Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

1. Spray Cheese
2. Canned Sausage. The power of Christ compels you!
3. Boxed Wine. Wrong, wrong wrong.
4. Squeeze Mayo and Margarine
5. Spray Cooking Oils
6. Goober
7. Tofurkey
8. Mac & Cheese Loaf. Makes the Baby Jesus cry.
9. Instant Mashed Potatoes. Come on. How lazy can you be?
10. What fake foods freak you out?

Guest author: Natalie

The next time you spill coffee on your expensive Irish cableknit sweater, do not use a red Christmas nakpin to mop it up. Now it has a permanent, red smear covering the permanent, brown coffee stain.

1. Women in front of me at the airport Xray who wear knee-high lace up boots
2. People who try to parallel park while on the cell phone
3. The coworker who ate the last bagel before you got one
4. Complete strangers who email me and demand that I design, build and host a blog for them so they can be the next Davezilla
5. People who just stink