A letter to the inventor of the automotive visor
Dear Visor Engineers:
I am writing a letter to express my disappointment with your products. I understand that as automotive engineers go, your job is not a glamorous one. Indeed, yours is on the bottom rung of the engineering ladder, right below the windshield (windscreen) wiper engineers.
That said, I think you could do better. No, I’m not trying to make the world of the visor more exciting. Don’t kid yourself. You’ll never play in the wind tunnels alongside the aerodynamics engineers. Nor will you get to road test with the Brake and Shock engineers. Yours is a life of quiet desperation. Let’s try harder. I have some ideas for you.
Invent a visor that actually blocks out the sun.
I know that’s a shocking concept for you, but we consumers would praise you for it. This has two parts:
- Making them wide enough to span the entire width of the windshield / windscreen.
- Make the expandable in length so that those not blessed with height, such as my significant other, can reap their radiation-blocking benefits as well.
I know this requires a paradigm shift on your part, indeed on the part of your entire staff of what … two engineers?
I’m doing this for you. I want to see you in the headlines for once. Imagine. A car visor that actually did what it was meant to do. Go on. Seize the idea as your own. I’m sick of sun in my eyes.
Sincerely,
Davezilla
P.S., Tell your friends in the wiper department I will be contacting them soon. Just a quick note about the line of vision never being wiped.
Tags: Words.
Should combine their efforts with the turn signal engineers ( another highly technical group!)
Dave, the height-challenged peoples are forever grateful.
Let’s not forget front seat side windows.
I think I was waiting for Dave to be interviewed in that video on # Video of the Day #2: A growing phenomenon called “Internet”
It is rumored he started it all, you know.
Visors were excreted, not invented.
Years ago, I had a small pickup. It had a visor that slid along a rod, allowing it to be moved from the front of the side window (for the height impaired) to the back of the side window. It was useful.
SO… of course… they stopped making it. Now, there’s a 4-inch gap between the visor and the door post, allowing (forcing?) the sunlight in where I need it least.
They can make a visor with a fully-stocked beauty salon but they can’t make it slide.
Wipers? You can set the pulse rate to whatever’s on the radio, but they still can’t remove the day-to-day schmutz at the driver’s eye level.
Get rid of the windows, I say. Yeah, that’ll about do it.
Hear Hear! Thanks for bringing to light something that has affected us vertically challenged drivers since cars were invented. Perhaps someday the visor inventor will achieve fame and glory and have his day in the sun (hmm!)
Used cars don’t lose value as fast as new cars
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
To live
They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin’ great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet
Well, I don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
Don’t want no short people
Round here
Bless you for writing this Dave.
:kiss: 
Make the window A large heads up display that puts a nice semi transparent dot right on the sun.
But it could malfunction turning your whole window flat black making your car unsteerable.
I see a recall coming.
The women in Chattanooga use turn signals to hang
their handbags on. Many of the men also. A little
sun in your eyeballs prevents cataracts.
Remember,on your drive in to work you need the sunshine directly in your hung over eyeballs to tell you that last night really happened.They stll sell a stick up contact patch to go on the windshield wherever you need it.
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quoting Randy Newman will not get you anywhere with us midgets …
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How about this then?
I smell a class action suit. The lawyers will band together and sue the auto industry for discriminating against the vertically challenged. After that they will take on the amusement parks with their nose in the air attitude of you must be this tall to ride. Next the pork counsel for allowing small people to be called Pigmies.
When it is all said and done, the money is dispersed, huge quantities of elevator shoes are purchased and tall stools are brought to the banquet tables a large chorus of voices will be raised to the sky for all to hear,
“We represent the Lollypop guild, the Lollypop guild, The Lollypop guild, and we welcome you to Munchkinland.
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I’ve always preferred “You can leave your hat on” to “Short People”. It applies to folks of all heights…
The sarchasm here is very wide…
Just get an autonomous vehicle like “Stanly†here, it is completely driverless. You should just technically jump in it and say Mall please. You can even put labels over all the windows fixing the glare problem.
http://www.autoblog.com/2005/10/11/darpa-grand-challenge-won-by-stanfords-stanley/
Although it is a bit pricey to fix that problem.
Here are some clip on ones I found
http://www.shadetreeonline.com/sunglide/sunglide.htm
http://www.visorshade.com/
Both good points Dave but I wonder why they think they have to put as many controls on the steering colum as posible. My point, whatever happened to the headlight dimmer switch on the floor…oh yeah a simple toe tap was far to easy.
Question about the poll: If a body part is listed in the poll, does it become less useless than those not listed, as it was useful in the poll and the unlisted ones were not?
Hey, it’s either this or watch the Oscars…
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Bjorn, I think by being listed in the poll they have exceeded thier usefullness and therefore are more useless than before.
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So they’re being usefully useless? Unfortunately, that describes my career.
AMEN!!!
I still miss the little triangular vent windows…for fine tuning airflow without letting rain and snow in; for letting out smoke amd odeurs, etc.
“I’m an old man now and I have known a great many problems in my life, most of which never happened.†— Mark Twain
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AKA: Wind Wings
Oooh! This is one of those “don’t get me started” topics. You addressed it brilliantly. I’m sending people from my blog ( http://uigeek.com/ ) to read your letter to the engineering team.
And I’m with Lake Effect, “wind wings” should be on every car. My old pickup has ‘em, and for the 3 years the AC was out, and time the driver’s side window wouldn’t go down, they are priceless. They probably reduce gas mileage or something.
p.s. I have a local friend who goes by Davezilla, too.
Having been a passenger for most of my life, I wholeheartedly agree. And what about those in the back seat? ‘Cause you know that somehow a crack of light is gonna make it back there and stare you right in the eye. Ow, my eyes!
yea…you gotta give’em a break, what? wtf am i saying?
come on viser dudes i don’t wanna burn my eyes out!