Thanks, no
Archive for July, 2006
Use only as directed
Coca Cola: Intended as a soft drink, but does a great job cleaning whitewall tires. Do not use Coca Cola as birth control. Seriously.
Mentos: Sold as a breath mint, but we all know Mentos are meant for rocketry experiments.
Toothpaste: Intended for teeth, but does a great job polishing silverware and filling nail holes when showing the house to realtors.
Clowns: Intended to make children laugh, but succeed only in scaring the crap out of adults.
Hairspray: Meant to hold hair in place, but better at removing ink from fabric and when set afire, makes a brilliant bug repellant.
Viagra: Invented to be a heart medication, but turned out better at treating erections and preventing early divorces
Milk: Our ancestral food as mammals, it is now flows through our noses to indicate that something is funny.
Matchbooks: Intended to light candles, cigarettes, et al, we know their true purpose: leveling table legs.
Which ones did I miss?
