Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments

38 comments:

1. CroneWynd, 20. November 2006, 1:02
   

   Telemarketers and love-lorn coworkers. Wow, you are on a roll tonight!

    
2. Spud, 20. November 2006, 2:08
   

   That prank call was a beauty, funny as all get out and about time somebody got back at telemarketer’s with something to make them think twice about who they are cold calling. Terrific stuff, it rates right up there with the one a few years ago about a guy asking at a hardware store for butplugs.

   As far as queues go, my personal hatred extends to the galah who stands at the fish and chip shop at lunch time ordering stuff then changing their mind, all in the same breath until it looks like the bloke behind the counter is about to decapitate him with the cleaver.

   Yes sir, that one gets me.

   :geek:

    
3. Mandy, 20. November 2006, 6:14
   

   OMG, that telemarketer call was amazing! You can hear that TM crumbling with fear. MWAHAHAHA

    
4. Amanda B., 20. November 2006, 6:39
   

   Speaking of Co-workers…I’ve only been @ work for 38 minutes and mine is getting on my nerves ALREADY!!!!!

   Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!! :dead:

    
5. mikeB, 20. November 2006, 8:11
   

   The prat who holds up the line at the coffeehouse by demanding a 142° latte. As if they can tell.

   It should be legal to shit such infidels on sight.

    
6. mikeB, 20. November 2006, 8:11
   

   I meant, shoot, not shit.

    
7. Bigwavdave, 20. November 2006, 8:40
   

   Would that be the same screaming brat who winds up sitting next to you on a full flight, squirms enough to kick your tray table, knocking your freshly poured glass of cheap Merlot into your lap, and finally dozes off only to fart some really nasty ones every 5 minutes for the rest of the flight?

    
8. sledge, 20. November 2006, 9:59
   

   Standing in a fast food line up with a little old lady that doesn’t know what to order and when the server asks her to step out of line, sounds off on the kid.Then when she makes up her mind ,thkes twelve minutes to dig the right change out and count it three times..AAARRRRGHGHGHG

    
9. Joe-the-ragman, 20. November 2006, 10:24
   

   The putz who changes lanes to pass a slow driver, and then they don’t pass the car creating a backup in the fast lane.

    
10. Da Popster, 20. November 2006, 11:13
    

    “Shoot such infidels on sight” ?? Better watch your ass, depending on where you say that. How about seniors at fast food restaurants who can’t get their food fast enough. :wtf:

     
11. Amanda B., 20. November 2006, 11:29
    

    The man in line @ the store who is too stupid to READ the pkg. of whatever he just bought, but instead, asks the cashier what kind of batteries the thing takes and then asks her to go get them for him and SHE DOES !!!!

     
12. Nikki, 20. November 2006, 11:55
    

    [Comment ID #80263 will be quoted here]

    I think either should apply. :java:

     
13. MJaz, 20. November 2006, 13:23
    

    The obsessive-compulsive woman in the grocery store, who has to sort all her items on the belt, in a specific order… digging around in the cart, rearranging everything in THERE, and then doing it again for the next item… grrrrrrrr

    Followed closely by the food-stamp people, with 3 carts full of expensive TV ad food, 6 screaming kids, 3 different ‘food program” vouchers to use and then the angry sorting through the bags to get out the items that are not covered, and they dont have the cash for.

    For the record.. these are the last two people I was in line behind in the grocery store

     
14. mikeB, 20. November 2006, 13:28
    

    [Comment ID #80277 will be quoted here]

    I hate when I see said food stamps being used for junk. I used to wonder how poor people could be fat. Then I got behind them in line at the supermarket. :puke:

     
15. Heather, 20. November 2006, 13:52
    

    The ones chewing with their mouth open, smack smack….

     
16. Nicole, 20. November 2006, 15:04
    

    Oh no, I’m the buffoon! I can never remember my stupid PIN. I just stopped using the ATM.

     
17. Myra, 20. November 2006, 15:18
    

    Or the old guy at Starbucks who doesn’t know what a latte or cappucino is. I heard one guy the other day ask the poor clerk if a cappucino had coffee in it!

     
18. Flash Gordon, 20. November 2006, 17:19
    

    What the hell IS a cappucino anyway? I’m from Alabama. :wtf:

     
19. Meagan, 20. November 2006, 17:27
    

    Those drifters who are standing in line but also moving back and forth between the magazine rack and the back of the store, leaving their cart there thinking it’ll hold their place. Just make up your mind already or I’m gonna jump the line.

     
20. Meagan, 20. November 2006, 17:30
    

    I also have a bone to pick with those grocery baggers who don’t know how to bag groceries properly. If I even see you putting those cans of tomato sauce in with the eggs, I’ll rip your name tag off and shove it up your ass!

     
21. Bigwavdave, 20. November 2006, 18:01
    

    [Comment ID #80290 will be quoted here]

    Between your picture and your comments…I’m sensing an awful lot of anger…I think someone needs a hug…

     
22. CroneWynd, 20. November 2006, 22:15
    

    [Comment ID #80288 will be quoted here]

    A cappuccino is espresso (coffee that is produced by forcing steam through packed coffee grounds, yielding the absolute essence of coffee yumminess in a very concentrated form) with milk (I prefer soy) that has been heated with steam until it is very foamy. You have 1 part espresso, 1 part milk, 1 part foam. It’s got a lovely caramelly color on it, and it is very good. Well worth trying the next time you have a chance.

    Yes, I live in Washington state.

     
23. dagny, 20. November 2006, 22:23
    

    I could have easily been #5 because I had really bad feet as a kid and generally had to wear shoes EVERYWHERE. I went to a friends’ house where they had no carpet and they told us to take our shoes off and I was literally crying “I’m not allowed to take my shoes off!”

    In my defense, I was like 4 years old.

     
24. Kristi, 20. November 2006, 22:46
    

    [Comment ID #80299 will be quoted here]

    I’m a fellow Washingtonian…and a coffee lover…and I’m sad to say I did not know that.

    I even used to live in Seattle.
    

     
25. mesmereyes, 20. November 2006, 22:50
    

    The handicapped at disneyland…Im sorry but if your legs are shattered into a million little peices, is a roller coaster such a good idea right now?

     
26. Kangaroo, 20. November 2006, 23:44
    

    The YOUNG woman who slam dunked an elderly lady, to get into line first, when the checker opened the register for the elderly lady in the first place.

     
27. Kangaroo, 20. November 2006, 23:47
    

    [Comment ID #80302 will be quoted here] As a temporarily wheelchair bound person, I say, if you can handle the roller coaster, go for it, cause its been medically proven that they cause bleeding in the brain ANYWAY, so, what does it matter?

     
28. Ducatisti, 21. November 2006, 1:14
    

    I never mind waiting for a truly physically challenged person at Disneyland – the ones that bug me are the families I see at the front of every line, with one member in a rented wheelchair, and 10 other members tagging along for the ride, literally.

    We’ve seen this often, and once even saw a different family member in the chair later in the day — with the first ‘handicapped’ person easily walking along behind the chair.

    Grrrr.

    It’s only a passing frustration though – I believe that karma will really getcha for doing something as inappropriate and blatantly wrong as this. To me it’s like taking candy from a baby.

    Yea, there’s definitely worse things in life, but jeesh, cheating at Disneyland – how low can you go?

     
29. the big T, 21. November 2006, 1:25
    

    How about out buddy O J simpon what a slime :puke:

     
30. Amanda B., 21. November 2006, 6:46
    

    O J Simpson; What a P.O.S. !!! I can’t believe he would even possibly think that anyone would want to read his disgusting book!!! :puke:

     
31. Tara, 21. November 2006, 7:39
    

    What about the woman at the atm who has to try four different cards, swears the whole time, and walks away with no money.

     
32. Kangaroo, 21. November 2006, 8:34
    

    [Comment ID #80305 will be quoted here] And with THIS comment, I TRULY agree. Being in a wheelchair even temporarily has given me new respect for those that are in them permanently. And yes, what goes around comes around. THAT is a truly LOUSY trick to pull.

     
33. Wayne, 21. November 2006, 9:52
    

    :boob:

     
34. Wayne, 21. November 2006, 9:53
    

    :wang:

     
35. Meagan, 21. November 2006, 17:44
    

    [Comment ID #80291 will be quoted here]

    Thanks, I needed that. Though that picture was actually taken at a party and I was just flipping off the camera for fun.

     
36. Pappy, 21. November 2006, 22:52
    

    [Comment ID #80309 will be quoted here]

    What is his stupid book even about?

     
37. Francois, 21. November 2006, 22:57
    

    I’ve been watching this for a while and this was the first time that your link was actually funny!

     
38. Lisa, 30. November 2006, 14:19
    

    From the files of people I hate:
    1. Devil’s advocates. Stop pissing people off just to see what happens, you freaks.
    2. Marshmallow haters. How in God’s name can you hate a marshmallow?
    3. Non-caffeine drinkers who don’t drink alcohol, either. There must be something horribly wrong and I don’t trust you.
    4. Compulsive huggers. For crissakes, stop touching me.
    5. Crusaders. I’m glad you have a cause, but trust me when I say this: your efforts are wasted on me.