Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

“I don’t know what the future may hold, but I know who holds __________ .”

1. Britney Spears Guide to Succesful Parenting
2. Gene Simmons Golden Book of Celibacy
3. Jokes to tell your grandmother, by Gilbert Godfrey
4. Michael Jackon’s Makeup Secrets
5. Rosie O’Donnell’s Art of Being a Lady
6. An Illustrated History of Modesty by Paris Hilton
7. Johnny Cash’s Guide to a More Colorful You
8. Michael Vick’s Big Book of Pets
9. Better English in 30 Days with Flavor Flav
10. Shane McGowan’s Secrets to a Beautiful Smile

Your turn. What books did I miss?

Image via Chris Z.

Murder suspect, Sgt. Drew Peterson and attorney for Dr. Kevorkian, Geoffrey Fieger.

Dear Dave Zilla,

We are longtime fans of your website DAVEZILLA.COM!! Who are we? Good question. We are a large network of blogger enthusiasts who are partnering to form the largest ad network of bloggers. We only want the top bloggs — like DAVEZILLA.COM!! We want your sight to be one of ours. What do you say?? One click is all it takes to be on your way to securing your financial freedoms.

Joey Balducci, President
JGB Productions

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Dear Mr. Balducci,

I am thrilled that you are fans. Are there more than one of you? You asked to have my sight become yours. Are you sure that’s what you want? I am rahter myopic, afterall. I’m not certain what my financial freedoms are. Is there a list of them somewhere? Greatly appreciated.

Your friend,
Davezilla (one word, like Cher or Madonna)

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Dear Dave Zilla,

Apologies. I guess we should proofread before mass emailing 1 million blogs. That’s just how we roll at the JGB. Strike while the iron is hot and social media is HOT HOT HOT!!

Joey Balducci, President
JGB Productions
P.S.
Just checked your sight out. Good stuff. Not sure I agree with the politics, but good points overall.

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Dear Mr. Balducci,

Politics? Are you sure you have the URL correct? Davezilla.com is not a political site. As for the points, I try to avoid those whenever possible. Keep striking those hotter irons, JB.

Zilla

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Yo Dave.
First you tell me you are not two words, but you sign off with ‘Zilla’. What gives? B) I get the feeling you are not being serious with me. That’s fine. I can take it and dish it .

Joey Balducci, President
JGB Productions

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Dear Mr. Balducci,

Ya think?

Zilla