There’s a story here waiting to be written…
Complete this sentence #27 (182)
Keeping abreast of my readers #2 (152)
What is your kryptonite? (128)
More people we can safely dislike (113)
A pigment of my imagination (106)
Note to Self, No. 6,001 (103)
Keeping abreast of my readers (94)
Caption Time #105 (94)
Top Signs You May Be a Walking Asshole (92)
More people we dislike: The unwashed masses (91)
Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments © Davezilla 2008 |
Freedom-Black and Widgetized by Tina Silva
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I’ve asked you a thousand times bro, quit using my image for your readers amusement!
Hello “Fire Departement Hot Line”
Hey, I thought it would be OK to show your desk after Cleaning Day.
That guy’s obviously not very health-conscious — he’s gonna get carpal tunnel syndrome. He should switch to an ergonomic keyboard.
Three Words,
Oh MY God!
Damn no place for my coffee! :D
Some people should not combine this many vices…
Today is: Feline World Domination. Bow down before the mighty Pussy!
At least he brought a baked potato for lunch
:wtf:Now you KNOW that guy spends way too much time at home and NEVER gets laid.
he should put it in the dishwasher.
/no, not the keyboard
//the whole desk
hmmmm. i would rather check this out than catch a glimpse of his/her dental hygiene.
ps. my cat bit an architect recently because he tried to shoo him off the street. he owns the street and the world and he pwned that architect.
Eew! I can taste the stale cigarette smell under my tongue! Yuck!
So that is what those keys at the top the keyboard are for, they are to hold your smokes! Gosh with a steady diet of smokes, gin, and porn he has acid refux, I am totaly shocked!
Don’t you mean Bow down and :P
An example of the average writer’s work station, you see here the cigarettes, booze and slightly-burnt-yet-still functional keyboard. Such a specimen is often frustrated and bitter and either homicidal or suicidal. For a writer such as this one, it is a rare occurrence to hear the rapid clacking of keys, but more often the rampant curses of “GODDAMN WRITER’S BLOCK!” and “FUCKING STUPID PC! I JUST WANNA LIGHT IT ON FIRE AGAIN! AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!”
Next time on “Human Habitiats” we’ll take a look at a real life cubicle farm where ghostly workers are trapped for eternity.
I guess this is what “leading a life of quiet desperation” looks like.
Respect Milady the Noble and Honorable Pussy, the Apocalyptic of Deep Throcking!
Get on your knees, display reverance and adulation! :P
Prove to the Omnipotent Pussy that you are an upright citizen deserving of the richness and fortune only she may bestow on your…soul! :P :P !!!
Draw her fervent cries to the sky as she deems you the Most Upstanding Educated of Old Throcking in the Hole! :P :P 
:P :P
Damn, That dude gets fuuuuked up!
Just another clue that J.K. Rowland was running out of ideas for Harry Potter stories…
Oopps.. J.K. Rowling… AArrrggghhh!
that’s standing up… :PI am speechless I got nothing.
Again I quote Leonard Cohen:
She stands before you naked, You can see it, you can taste it, And she comes to you light as the breeze You can drink or you can nurse it It don’t matter how worship, As long as your down on your knees
So I knelt there at the delta At the alpha and the omega At the cradle of the river And the seas And like a blessing come from heaven, For something like a second, I was healed and my heart was at ease…
Finally, someone who smokes more than I do! Where’s the damn lifestyle Nazis when you need them?
It might be fun being dominated by a Pussy.
Man…I totally wanna go out with THAT guy.
I wondered what the buttons at the top of the keyboard were for!!!
:java:
True story just happened today my pussy er feline was lying on the key board and every time i came up to it he would smack at me so i figured get the wife to remove the cat still the same problems any ideas ? Now thats pussy err feline domination…
Who said it was a guy? mighty thin looking hands for a bloke…
Its mother must be very happy with it.
One hand holding the cigarette und eine hand auf der keyboard. Nein.
One hand on the keyboard…setzen Sie die Zigarette unten
Scheisse!
Ok, put the zigarette unten der keyboard und die andere Hand auf der keyboard und die andere Hand…
I don’t understand. Are you saying your keyboards DON’T look like mine?!
just when you think you have seen everything..then there is this ….YUCK
Hey! How did you get into my first floor neighbours’ apartment?
Gin, Pepcid, Lucky Strikes- gotta be a news reporter!Where are the Cheese Doodles?
(not the usual kinky stuff) THE STORY There was a dark and stormy night. puff, drag I sat in my dimly lit apartment clicking away at my typewriter in the corner I call my office. puff, drag Business had been so slow in the past couple of years I could not afford a computer. puff, drag The keys were so rusted that it was difficult to type I used only my index fingers puff, drag with full force coming down on each key like a jackhammer. puff, drag My fingertips are sore but there’s work to be done. Lost in my world of ink and paper I suddenly hear the shrill shrieks of a woman in the alley. I dismiss them and continue typing fervently engrossed in the plot paragraph. Again she shreiks. Annoyed I rise from my worn chair and it creaks and squeaks from my wight adjustment, another annoyance. From the second froor of my building I can see the silhouette of a woman running down the alley. What the hell is she doing out this late. The scene is like that of a horror movie and many that I’ve written before. In real life it doesn’t make sense, does humanity truly lack the common sense necessary to survive? I look out the window again…nothing. -sigh- I slowly walk back to my desk dragging my feet dreading the continued pain on my fingertips. I sit still for a moment before I lose myself once more in the world she so rudely yanked me out of. Aaah. Silence. I’m enclosed in the silence of my apartment with the distant lull of city life. My mind flashes quickly to the vision of the woman in the alley. Silhouette only. I wonder what she looked like…maybe I’ll see her picture in the Sunday Journal.
MAN HANDS!!!!!