particle beam that was never turned on. thanking you in advance for looking at yourself in the men’s room mirror at the mega dot com factory you are the huge mogul of and seeing your own super positive jack russell terrier of a mind barking back at itself because their was a glint of fear shining in one of your eyeball’s that you thought was a frisbee. or ufo. striking while the iron is hot makes metal flat but that is how you roll. that is how you dish it because you think like a million yous. it’s all a big shell game and you just happen to be the shell. keep up the good work mr.(one click) president. yours truly, “WE” at the one word.
they are real! they are truly real! 100% for damn-sure-real! just give me you bank account info and i will hook you up with whatshisname from Nigeria whos working on my stash presently.
:wang: these represent a scouts honor. i couldn’t get two fingers on DaveZ’s whachumacallems
Resistance is futile you will be assimilated, “Your sight to be one of ours” I think this is the new your bases belong to us! I say you take this for your own.
Can I use the donation generator on my taxes this year? Sounds legit to me!
Dear Mr. Balducci,
Although your services appear not to fit my situation, may I put you in contact with someone for whom it would be appropriate? His name is the Sultan Of Cleveland…
Sincerely,
Z (one letter)
And another thing….. How the hell can he be a “Longtime Fan” of your site if he didn’t read it until the second email?? WTF!
:wtf: 
Easy, my dear, he’s obviously a thaumaturge.
Nicolette,
Your avatar makes me want to ask my current girlfriend to marry me…if history is to be my guide she will be my next X-WIFE…but what the hell it is fun while it lasts..although quite expensive.
Umm, not to pop any bubbles here, but the ‘Not sure I agree with the X’ line is straight from a standard Blog SPAM program. It isn’t clear from the email string that Joey B ever visited davezilla.com.
He sure can’t read. He never did pick up on mis-spelling ’sight’ when he meant (web)site. I guess Dave was just a bit too subtle there - it went right over the good Joey B.s head.
Dave, please, please tell me that you did report Bozo Balducci for spamming? Please?
Thanks,
Brad K. Ponca City, OK
hey nicolette…can u make a new avatar of yourself sitting up faceing us without your cloths on please?
:wang: 
…and I thought MYOPIC was a dead giveaway.
These numbskulls that don’t give up can be amusing at first but get old rather quickly. I had a guy email me and call me a lair from something I got posted in a print magazine under the reader mail section. He was pretty rude but I thought it was funny so I emailed him back ith more information to show that I wasn’t lying. After a week I sent a copy of the chain to a friend who thought it was so funny he took over responding to the guy for me. The moron never even noticed the change in the “FROM” address and it kept going for 2 months!
OH? BTW Dave I hope your site improves. Maybe you need a new prescription. i recommend Lens Crafters.
Chris S. CS Integrated Marketing Distribution Production Incorporated Company International LLC
Nicolette, do I detect from you avatar an invitation to some weekend action. sweeet!
I have 5 million dollars in a swiss bank account. Please help me bring it home and if you don’t run off with it I’ll give you $50 for your troubles.