Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

Image via Pablo

1. They can make copiers that can run 500 documents at 120 pages per minute, so why can’t they make a vending machine that accepts a wrinkly dollar bill?
2. Can we make microwaves that read the barcodes on microwave popcorn and reset their own timers so they don’t burn when idiot coworkers set them for 13 minutes?
3. If they can make cold medicine that lasts 24 hours, why can’t they make toothpaste that keeps my teeth clean for an entire day?
4. Why isn’t there toothpaste that tastes great after orange juice?
5. Screw those heat packs for camping. How about socks that stay toasty from the dryer all day?

OK kids, I am off to the wilds of Canada for a few days. I really need it. Have a great holiday! The humor will resume on Thursday, December 28th.

Please leave your peculiar aristocratic titles (see today’s link) in the comments!