Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

1. Three course picnic, wine coolers and those adorable glasses from Target!
2. “Do fish prefer Andes’ Mints or Truffles as bait?”
3. “What do you mean, our laughing is scaring away the fish?”
4. “I’m not sure how good these silver hooks are, but aren’t they cute?”
5. “Do these waders make my butt look big?”
6. I’m sure I missed a few, but I am really tired

1. OMGWTFLOLBBQ!!!1!
2. Tuxedo t-shirts
3. Two strippers at the reception. One each for the Groom and the Best Man
4. Kegger
5. Centerpieces would consist of the TV Guide and a remote
6. 60″ LCD TV for watching the game during the service
7. Bridesmaid Wet T-Shirt Competition
8. In place of the Top 40 DJ, Motorhead will be playing a private concert
9. Hockey jerseys for the Ushers
10. What else would men plan?

1. No matter how many women a man sleeps around with, he can always get his true love back by making puppy dog eyes at her in a nightclub
2. While Latino men need to bundle up in thick winter coats in Southern California, Latina women find that hot pants and a sequined bra are the perfect outfit for any weather condition: hot, cold or monsoon
   
3. Cellphones have outstanding reception, even in remote Mexican ghost towns
4. Drum machines are actually powered by an old Cuban man with a straw hat and congas
5. It is not only acceptable to go to a formal dance in Doc Martens and black lingerie, it is admirable; within minutes, everyone in the room will follow suit by losing their suits
6. Every small town has a black tie nightclub, in which all cheating lovers can be found
7. All bouncers have greased-back ponytails
8. Low riders bounce perfectly to Reggaeton beats
9. The better a Latina is dressed, the more likely she is to get nasty in an oily, mechanic’s garage
10. What have you learned?

They were repairing the elevator in our lobby this week and I couldn’t help noticing the name of the repair company.