Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

Image via Sirius Bland

1. The probability of spilling stainable liquid on yourself increases with the expense of the article of clothing
2. Rainfall will be greatest when you are 1/2 way walking home. It will abruptly stop upon reaching home
3. The shorter and looser a woman’s skirt is, the greater the chance for hurricane strength winds that day
4. The later you are for work, the greater the probability of getting stuck behind a senior citizen driving 14 mph
5. The probability of your shoes getting vomited on by a pet increases if you’ve just cleaned them

Image via knutmo. In case you need to see all the gory detail, here’s the full size version.

James B (who created this week’s poll) frightened me with a true story about tonsil stones. I have to admit, it was pretty gross. Look up pictures of them on Google Images if you doubt me.

I simply had to get even. I told him about a German fellow who was recently killed and eaten by his pet spiders. I shit you not (If you are arachnophobic, I strongly suggest you do not follow that link). I can’t think of a worse way to go, except maybe:

1. Forced to listen to Celine Dion nonstop for a week
2. Forced to have only meat drinks (See link of the day below)
3. Four more years of the current administration