How to speak English
Davezilla: Clean Humor, Filthy Comments © Dave Linabury 1994-2008. Unrelated to Toho, its products or services.
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where did you find that
wtf!?
FUCK!
thats how i speak english mother fucker
I think I’d like to see something in a mother size thanks.
Oooooooo, fuckie, fuckie ny sista only $20.00? Sounds familiar, where’d you say you got that book?
Is that porn ? Can I have it pleeease ? Has anyone checked how many times fuck is on that page, apparently english is easy fuck!!!
Anime strikes again. Okay, I will come over to you house and do what you ask.
This reminds me of english advertisements in Thailand. Here are a few examples.
2 bedroom, 2 bathrooms, kitchen, dining room and living room. Woman included. Do I get to choose the woman?
State Park sign: Littering. Lust think first.
Do we really need to think about it?
Finally a keyboard for those who like to ‘jump and peck’.
I wonder of R. Lee Emry knows about this, he should get royalties for this.
Oh, what a glorious word “fuck” is. Say it with me now: FUCK! FUCK, FUCK FUCK!
Uhh, if your sister has those same blank blue eyes that exhibit no soul like all Japanese anime` does, no thank you. Well, okay, but don’t tell anyone, okay?
Thank you for the laugh! I really needed it today. Did you get this at Borders?
i am fucking serious here, for fucking fuck’s sake, that’s always some funny fucking stuff.
I don’t know if the first cartoon books were sexually explicit cartoons or not. But the groady stuff would not have been more than 9 months behind.
—
Jill was devastated. Since her return from Asia, she was used to being the only one in seventh grade that read Japanese. School in North Central Oklahoma (Cherokee Strip High, which has nothing to do with taking clothes off — Who’d a thunk?) was boring, so Jill was in the habit of bringing the latest issue of a school-oriented anime magazine to school. Geography and Literature went ever so much more smoothly with the excitingly explicit word-pictures to embellish the caricatures of the story cast.
But, oh, God. Today the Geography teacher was at a seminar (’Detecting Pre-Teen and Teen Drug Use in the Girl’s Restroom’, wtf?), and the sub, Mr. Kruse, noticed that Jill was looking at something other than her text or notebook, and that she was .. smuggling peanuts, breathing a bit heavy, flushed .. just enjoying the story on page 2. Was that where the Weekly World News got the Page 2 Girl? Anyway, Mr. Kruse asked her, ‘Jill, would you care to read this page? For the class? Shall I call the principal in to enjoy a taste of Asian culture?’ Because of course, for the first time in the last 10 issues (almost three months since the last time), they actually printed ‘fuck’ in English. As if there weren’t 12 different Japanese words and phrases that mean the same ‘impersonal execution of the sex act between (sometimes) consenting (often) adult (usually) people, or just used as a derogatory word with distasteful sexual connotations’ meaning. And that *would* be when Mr. Kruse walked by — doesn’t that old guy ever sit down?!?
What could Jill do? ‘I’m sorry, Mr. Kruse, but I shouldn’t have brought this to school, and shouldn’t read it aloud to my classmates.’ Mr. Kruse smiled, got a large envelope, had Jill slide the magazine into the envelope — then the sod sealed the envelope and *handed it back to Jill!* And went on with the lesson!!
After class, a jittery Jill approached Mr. Kruse, and asked, ‘What happens now, sir?’ And Mr. Kruse told her to keep the envelopes at home. And don’t be late for next class! How weird! Instead of a trip to the office — suspension was automatic if a substitute teacher sent you — or losing the magazine, have a note sent to her parents .. just nothing. Now her friends were dying to see the magazine — but Jill could never bring herself to open the envelope in school again.
At breakfast Jill’s father mentioned ‘Your bed is really squeaky lately’. ‘I have been studying so hard, I guess I am restless in my sleep!’ Jill replied, with a playful-daunting tilt to her face. Jill’s father and mother smiled at each other, ‘Your oatmeal is ready, dear.’
That is certainly not like the Dick and Jane books we were issued when
I was struggling with first grade. See Spot F—! Oh, Oh -Oh!
thats re-god damned-diculous
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See Dick. See Dick fuck. See Dick fuck Jane real hard. Oh baby.
Ha!
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Meagan! Stop it! You’re burning out the pixels on my monitor!
Perhaps this is Japan’s version of the Dick and Jane books?
This is Dick.
This is Jane.
See Dick fuck Jane.
Fuck, Dick, fuck!
I’m sure the fine print, in that Japanese font it reads like an Andrew Dice Clay monologue:
Jack and Jill
Went up a hill
Each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two-fifty!
Oh, that fucking whore…
Just speculatin’…
PS: Anyone else aroused reading this? lol