Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

Image via Petal

1. When asked if you have food to declare, ask if human remains count.
2. Tell the patrol official to, “kindly hurry the fuck up.”
3. “No. You cannot look in my trunk. I just met you.”
4. As proof of ID, supply a pact with Satan written in blood.
5. “I’ll have a double cheeseburger and a large Coke.”
6. Recite your responses to the officials to the tune of the opera, Carmen.
7. Pull out one passport randomly from a large stack of them and say, “My name is Bourne. Jason Bourne.”
8. “You didn’t ask me what planet I was born on.”
9. “You know, you sure ask a lot of nosy questions for a rent-a-cop.”
10. What things do you think we shouldn’t do?

trobe (TROBE) adj. A useless idiot. Kind of an asshole.

(My new kitton is a TV addict, btw)