Caption Time #141
Complete this sentence #27 (182)
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What is your kryptonite? (128)
More people we can safely dislike (113)
A pigment of my imagination (106)
Note to Self, No. 6,001 (103)
Keeping abreast of my readers (94)
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Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments © Davezilla 2008 |
Freedom-Black and Widgetized by Tina Silva
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Ok.. the obvious… “Come on man do it right this time.. SHOOT THE BITCH”
Ok, here they are in order of appearance…
Photo: “I’m sick of the lies, you have to choose! Her or ME!” Link: Damn! There goes my chance at getting a merit badge for anything… Video 1: I did that with a gew of my friends in Dublin… Ass-grabbing was an extra 10 euro Video 2: White people should NEVER be allowed to dance EVER!!!
That’s all I got right now
“I told you I had a headache– so you can just put that pistol back in your pants. And tell Satan to go to Hell.”
I like multiple choices…
Get in the bed with me or I’ll fill ya full of lead….. bitch!
The genie/devil has puffy pants, so he can’t be taken seriously.
The boy scout movement has become another pawn., fer shame fer shame fer shame.
“I TOLD you Bitch! Give up some pussy or I’ll SHOOT yer ass, and when they take me to jail, I’ll just say the devil made me do it!”
“Honey, I don’t care how much it gets you off, I’d rather shoot myself than have sex with THAT THING!”
“Separate beds are one thing, darling, but this headboard from Anton LaVey is creeping me out. Either it goes, or I go!”
The Devil of it is, that I have to shoot Hell out of everything.
:twisted:
ive told you for the last time, you either do me(the devil) or here now pick you homo….?????
Yes this is a gun, and I am happy to see you demon bitch!
He’s obviously dancing to his own music
Orson Welles’ failed attempt to make the Amityville Horror in 1947, led him to declare that;
‘There is no possible way to direct this dumb-ass story into anything other that a steaming pile of B-movie horseshit.’
If only they had listened.
This sucked. Janet was not impressed. Yes, John had been a prick about the whole ‘I am so bigger than six (6) inches’ thing, but this was ridiculous. OK, so his dick was the teeniest bit longer than the 6″ barrel on the stupid pistol. Gag me with a spoon, who cares?! And, damn, his whole fascination with that Puck character from Midsummer Night’s Dream as performed in ‘Porky’s’ was distracting. At least John had agreed that forest wallpaper wasn’t necessary in the bedroom. At least for now.
Janet could just scream. It was six weeks, now, since her unhappy complaint, ‘Your little dick sure hasn’t done me any good this month!’. Six weeks, and she still couldn’t get him past she meant ‘little dick’ as in ‘not nearly often enough’. And now another month and a half, and he still focuses on measuring his damn thing. Tonight had all the makings of another tedious wait for sanity to return.
Ernie considers eating the gun after his deal with the Devil goes horribly wrong. After asking to be a LOVE MACHINE he looks down to see his new big black wang. Unphased by this his hopes are dashed when every time he opens his mouth the only thing that comes out is “give it up bi-otch” Muriel saves his life by telling him to put the gun away. Deep, deep away, faster, harder away, oh god put it away, yes, yes, yes, yes.
kill your sister then you can do me
So now that you now I’m shooting blanks, I suppose I should also tell you the truth about the “horny little devil” I promised you on our honeymoon.
Note to perverts: Free hugs does not equal dry humping.
Tomato - Tomatoe
Caption - - You knew I was Greek when you married me now turn over or I’ll blast your tits off !
Video #1 - - All I can say is…RIGHT FUCKING ON , many a time I’v needed a hug and there were none to be had , so I say hug on people hug on .
Video #2 - - That dudes freakin me out man he’s freakin me out
Bill’s wife had to go. She’d fucked every guy in town; even the devil who is shown with an ice pack around his sore pecker.
NRA Training Video #88907 How to Neutralize a Home Intruder
Here a law-abiding citizen has awoken him from his sleep by the sounds of a home intruder. The citizen has un-holsered his bedroom gun, and is preparing himself for confrontation, at the urging of his wife.
However, he is unaware that the man in the suit is really a comic rapist, who has been waiting aloof for the citizen to leave the room in order to conduct a carnal interlude with his wife.
The NRA reccommends that the cirizen take full advantage of this unique opportunity to turn the joke on the intruder and his . Perhaps a manage-a-trios, followed by some drinks, massages, a bible-reading, a game of “whose got the butt-plug”, ending with a suprise double-murder-suicide.
“Oh yes the devil made me do it.” I can see the story behind the caption on this one.
Kenneth had enough of the madness. The voices in his head were becoming unbearable. For weeks, the voices, the damnable voices keep screaming into his head. You know what you must do! You know how it will end if you don’t! You must end this now! Do it…do it!!” Over his shoulder, unbeknown to Kenneth, a mysterious figure watched with anticipation of what was to come. Kenneth opened the drawer next to his bed and pulled out the small service pistol. As he cocked the hammer, his wife, Lilth awoke to the sound. It took a few moments to register what was going on around her. However it was too late. Kenneth fired the gun point blank range into his wifes head. Gray matter and blood splattered the walls and sheets on the bed. Laughter poured from the figure behind Kenneth, gleefully accepting the scene as a job well done. Kenneth, your pain is almost over. You know now what you must do. Accepting his fate, he put the gun to his head. With a smile of encouragement from the Devil behind him…
He pulled the trigger….
Free hugs, a great idea whose time has come, wouldn’t it be great if that campaign was to spread across the country? People would be spending less time finding ways to hurt each other, and and more time making each other feel good. I mean, I’m always looking for hugs, they just make you feel good, you know…….. :P
“Well, he IS hornier than you are…”
Isn’t that Perry Mason’s secretary? The one on the left, not mister poofy-pants.
give me ur money ho!
First I’m gonna pistol-whip you…and then I’m gonna make you my bitch. My friend over there is going to film it all.
nice one
Just as the bible foretold, one day a devil in puffy swimmers will make every man kill his wife.