Dear Mistre Dave Zilla

Posted by Davezilla 14 February, 2007 Latest: Mandy, blustpie, The Sultan of Cleveland, cbatdux, Meagan,

Normally I don’t reprint email, respecting the privacy of my readers and because I have better things to do. However, when I am specifically requested to reprint said communiqué by none other than the Sultan of Cleveland, well, what can one do? I give you, unabridged, yesterday’s fan mail:

Dear Mistre Dave Zilla,
I know your real name sin’t ZIlla it’s Linaburty so I address you by your real name, the name you gave yourself. it is m9ore poewrful than nay amulet . Nay, more powerful than a +3 sword of Enchantrment!!Lissen I love your sight, It cracks me up every day at work and my girlfriends love it to. I have 3 girlfriends now, did I tell yuou? I rock so hard.Can’t touch this. That’s because how I role. I know you will want to print this emaile because it’s funny and so everyone will link tyo my blog. UH OH SHOOT DARN!!!! I didn’t make a blog yet. I will tho just you wait.I love Mandy and if she will go out with me I will kick out my other 3 girlfriends,. No wait she can be the 4th!! Yes!!!!!1!! +4 Elfin Chain Mail in da hizzy.Sorry to bug you all the time but sionce I am your hero I can do that HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

you could be wrong i could be right,
Yours in Dung,
The Sultan of Cleveland

Tags: .

40 comments:

  1. Spud, 14, February 2007, 1:37 |  

    Nobody move, keep vewy still and maybe it will pass by, is that a siren I hear in the background?

    Inspiring stuff Dave, thanks for sharing with the class…

    :wtf:

     
  2. pablo, 14, February 2007, 1:49 |  

    How do you feel about manifestos?

     
  3. Night Queen, 14, February 2007, 1:56 |  

    :wtf: More like an insult to Cleveland, among other things. :roll:

     
  4. Minnie, 14, February 2007, 2:16 |  
    Minnie

    What the heck is “yours in dung” anyway?! Is he a dung beetle in addition to being a Sultan of Cleveland?

    What a hoot. I hope he writes to you more often. :lol:

     
  5. Minnie, 14, February 2007, 2:17 |  
    Minnie

    And I think Mandy would rather have a root canal than be this wacko’s fourth.

     
  6. Anna, 14, February 2007, 3:38 |  

    I am especially interested in “how he role”.
    Also, my feelings are hurt …. I have to make more risque remarks I guess … to be on his list of girlfriends?

     
  7. adognamedgromit, 14, February 2007, 3:40 |  

    Ignore him.
    It is Borat again. :wtf:

     
  8. sledge, 14, February 2007, 7:16 |  

    Woo more some better fine wurds then that

     
  9. Jason, 14, February 2007, 7:48 |  

    Wow… I knew all along Cleveland was the place to be.

     
  10. StevieC, 14, February 2007, 7:50 |  

    To everyone in ‘ZillaLand:

    Happy Unimaginative, Consumer-Oriented and Entirely Arbitrary, Manipulative, and Shallow, Interpretation of Romance Day

    Cheers :java:

     
  11. Minnie, 14, February 2007, 7:58 |  
    Minnie

    Touché…

    Thanks, Stevie! :D

     
  12. misterarthur, 14, February 2007, 8:02 |  
    misterarthur

    Uh, if this is one of your consistent readers, perhaps I should have thought twice before registering.

     
  13. Mikeme, 14, February 2007, 8:03 |  
    Mikeme

    Sounds like a Browns fan!!

     
  14. misterarthur, 14, February 2007, 8:03 |  
    misterarthur

    Davezilla is Mistre Know it All.

     
  15. Bigwavdave, 14, February 2007, 8:39 |  

    The comfort of others is not the concern of the Sultan.

    Re: Kitty Spank - - - Mandy, what do you say, shall we give it a go? :twisted:

     
  16. Lung the Younger, 14, February 2007, 8:52 |  

    The Pasha of Pitstberg..Pistbur..Pit….Dang!
    The Maharajah of Minyappolis..Minniaples..Shoot!
    The Caliph of Cincinatty..Cinsinattie..Aw crap!
    The Shah of Filidelfia.. Phillydelph…Godamt!
    The Czar of Milwalkie…Milwakie..Sheeit!
    The Kaiser of Albekerkie….Albuquirky…Phooey!
    The Emir of Okalehoma…Oclahomer..Aw balls!
    The Sultan of Cleveland. Hell yeah! Totaly. The Sultan of Cleveland rokcs!

     
  17. Peaches, 14, February 2007, 10:06 |  

    Was that in honor of “lame e-mail day”…
    The sultan does sound like Borat.

    Happy Valentines Day everyone! :kiss: :kiss:

     
  18. Anita, 14, February 2007, 10:08 |  

    Wow, I never get fun e-mails like that! :wtf:

     
  19. junkman, 14, February 2007, 10:22 |  

    derea dung,
    i like yrou e-m9aile. it was poerwrful to Zilla Linaburty. you rae like a gerat wissard with wrods. UH oH!! Dave has use +5 jou ju magik staff on tyuou. HAHAHAHAHA. if yrou girlfreinds will be stollen. NO WAIT!!!!! Mandy can!! sionce she is the +10 enchantrmentess. when you go li8mp from hre spell. happy valnetines fro all but yuou.
    re3membre!!!! bettre loved than may6be not,
    miSTRE junKMAN

     
  20. Wayne, 14, February 2007, 13:47 |  

    [Comment ID #86795 will be quoted here]

    Actuqally mor funnie than tha oregnol!!

    :P

     
  21. MRDOUG, 14, February 2007, 13:56 |  
    MRDOUG

    Oh my god no comments from Mandy! Crap the sultan already has taken her for #4! Oh no what are we going to do?

    Dave can you use your “Hero” powers to help?

    Ann, now is your time to shine, no more dancing doggies, for the love of all things Zilla, update that icon of yours and show us your :undies:

     
  22. smallhalo, 14, February 2007, 16:20 |  

    “a +3 sword of Enchantrment!”

    omg! he a WoW player!! KILLLLLL!!! ITTTT!!! :puke: :limp: :sad:

     
  23. Spud, 14, February 2007, 16:24 |  

    Lung, your imagination runs away with you, very clever by half.

     
  24. Sweet T, 14, February 2007, 16:32 |  

    [Comment ID #86764 will be quoted here]

    I Second that motion ! :lol:

     
  25. Flash Gordon, 14, February 2007, 18:31 |  

    Sorry, clev9lund, the lovely Mandy is alreddy
    promused to the Califf of Chattynoogie. Crawl back
    into yo whole. :roll: :evil: :sad: :sad: :twisted: :wtf:

     
  26. Joe-the-ragman, 14, February 2007, 18:35 |  

    Mandy is NOT exclusive - :twisted: Mandy belongs to all Zilla’s :wang: :wang: So dream on! ! ! :P

     
  27. Mandy, 14, February 2007, 19:19 |  
    Mandy

    Happy valentines day, Dave! :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:

     
  28. Mandy, 14, February 2007, 19:20 |  
    Mandy

    Whoa, guess I should read the comments first!
    [Comment ID #86852 will be quoted here]

    :wtf:

     
  29. adognamedgromit, 14, February 2007, 19:56 |  

    Wishing all the ladies a Happy Valentines Day.
    —-;–

    Gromit

     
  30. adognamedgromit, 14, February 2007, 19:57 |  

    Hey it clipped my rose

     
  31. blustpie, 14, February 2007, 20:06 |  

    :mrgreen:dude! i like your style your just being true to yourself!!!!!! :limp:keep going!

     
  32. The Sultan of Cleveland, 14, February 2007, 20:17 |  

    Oho! You printed me Daveyboy!! I am so special indeedly do. What!?! You get 3 kisses from Mandy and I get noighthing? OMGWTFROTFLMAOBITCH! Yiou know I am the right one for you. I am ten time the man Dave ZIlla is.. And not as white. I ware real colors. Methinks he is a Muslom. :wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

     
  33. cbatdux, 14, February 2007, 23:08 |  

    Lung is a GOD.

    Mandy, Anna, Minnie are all babes - happy valentine’s to you all - in a non-commercial manner.

    Dave - I will stop sending you e-mails - fearful you will publish.

    Doesn’t this site have spell-chcek?

     
  34. Anna, 15, February 2007, 2:59 |  
    Anna

    [Comment ID #86821 will be quoted here]

    but Mr. Doug … the dancing dog is a fair and accurate description of me.
    If you need to see my :undies: … here they are :thong: :thong: :thong:

     
  35. adognamedgromit, 15, February 2007, 10:12 |  

    Dave can you fix the rose in my post.
    You are the all powerful admin. :mrgreen:

     
  36. Meagan, 15, February 2007, 10:25 |  

    As a writer I’m apalled by the countless errors in that email. But as someone who likes nonsensical humour, that’s just… wow!

    And uh, by the way, it’s my birthday. Yup, I was born on Valentine’s Day. Not to brag or anything that is. :P

     
  37. adognamedgromit, 15, February 2007, 10:54 |  

    He did say “you could be wrong i could be right,”
    I am sure that counts for spelling too.

     
  38. Minnie, 15, February 2007, 11:13 |  
    Minnie

    [Comment ID #86997 will be quoted here]

    Happy Birthday, Meagan!! :java: :lol:

     
  39. Spud, 15, February 2007, 16:01 |  

    Yeah, Happy Birthday Megan! :D

     
  40. Meagan, 15, February 2007, 17:23 |  

    Thanks guys! :lol:

    And Happy Valentine’s Day without the meaningless commercialism everyone! :kiss: