Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

1. The owners of American Girl dolls for being such bitches
2. Mothers who ignore their child when it screams so loudly that banshees flee in terror.
3. Mel Gibson, for proving once again, he is an utter bastard
4. Mysoginistic Moroccans
5. People who call me up and then immediately put me on hold.

1. DrySpace - A place for recovering alcoholic friends
2. DepriveJournal - Please don’t write anything personal
3. Clogger - The Official Blogging Software of the Dutch
4. EraseBook - Forget about college
5. Knickr - The best way to store, search, sort and share photos of your girlfriend in her underwear.
6. BlurredPress - Like You Can Read
7. PhotoSuckIt - Where 38 Million People Aren’t
8. DeadEndster - Face it. No One You Know is Here.
9. Movable Gripe - Your Thoughts. Sent to the Entire Office.
10. Cultiply - Sell your soul to your friends

Normally I don’t reprint email, respecting the privacy of my readers and because I have better things to do. However, when I am specifically requested to reprint said communiqué by none other than the Sultan of Cleveland, well, what can one do? I give you, unabridged, yesterday’s fan mail:

Dear Mister DaveZilla,
Yo bitch! I am back from the Graet Beyond to remind you of my Second Comming. I know you missed me. Right?? Huh? Pretty Please with Lemurs on Top? I am atncipating the arrival of spring and all the miniskirts and shit. Tomorrowday is the first day of the Spring Solstice. Or is it Equinocks? I fogret. Anyhoo, Your’e name came up because I was jerking off to furry sex at work and we talked about websights that are of good value. And have potential to stick around Your sight is at least 3-4 years old, righty tighty? Maybe its older I do not noes. BTW I have gas today so avoid my cubical. It’s pretty bad. You’d think I was shitting skunks and squirels. I may not recvoer. Evar.Yes I now my spelling sux ass. I am not caring about that .Only caring about the spring shit. OK Bad joke time: I thought I had sex with a nun, turned out i fucked a penguin. You love me long time.

stop making sence,
Yours in Dung,
The Sultan of Cleveland