Stores that never made it, Part II
Sunday, we laughed at examined store names that might be construed as really damn stupid less than optimal. Today, we examine stores that combine unrelated industries under the same umbrella, like those gas stations that make donuts. Blecch.
For example, years ago, I went to San Francisco with my then-wife. She had forgotten her ID. Since she was only 24, she didn’t want to be carded. We solved it by stopping at a shop in Chinatown that specialized in hand-scooped ice cream… and photo ID.
- Benny’s Noodles -N- Bait
- Mike’s Dental Supplies and Jackhammers Plus!
- Tire Rotation, Donuts & More
- Tampons, Pads and Anchors, by Millie
- Frank’s Microbrewery & Daycare Center
- Faith Ministries and Hemp Outreach Programs
- Bottled Water and Wastre Removal Plus
- KinderCare and Burn Treatment Center
- Books On Tape and Institute for the Deaf
- What stores would you be afraid to see?
The POC (Pedofile Outreach Centre) and “Read them again and again and again” 2e hand books for children.
“Have a pedicure with your sandwich” diner.
“Loob- and boobjob while you wait”.
Woodsy Owl Costume Shoppe Bar & Grill
Bush’s Haberdashery Emporium & Clairvoyance
Mandy’s Pastry & Tattoo Parlor
Taxi,funeral parlor and convention center.Dentist and pool room.
there is an actual store called beauty and bait in lewes de. git yer hair dun and pick me up sum sqid womun!
Walmart’s evil empire
Buster’s Bait, Tackle, Taxidermy, All Night Adult Video Rental, Bridal Boutique and Sushi bar…
PLEASE specify whether you are fishing or dining when ordering cut fish so we know which box to put it in!!
We had the old “Oil Change and Fried Chicken” place here for a while. Lovely, never tried the chicken.
Personally I’d like to see a gunshop and post office depot.
I live in Columbus, Oh many years ago and there was a store called “Waterbeds n Stuff” … they sold waterbeds… and dildos.
GQ Men’s Wear and Country Bar
Couple of real ones, which (to me) are creepy as hell.
1) Cracker Barrel. Substandard, Uniformly cream colored food along with Substandard, Uniformly Cream colored Merchandise. They are also in the Denny’s club for trying to keep their customers “Uniformly Cream Colored”.
2) For any PA people out there….
Quaker Steak and Lube. I don’t think they do actual lube jobs (Unless you count the Beer for Human-Lube) but the name still gives me the willies. Do they deep fry in 30 weight?
http://www.lubewings.com How disgusting does THAT sound?
McMaster’s Funeral Home and Body Shop.
Dave’s Apothocary and CTL Certification Emporium
Needs, Pins & Prophylactics
Starbuck’s sleep center
Buttplugs & Bran house of Emimas
Unique things X 2
Kevin Federline’s house of class & style
Bjorn Freeh’s Petting Zoo (had to do it)
This is a real one.
Buzz and Bob’s Live Bait and Tackle and CB Repair Shop.
[Comment ID #83989 will be quoted here]
What’s an Emima? Is that like an Enema, but performed while watching “8 Mile”?
[Comment ID #83989 will be quoted here]
You flatter me. Maybe I should add an aquarium section to the zoo?
Catholic Planned Parenthood Center
The Spider Hutt Arachnophobia Clinic
Pedophile Gymboree
Jewish House of German Pancakes
For Mitch: A Cracker Barrelfull of Monkeys
Hooker Museum
Cybersex Cinema
Misanthropes United
Music for the Deaf Institute
Erin Go Braugh Suntanarama
Diabetic Sugar Shack
Man-Boob Bra Boutique
Sweatsuit Lingerie and More!
The Caffeinated Heart Smart Cafe
Golem Discoteque
Monster Salon
Big & Portly Speedo Shop
The Hip-Hop Ballerina Dance Studio
Shaky’s In & Out Plastic Surgery
Punctuation Junction!!!!!!
The Accountant’s Couture
Trikes, Bikes and Dykes
Jerry’s Plumbing and Ice Cream Service.
I used to pass a daycare that had a big painted teddy bear cut out of plywood for their sign. There were chains holding the bear up by his hands, which you didn’t really notice from the front, but from the rear he looked like he was at Guantanamo or something. My wife and I called it the “Bear-in-chains bear.”
Also, I apparently there is a business named WTF.
Joe’s Waxing Parlor and Pancake Hut.
Bill’s Hunting Gear and Vegan Cafe
[Comment ID #83992 will be quoted here]
You know me too well
[Comment ID #83994 will be quoted here]
You don’t have an aquarium? Where are all of the Sea Monkey?
Buster Cherry’s Hymen Stretchers and Hemorrhoidectomies.
Nicole Ritchie’s Dietitian Services and House O’ Nuts.
Billy Bob’s Truck Stop and Cafe. Eat and Get Gas.
Sam and Ella’s Resturant and Bar. This place really existed a few years back in a town not far from mine.
Dusty Bunny’s House of Cheese
Not Your Grandma’s Sex Toy Shop
Tongs, Gongs and Double Dongs
The Insomniac’s Pillow Warehouse
Senor Steve’s Pinatas and China Plates
Make Your Own Pottery and Drugs
Lamps, Stamps and Clamps Galore!
Viral Diseases and Dairy Shack
Satan’s Bible Haven
Dracula’s Tanning Salon and Garlic Hut
[Comment ID #83983 will be quoted here]
Well, if you saw Bowling for Columbine, then you saw that in Michigan you can get a free rifle from a bank by opening a checking account.
Moosepants and Moore
It’s not uncommon to see car washes and laundromats together…
However, I dimly recall a “Pup and Suds” … fast food joint/laundromat combo, in the wilds of Minnesota.
[Comment ID #83984 will be quoted here]
Waterbeds and stuff is still around and they still have the same STUFF. They also sell bongs,hemp clothes, neon candles, and well of course waterbeds.
Lisa …
there really is a Hooker Museum museum in Amsterdam.
They are also planning to have a statue made honoring hookers worldwide (read in in the paper, saw the pictures).
Also a Condom Museum and Shoppe. (”Shoppe” to give it some class.
Every once in a while I see a truck around town that says:
“TLC Plumbing”
Maybe they are extra gentle with your toilet?
Or maybe You get a little extra with your plumbing?
[Comment ID #83992 will be quoted here]
Thank you for that, I think I just fell out of my chair.
I lived in a small town in CT that had a post office slash barber shop. They shared employees and everything. Like Mayberry for heaven’s sake!
I grew up in a small farming community on the west side of san juaqine valley, calif. there was a small farm laber community that had a combanation grocery store, post office and meat market. you could get your welfare check, grocerys and held up all in on stop.