Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

1. The earth mother who holds up the entire queue by taking 18 minutes to arrange her carry-on in the overhead compartment, and then complains that the flight is late taking off
2. The prat who holds up the line at the coffeehouse by demanding a 142° latte. As if they can tell.
3. The senior citizen who unfolds 39 crumpled coupons for the cashier (all of which expired a decade ago), and demands they be honored.
4. The buffoon at the ATM who makes everyone wait because she doesn’t know her PIN.
5. The screaming brat who holds up the line through the X-Ray because he doesn’t want to walk through without his shoes on.

Dear Continental,

First of all let me thank you for all the exciting new terms I learned this week, while traveling on your aircraft. News to me:

1. I thought “departure” meant “the time the plane will leave”. I now know that it means, “the time we decide to announce that your plane will be two hours late.”
2. I thought a “Priority” sticker on luggage meant it would arrive first. I now know that it means “Low Priority” and will arrive last on the baggage carousel.
3. I thought “baggage handling” meant by humans, not Hellboy. I guess the old Samsonite ads were accurate.

Once again, I thank you Continental, for this most informative flight.

Sincerely,
Davezilla

Seen in front of me, waiting to board the plane.

Image via Jack

Image courtesy Lung