Caption Time #208
Image via betamale
Image via betamale
Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments © Dave Linabury 1994-2008. Unrelated to Toho, its products or services.
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there was an old man, a steam roller and a whole lotta pills and that’s all we know
I think they finally caught Grampa choking the chicken!
Or maybe he just wanted to make sure he didn’t get blood on his Sunday go to meeting clothes when he slaughtered the turkey for Thanksgiving.
Ever wonder where people get ideas from. This is deffinately where Rob Zombie got his Devil’s Rejects.
Paging Captain Spaulding.
Looky here Betty Jane Bob, I got this here new fangled outhouse from that there Ikea catalog. For God’s sake tell Cleetus he can’t use it until he finishes building it!
“Look ma! I can make the pan ding without my hand touching it!”
AnnieB’s deranged Uncle Elmer daubing his privates
:P 
with hot sauce. Can’t you control him, hon? Your
cousin Tater is obviously unable to.
I’m sitting here on the “woody” pile sawing my log.
I’m sitting here on the “woody” pile sawing my log.
Please God don’t tell me they’re from Kentucky
[Comment ID #215496 will be quoted here]
More than likely Arkansas.
Look like a family of Hillary-Billies to me.
“Cut!” yelled the director. “No, this will never do. We can’t use this crap for the Elvis movie ‘Kissing Cousins’. Let’s try the other shot, with Pappy and them girlies, the what did we decide? Yeah, those ‘kittie hawks’. Now get Hillary’s brother some clothes, and pick up that kindling!”
And so Elvis, in his Army garbed movie ‘Kissing Cousins’, didn’t have to put up with Uncle Zebediah, Aunt Runie and Ms. Flora the schoolmarm. They did keep the dog, he was a pretty good hound. Besides, Uncle Zeb kept blowing his lines. When prompted with “ICBM” he kept asking “What missles?” instead of the knee slapper Pappy came up with “What BM? Where? I guess my eyes are finally going.”
Lord Benjamin and Lady Charise Medici invite you to attend their house-warming ceremony, to be held on Friday, November 23rd, at 2 PM. Proper attire is recommended to be ‘tux and tails’. The host and hostess will supply champagne and canapes. RSVP
[Comment ID #215492 will be quoted here]
Poor Auntie Mae just can’t take it any more since the doctor gave the old coot Viagra!
Ifn I told him once I told him a hunnert times, I said go outside and SPLIT us some firewood
Yup, Pablo, got it in one!
Ah sed git them thar matches Darnel, quik like now afore Pa gits outta that thar kindlin.
i’ve heard of shitting a brick, and pinching off a log, but never an entire log pile. he must have had a lot of fiber.
Gawd dammit Pa! I tole you them damn documentry people wuz coming today, not that you’un was gonna come today!
I hope you feel better! Get well soon!
if them broads was all there was around i’d be fuckin’ me a wash pan too!
An’ now far this here the rockit launchin’ trick, ama just stick these here matches…..
An’ now far this here the rockit launchin’ trick, ama just strick these here matches…
er, sorry far that there goof up. the second one’s got that thar correrect spellings an’ all
[Comment ID #215846 will be quoted here]
Piles of it.
So what did that compooter feller say agin?
If we want to see the big game over the intar-net, we has to connect my feeder horn to the satellite dish, connect that to my lap-top, reboot and log on. Well I done all that. Ma, go see if Cleetus caught that mouse yet. The compooter feller sed that we can’t do nuthin without a mouse.
The Simple Life, Season 42
The ladies are not too happy. Neither one wants to be the one who has to pull the splinters out of his ass again.
speaking of wood…..nicolette is creating a lot of it around here.
:wang: 
:wang: 
Ah, I see the new “Resident Evil” videogame has finally hit shelves. My captio would be:
“Resident Evil 5: The Whitening”
This is what happens when the porn industry tries to reach the wrong new target audience.
[Comment ID #215860 will be quoted here]
Not that I can do anything about it. I threw mmy back out yesterday!
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You have the most beautiful Out-Back I have ever seen. Hope you feel better.
*see AnnieB’s avatar*
Nicolette-Love the new look.
Oh, and get better Dave!
[Comment ID #215868 will be quoted here]
Thank you Astryd, and thanks Fleetwood. BTW Dave…. hope you feel better soon. Holidays can be shitty enough without being sick!
Uncle Dad Jim Bob demonstrates how he “chops wood.”
VERN! COME GIT YER PA!
HE’S A-TRYIN TA LIGHT HIS FARTS AGIN!
Velma, whump im up side the head agin with that stick soas I kin git this far lit. Y’all also need ta git that pan cuz we gunna need it fer the gravy.
Quick! Get grandpa back in the house. He’s done got out and is doing his ‘Woody the Woodpecker’ imitation again!
Question: How much wood could a naked hillbilly chop if a naked hillbilly could chop wood?
Dave, try getting the ZillaGirls to give you a rubdown. I guarantee you’ll forget about the bronchitis!
women flies off in rage after finding husband with her mom.
beverly hillbillies, the lost episodes
There was an old man from Nantucket,
in a bucket …
Who put his
Bobbysuejoe! git the hose out here!.. Jimmybobjhonjoe fergot his meds again!
Looks like my in laws on Thanksgiving.
He’s trapped!! Someone git the hose!!!