Helpful.
Archive for January, 2007
Anagram Interview with Tom Cruise
DISCLAIMER: Before you scratch your head or send me hate mail, please note that this is a fake interview. It’s not real. OK? The answers were created by rearranging the letters in Tom Cruise [anagramming]. No disrespect is meant. I’m sure he’s a fine person.
Davezilla: So Tom. I hear you’ve been sending rodents to the outer galaxies to find Xenu?
Tom Cruise: Mice tours!
Davezilla: Fascinating. I notice you’re scratching. Did you get kicked in the nuts?
Tom Cruise: (ie. scrotum)
Davezilla: What’s causing your pain, if you don’t mind my asking?
Tom Cruise: Ice tumors.
Davezilla: How do you get rid of those?
Tom Cruise: I cure most. Moist cure.
Davezilla: Now that you’ve been compared to Jesus, how do you plan on ensuring your immortality?
Tom Cruise: I store cum.
Davezilla: The press is always trying to out you.
Tom Cruise: Crime to us.
Davezilla: I won’t do that, but is it true that you have been known to poke the one-eyed sailor?
Tom Cruise: Rectum? I… So?
Davezilla: Just sayin’. So if you were gay, what type of men would you go for?
Tom Cruise: Semi or cut.
Davezilla: As the new Scientology Messiah, how will you protect mankind?
Tom Cruise: Omit curse! I smote cur!
Imponderables
How come olive oil can be extra virgin, but people can’t? Follow my logic here. There’s your garden variety virgins, people who simply have not had sex.
Then there would be the extra virgins, those who willfully avoid it, or are so repugnant that no one will be caught dead sleeping with them. Carrot Top, for example.
