Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

52 comments:

1. pablo, 25, January 2007, 1:42 |  
   Around here they give you a sprinkle insteas of a schmear. The scary part to me is they still gave you butter too. Keep that up and your new address will be Heartattack & Vine.

    
2. cows go moo, 25, January 2007, 1:42 |  
   

   :puke:

   “I like totally tried to get into First Life and those dudes were like, sorry man, you’re totally not old enough. I was like, WTF! Then I found out about Teen FL, and everything’s cool now.” –Aaron, 15

   Man, totally harsh
   Can I get a second life?? I want a refund

    
3. Spud, 25, January 2007, 1:44 |  
   Ha! very nice, could I have that in something bacon.

    
4. Big Ship, 25, January 2007, 3:25 |  
   Disgusting - but I want one.

    
5. Brad K., 25, January 2007, 4:35 |  
   Umm… that ‘link of the day’ … that wouldn’t rate as kiddy porn, would it? The models appear younger than 18/21. And nekkid.

    
6. Lung the Younger, 25, January 2007, 4:42 |  
   Ah Dave, you forgot that old Pennsylvania saying:
   Never order cheese in Philadelphia, cherries in Pittsburg nor sushi in Altoona.

    
7. Lung the Younger, 25, January 2007, 4:44 |  
   GOOD GOD!
   Brad K is capable of a two-line comment. Go figure.

    
8. Stevie C, 25, January 2007, 5:59 |  
   Looks like you got the David Caruso Special - heavy on the cheese.

    
9. Penguin Pete, 25, January 2007, 6:35 |  
   Reminds me of “Bellisle’s”, if I remember that name right. Go to Disneyland in California, drive a block down Harbor blvd, and check out the place on the corner (I think it’s motto is “5 out of 4 eat here.”) Their thing is huge, ridiculous portions. Order a steak and get the whole cow, etc.

    
10. Buck, 25, January 2007, 7:29 |  
    Looks like a hunk of feta cheese.

     
11. Buck, 25, January 2007, 7:29 |  
    Looks like a hunk of feta cheese.

     
12. Buck, 25, January 2007, 7:29 |  
    Looks like a hunk of feta cheese.

     
13. Anna, 25, January 2007, 7:32 |  
    They probably want you to ask for a doggy bag ….. take it home and do something “fun” with it …. :boob:

     
14. Anna, 25, January 2007, 7:34 |  
    That would be a good ‘poll question’.
    What to do with cream cheese on a boring thursday night.

     
15. Nikki, 25, January 2007, 8:17 |  
    

    In Philly, the cream cheese eats you.

     
16. Sher, 25, January 2007, 8:18 |  
    Maybe they thought you were kinda cheesy.

     
17. Bigwavdave, 25, January 2007, 8:31 |  
    [Comment ID #84519 will be quoted here]

    I’m stunned someone else remembers Bellisles. Used to be on the corner. BIG food. Been gone for a few years.

     
18. junkman, 25, January 2007, 8:32 |  
    are you sure it wasn’t lard?

     
19. Bigwavdave, 25, January 2007, 8:58 |  
    Cheap bastards only gave you one “portion” for the entire bagel.

     
20. MJaz, 25, January 2007, 9:23 |  
    True story:

    We stopped for coffee one morning at a local convenience store. My daughter ordered a bagel and cream cheese. No sooner were we back on the highway, when my daughter says “Mom.. there’s something wrong with the cream cheese”.

    I was at a turnaround exit, so we went back. The “bagel chef” nods when I show her this dripping white (eeeewwww) stuff on the bagel and says, in a thick hispqnic accent.. “we are out of”. OK. Ummmm? You are out of what? Huh?

    Another woman walks up and looks at the drippy bagel and questions her. Turns out, they were out of cream cheese, so the preparer just used sour cream instead.

    I mean.. whats the big deal, right? They are both white.

     
21. Zilla the Younger, 25, January 2007, 9:31 |  
    My wife and I were at a 5-Star restaurant in Vegas, I ordered a Ceasar salad. They brought me an entire head of Romaine lettuce, with the end cut off, stuffed in a crouton bread ring with a side of dressing and tried to charge me $9.95 for it.

     
22. Mitch, 25, January 2007, 9:59 |  
    

    Actually looks about right for both halves of the bagel.

    Just presented in a scary manner.

    Anyone who has a “Bruggers Bagels” will note that there is a full ice cream scoop of Cream Cheese per bagel. They just close it all up for you, and wrap it in paper.

     
23. Natalie, 25, January 2007, 10:40 |  
    I also don’t understand the butter and cream cheese thing.

    One time, I was getting a bagel at a deli and heard the woman in front of me ask for butter and light cream cheese on her bagel. What’s the point? Doesn’t the butter cancel out the “light” part?

     
24. Davezilla, 25, January 2007, 11:02 |  
    

    [Comment ID #84545 will be quoted here]

    Right. When I was a bartender eons ago, a lot of women would order a, “rum and diet Coke,” or a screwdriver (vodka + orange juice) in order to stay healthy.

     
25. sledge, 25, January 2007, 11:06 |  
    looks like a heart attack on a plate. Now if you could only deep fry that

     
26. Sher, 25, January 2007, 12:09 |  
    Maybe they looked at you and thought……
    clothing to white ratio = creamcheese to bagel ratio.

     
27. Atryd, 25, January 2007, 13:23 |  
    [Comment ID #84543 will be quoted here]

    I prefer to have more than not enough.

     
28. BryGuy, 25, January 2007, 13:35 |  
    it’s a pretty sorry lookin bagel to begin with. Was there hair in that brick of cream cheese?

     
29. Tara, 25, January 2007, 13:39 |  
    Butter and cream cheese is like gravy on fries. Sometimes it’s like, “Enough already, with the fat!”

     
30. Anton, 25, January 2007, 14:43 |  
    [Comment ID #84546 will be quoted here]

    Goes right along with the woman at McDonalds yesterday ordering a double quarter pounder, extra cheese, super sized fries and a diet coke.

     
31. Atryd, 25, January 2007, 14:56 |  
    Exactly!! When consumers convert fat-free products into free fat!

    You have to try popcorn with nacho cheese & jalapenos!!

     
32. Spud, 25, January 2007, 17:27 |  
    [Comment ID #84554 will be quoted here]

    There is NEVER enough fat fried with fat!! gravy on chips is an institution in these parts south of the equator…

    

     
33. Meagan, 25, January 2007, 17:42 |  
    [Comment ID #84554 will be quoted here]

    You’ve obviously never tried poutine, a French-Canadian dish of fries, cheese curds and a WHOLE LOT OF GRAVY.

    That bagel looks like it came from Tim Horton’s.

     
34. OCBeavis, 25, January 2007, 17:56 |  
    [Comment ID #84535 will be quoted here]

    I thought I was the only who remebered that place. BWD and PP definitely have it right about the portion size.

    Would you like some bagel to go with your cream cheese?

     
35. cows go moo, 25, January 2007, 18:53 |  
    

    ahhh. . . you can almost feel your arteries clogging

     
36. Spud, 25, January 2007, 19:05 |  
    You know Megan, Poutine just sounds wrong, kinda like something you just spat out.

    ello ello, wat iz thees? ah … ah ….poutine!

    scuse em wah

    

     
37. Driver, 25, January 2007, 19:08 |  
    [Comment ID #84570 will be quoted here]

    Amen Spud , my favorite is Chili Cheese Fries
    { taters smotherd with beef chili no beans smotherd with melted chedder cheese smotherd with sour cream .

    MMMMMMM thats good eats !

     
38. Mikeme, 25, January 2007, 20:01 |  
    

    I say screw the bagel, and get a couple of nice donuts!!

     
39. chinabear, 25, January 2007, 21:57 |  
    

    Donuts are easier to screw than bagels….

     
40. Penguin Pete, 25, January 2007, 22:54 |  
    [Comment ID #84528 will be quoted here]
    With lines like this from Anna, why does Mandy get all the attention?

     
41. mikeB, 25, January 2007, 23:20 |  
    

    [Comment ID #84588 will be quoted here]

    Dude, seriously. Have you seen Mandy? :wang:

     
42. cronewynd, 25, January 2007, 23:35 |  
    [Comment ID #84590 will be quoted here]

    So, what am I, chopped liver?
    

     
43. Nikki, 25, January 2007, 23:44 |  
    

    [Comment ID #84590 will be quoted here]

    I concur. Mandy is TEH hawtness.

     
44. Mandy, 26, January 2007, 0:45 |  
    

    [Comment ID #84590 will be quoted here]

    [Comment ID #84594 will be quoted here]

    Aw, thanks guys! (bats eyelashes)

     
45. Spud, 26, January 2007, 5:08 |  
    Oh yeah, those summer pics from last year were the good stuff.

    Do we have an update anytime soon perchance?

    (bats eyelashes)

     
46. Lisa, 26, January 2007, 13:44 |  
    

    Whenever I’m in Manhattan, I have to remember to specify “light schmear…light cream cheese.” If I could order it with a screwdriver (no-carb oj with an extra shot of vodka), I’d be all set for the day.

     
47. Mandy, 26, January 2007, 18:25 |  
    

    [Comment ID #84621 will be quoted here]

    Spud! Wouldn’t you want to wait until summer when I’m wearing less?

     
48. Spud, 26, January 2007, 19:32 |  
    Yes, you’re right, less is more, it’s just that it’s summer here in the antipodes and I kinda forgot about it being winter up there, although I’m sure being creative on a bearskin rug in front of a roaring fire would be in all likelihood inappropriate…

    

     
49. Meagan, 28, January 2007, 16:28 |  
    [Comment ID #84578 will be quoted here]

    That’s why I stopped eating it.

    

     
50. Meagan, 28, January 2007, 16:37 |  
    Oh, and there’s no way you guys are seeing the boob shots I took on Friday. I was WAAAAAAAAAY too drunk when I took those.

     
51. Ms Puppet Launcher, 30, January 2007, 7:27 |  
    

    [Comment ID #84825 will be quoted here]

    Oh now you’ve teased us. C’mon. Show us the puppies. I’ll show mine too. :boob:

     
52. Meagan, 31, January 2007, 12:01 |  
    I think I’d have to be drunk again to do that.