Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

Did you ever own a toy or object that you swore was made by a mentally unstable person? Back when I still dyed my hair colors not known to nature (early 80s) I did a lot of shopping in resale stores and church rummage sales.

At one particularly good rummage sale, I found a bin full of discarded dolls that might prove useful if dismembered and reassembled in some art experiment for school. My friend (another Dave) picked up a misshapen doll and quickly threw it back down, as if it had stung him. As soon as I saw it, I knew i had to buy it. At ten cents, it was a steal. Other Dave named it Weepy.

The more we stared at the doll, the more we were convinced it was made by a very disturbed person. The doll was handmade, sewn in some wretched Holly Hobby fabric with squat nubs for limbs. There were two round pockets on the front, where breasts should be, made from stained, yellow burlap. Sound revolting so far? It gets worse.

The face was a mirror. Yes, your face was reflected in this textile oddity. For hair, the creator had thoughtfully sewn on a squirrel’s tail, bones still intact. At some point, we went to a Nina Hagen concert and I gave it to her. The look she gave me was one of gratitude and surprise that someone had managed to freak even her out.

What creepy toys have you owned?

1. Southside Sommeliers
2. Cockney Scholars
3. Motown Pacifists
4. West Coast UNIX Programmers
5. Cleveland Pussies
6. The Cribs
7. T-Dot Poutineers
8. Well-Adjusted Youths of Baltimore
9. The Aristocrats
10. Which gang names would you like to see?

Based on an idea from Chris Barry