How many fingers am I holding up?
Image suggestion via Larfus, photo by RussellReno
Fuckle: v. To really screw something up. Won’t get you in trouble to say it. At least not right away.
Ex. Darn it all, this Windows Vista sure is fuckled up.
Janx: v. Past tense of jinx. Or should be.
Ex. I janx that bitch, but good.
Pune: adj. Something disgusting. Something that smells bad. (On a side note, how come we can impune, but not pune?)
Ex. John’s bedroom was so puned out.
Scene: Natalie and I are eating Thai in what we thought was a private booth. Behind us was a grandmother and her two unruly grandchildren.
Grandmother: Mawcus? Mawcus! You’ve taken in too much food. Spit it out. Spit it out right now, young man. Right here. Spit it out on the table.
Marcus: Plplpltew!
Granddaughter: Ew!
Grandmother: That’s bettah.
Marcus: Grandma? Who is better? Me or my cousins?
Grandmother: No one is better.
Marcus: But you said my cousins have better manners. So that makes them better.
Grandmother: I nevah said that. I said they had bettah mannuhs. That doesn’t make them bettah than you.
Marcus: Grandma? Who is Grandma Rose?
Granddaughter: That’s Grandma’s grandma, stupid!
Grandmother: Nevah tawk to your brothuh like that. She’s your great grandma, that’s who.
Granddaughter: That’s what I said.
Grandmother: Finish your food. I’m tawking to your brothah.
Marcus: Grandma? Who is your great grandma?
Grandmother: That was hundreds of years ago. No one knows. Finish your food.